


Your Highness

by EJOakenshield



Series: Matters of the Heart [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drama, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Romance, Traditions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-26 18:47:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 54,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3860665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EJOakenshield/pseuds/EJOakenshield
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an emotional night of revealing secrets, and a bit of deflowering, Dwalin, and Fili find themselves in a love affair that defies all customs, and traditions of their people, let alone the royal family. Will Fili finally be able to break the chains of his birthright, or will tradition hold it's place above the matters of the heart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Chance Encounter

Chapter 1: A Chance Encounter

Fili sat by himself at the edge of the party. It was a grand festival in the halls of Erebor. Today marked one year since their victory at The Battle of the Five Armies, and the halls were alive with laughter, drink, and celebration. Fili just wasn't in the mood. He watched the merry-making from his place in the corner of the hall, wishing that depressed feeling in the back of his mind would go away so he could actually enjoy himself, but alas, it lingered.

"Hey!"

He looked up when his brother's voice called to him. Kili walked over, and Fili could instantly tell he was drunk. He smiled at him, and shook his head.

"What are you doing... all by yourself?"

"I jut don't feel up for a festival, Kili. Go on. Have fun. I'm fine."

Kili leaned down over the table and looked at his brother closely. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Really sure?"

"Really sure." He stood and grabbed a full bottle of wine from the table. He placed a gentle hand on Kili's shoulder. "You be careful, but have fun." Then with another fleeting smile, Fili walked out of the hall, carrying his bottle.

He walked out to a high balcony that over looked the land before Erebor. There was a cool breeze and Fili let it blow his hair freely. He sighed, and opened the bottle. He tossed the cork off the side, and watched as it fell, so far he that couldn't see it's landing. He shrugged and took a few large drinks in gulps. He took a deep exhale when he pulled the bottle away and made a face. The wine was tart and strong, almost enough to make Fili toss it behind the cork.

He then shrugged again, and took another large swig.

"Oh..!" He placed the back of his hand to his mouth, "Durin's beard!"

He heard a laugh from behind him, and he whipped around.

Thorin stood there, arms crossed, watching the young prince. "Why would you take a whole bottle of wine if you don't even like it?"

"It's not about liking it, Uncle. It's about getting drunk."

"Fair enough." Thorin walked over and took a deep breath of the fresh air. He leaned on the edge of the balcony, and looked down. The height would have been sickening to someone who wasn't used to it, but Thorin found it beautiful, and majestic. Danger was beautiful in it's own way. He looked over to Fili, who was staring into the star-studded sky. He took the bottle from him, and took a drink himself. He had to hold back a grimace, and quickly handed the bottle back to Fili. "Strong stuff. Take it easy."

Fili shook his head. "I had no intention."

Thorin placed a hand on his shoulder and gave him a thoughtful gaze. He placed their foreheads together, and Fili was a bit confused for the intimate contact, but he welcomed it. Thorin had always had a way with knowing when he needed a gentle hand, he assumed it came from helping raise him. "My dearest nephew, where has your smile gone?"

Fili kind of scoffed at the question. If he knew the answer, he'd have it, wouldn't he? "I don't know, Uncle." He stepped away from the embrace and turned back towards the beautiful, dangerous ledge. "I just feel... stuck. Like I'm going around in circles waiting for nothing to happen." He took another drink, and didn't hide his disgust, but there was a warm feeling building in his chest, and it encouraged him to brave yet another swig.

Thorin placed both his hands on the young prince's shoulders and made him face him. "You are a Prince of Durin. You will grow into your place, Fili. With age comes the understanding you seek. Do not trouble yourself so."

Fili smiled up at his uncle. It was sincere and he honestly appreciated his attempt to make him feel better, even if it didn't work. Thorin led Fili back into the hallway. He placed their foreheads together for another second before turning, and walking down the hall.

Once again, Fili was alone. He took another deep breath, and another drink. It was almost half gone now, and he was starting to feel his head swim. He walked back over to the beautifully dangerous balcony, and stared off into the night. Where had his smile gone, indeed...

He downed a few more drinks of the bottle and sat on the railing Thorin had leaned on earlier. The air was picking up, and Fili liked the way it felt flowing by him. He looked down into his wine bottle in vain. It was too dark to see inside, besides, the bottle was a dark glass. He shrugged for the third time, and turned it up, draining all of it.

He sat on the railing for what seemed like forever, and he was starting to feel sufficiently intoxicated. He stood, and looked down, following the path the cork had taken to it's resting place on the stone, below the fog. Suddenly he found himself wondering what it would feel like to fall over the ledge... to feel the wind whipping passed him as he flew, magnificently, and freely through the air, awaiting, without fear, the sudden end at the bottom.

Then he started to move. He was aware of what he was doing, but he seemed to be watching himself from afar, unable, or unwilling to control himself. At first, he climbed on top of the railing and let his feet hang over, like a child sitting on a chair too large for him, but then he noticed a bit of stone sticking out from the railing, about three inches. As he wiggled his way down, he placed about half the heel of his boots on the small, unforgiving edge, and slowly stood. He kept his hands on the rail for balance, and let the empty bottle of wine fall onto the balcony.

The breeze picked up again, and he inhaled it lovingly. Then without thought, he stretched his arms out, and balancing shakily on the edge, letting the danger fill him, finally, for the first time in a long time, he felt alive. Fear, excitement, sadness, glee. He felt it all in one embrace of mortality's shaky line.

He stood relishing the moment, loving the feeling of emotion, however unpleasant. Then suddenly, large hands gripped his shoulders and slung him over railing. He landed right on his rear end, and everything had happened so quickly, he'd barely even registered it when his savior started scolding.

" 'Ay lad! What the hell are ya doin'? Have ya lost yer fuckin' mind?!"

As the reality of the situation hit Fili, he immediately felt humiliated. He looked up at Dwalin, who was staring back at him with intense shock, and confusion, but there was also anger. Dwalin had really just caught him, literally playing with death. Standing on three inches of stone, at least 200 feet above the ground, the solid, rock ground. Fili was certain he thought him an absolute drunken fool, or perhaps completely insane. He felt like both.

"Are ya that drunk, lad?!"

"No.. I-I mean, I drank some wine..."

Dwalin laughed, but it was dry and almost automatic. He was still in complete shock, looking from Fili, to the rail, and now to the bottle lying on the ground."Lay off the stuff, boy. For Durin's sake, you could have died!"

"I know."

"What were ya thinking, Fili?" He tapped his own head with the palm of his hand and made a gesture as if his mind floated away into the air above him.

"I... wasn't thinking. I was... just..." Fili couldn't think of anything to say that didn't make him sound drunk, suicidal, or completely mad. "I wasn't thinking..."

Dwalin's hand shot out to him. "Come with me. Now."

Fili had known Dwalin long enough to know the difference between an order and a request and this was certainly the former. He took his hand, and Dwalin yanked him up, and started leading him through the halls. He just knew they were going straight to his uncle. He was trying to come up with any excuse to make what had happened sound any kind of sensible. While his mind raced, he didn't realize where they had ended up, until Dwalin opened the large, wooden door to a huge, magnificent room.

Well, it was more like a home than a room. The walls had been carved through the stone, making a kitchen and living space, then to the side was what Fili assumed was a bedroom, but he couldn't see. The door led right into a space with a round, wooden table and two chairs to his left with an oil lamp burning brightly on top of it. Directly in front of him, just on the other side of long rectangular counter carved into the very room was a large white, beautifully decorated rug on which two comfortable chairs sat in front of a burning fireplace. To the left was a small room, and Fili could see the shelves, and knew it was a pantry.

Then it occurred to him that this is where Dwalin lived. It was cozy, and seemed to fit the warrior just right.

Fili had always admired Dwalin, not only as a warrior, but as a loyal friend, and a very good dwarf. He had always wanted to be like him one day, even if he did seem gruff and uninviting. There was a sincerity to Dwalin that Fili had always cared for. When he and Kili were younger, they both had eyes for the warrior. Secretly giggling together when he would walk by about how handsome he looked. Having fake arguments about which one of them he would ask Thorin to court one day. Making him angry just so he would come scold them and they would hold in their boyish laughter. He was a far off figure to Fili, and he felt so open and exposed to him now.

Dwalin led the young prince to one of the chairs in front of the fire, and almost pushed him into it. He watched as he grabbed a mug, and poured some coffee from a kettle over the fire. He gave it to Fili, and poured one for himself. He sat in the chair to Fili's left, and took a few drinks. Fili could tell he was thinking of what to say, and he found he had a lump in his throat waiting for him to speak, like a child who knew he was in a lot of trouble.

Finally, he leaned up, holding the cup with both hands, and resting his elbows on his knees. "Fili..." He paused as if rethinking, "Were... were ya trying to kill yourself?"

Fili looked down at his coffee, and took a drink. It was really good, and he would've complimented the warrior, and thanked him for it, if the situation were lighter. He was certainly more sober than ever now, but his mind was still catching up with him. "I don't think so..." The statement shocked even him. That's not exactly an answer.

"Ye don't think so? What does that mean?"

"I don't ... know." Fili hung his head. Perhaps it was the lingering alcohol, or the sheer intensity of the situation, but Fili found himself speaking with complete honesty. "I wasn't really trying to kill myself. I didn't have a meaning to jump... I just... wasn't afraid of falling." He took a quick drink of the coffee. It was helping him. Dwalin somehow knew.

"And ye would have, if I hadn't found ya. That can't be what ya want, Fili."

Fili didn't know what else to say. He didn't know what Dwalin wanted to hear. "I don't know how to explain it, Dwalin, but it's not important..."

Dwalin gave him a look, and raised his eyebrows. He took a drink of his coffee, and looked at him suspiciously. "Ya expect me to find ye hanging off the edge of a balcony, and consider that to be unimportant. Nah, lad, you've got the wrong dwarf."

"I wasn't hanging off of it."

"Might as well 'ave."

"What do you want me to say?" Fili was getting frustrated.

Dwalin shook his head and finished off his coffee. He sat the mug down, and laced his hands together. "I don't want ya to say anythin'. If ya do want to say somethin', I'm hoping you could help me understand why ya would be thinking that way."

Fili stood suddenly. Dwalin was up immediately. Fili handed him the half empty mug, and Dwalin sat it by his on the small table in the corner. "I have to go." Fili said, "Thank you, Master Dwalin, for the coffee, and your help, but the hour is late."

"That it is."

Fili turned to leave, but just before he made it to the door, Dwalin spoke again. "Do ya feel like no body care for you?"

"What?" Fili had heard him, but the question just came out as he turned.

"Is that why ya didn't mind fallin' off that balcony? Ya don't feel like anybody cares about ya?"

Fili felt embarrassed by the question. Now, not only was he a drunken fool, but a drunken inconsiderate fool. He and Dwalin both knew Fili had a family, and plenty of friends, who loved him very much. "Of course not."

"Heart broken?"

"What? No..."

"'Ave you done somethin'?"

"No, Dwalin... I-"

"Then what?"

"I don't feel anymore, ok?!" Fili's voice was suddenly loud, and angry. "I just walk around in this ... fog! I don't find joy in anything! I don't marvel at the sun like I used to. The magic is gone from me, Dwalin... and if you don't mind, I'd like to go back to dealing with it on my own! Goodnight."

Dwalin was on him before he even got to the doorknob. He whipped him around, but instantly released his grip. "Ya don't have to deal with it on yer own."

Fili looked at the ground, "Yes, I do. No one would understand."

"Ya won't let 'em."

Fili suddenly noticed the space between them growing smaller as Dawlin leaned in toward him. Fili stepped back, but his back pressed against the door. Dwalin lifted one hand and rested it on the door beside Fili's head. He used the other to lift his chin, and make their eyes meet. "Don't do that to yourself. Don't be like ol' Dwalin... Yer not gonna be happy that way."

Fili felt his face melt into a sympathetic expression. The idea that Dwalin was unhappy just sent pain through Fili's heart. Dwalin dropped his hand from the younger dwarf's chin, and backed away. "I'm sorry, Master Fili, that was... forward of me. Ya can go if ya want. I'm not keepin' ya here."

Fili just stood, frozen to the door. Dwalin turned and walked back to the fire. The only part of his body Fili could get to work was his voice. "Master Dwalin..." He looked over at his prince. "I don't want you to be unhappy. I'm sorry if what I did has caused you any grief. I-I didn't mean anything by it..."

Dwalin just stared for a moment, before walking back over to him. This time, standing at a reasonable distance. He looked down at him, and Fili's eyes flashed in the fire light. "Ya haven't caused me any grief, Master Fili. That's a promise."

Fili actually managed a smile. He stepped away from the door, closing the gap between them suddenly, but Dwalin didn't move back much. "I do believe, if you don't mind." He looked up at him. "That I will stay just a bit longer."

"I'd like that." Dwalin moved, and walked with Fili back to the chairs. The resumed their places by the fire, and Dwalin poured them fresh cups of coffee.

They sipped in a comfortable silence for a moment until Fili finally spoke: "May I ask you a personal question, Master Dwalin?"

"If ya want, and drop the Master. Yer my prince."

"Yes, but we are in your home. It's only polite."

"Whatever ye prefer, Master Fili."

"Well then, Master Dwalin. Why is that you've never married?" Fili had always wondered this. Being gay was a very accepted thing in their society, so that would not explain his single status. He'd never even heard of him courting someone.

"Well, I've always had my head in my work. No time for courting, and doing anythin' proper like, so I just never did."

"Have you always done your courting properly?"

Dwalin laughed and leaned back in his chair. "I was a young lad, once, Master Fili. Believe it or not, I made my share of mistakes."

Fili smile again, and drank his coffee.

"Of course, ya don't go getting married without doin' things proper. Tradition is tradition fer a reason."

Fili couldn't help but think of the late night talks with his brother, about coming of age, and magically having the dwarven warrior fall in love, and demand courtship from their uncle, who always somehow agreed in the fantasy, but in reality, Fili really didn't think he would. For any normal dwarf, courting was simply started when one dwarf asked another to join them in courtship, but with any prince, heir, or any member of the royal family, special permission must be given.

"But why?" Fili asked finally, trying to sound aloof to the idea. "I don't want a courtship."

"Why not?"

"Just ... too formal."

"Says the heir to the throne. I'd be gettin' used to it, if I were ye."

"I suppose so."

"Ah..." Dwalin waved in the air, "Ya got plenty a time to be worried about that when you're older. Ya shouldn't be troubled with that now."

Fili nodded, and once again stood, this time, with real intention on going, and finding his bed. Dwalin stood with him. He handed him the mug once again, and Dwalin sat it on it's place.

Fili looked up and him, attempting to wish him a goodnight, but words just didn't come. He found himself a bit enamored, and shy, realizing only now, he was talking so deeply with his childhood crush. Dwalin stared down at him, something in his eyes. Fili wondered if there was something he wanted to say. He wanted to ask, but when it spoke it just came out. "Are you alright?"

He'd broken the trance. "Yes... Master Fili. I'm guessing you'll be off now."

"I really should."

Dwalin nodded. "Aye, not a decent hour, it's not."

Even though, he's announced his intention to, Fili did not go. He stood, feeling the warmth of the fire, enjoying his close proximity to the warrior. He then took a breath, and was just about to take a step, when Dwalin grabbed his arm gently.

"Master Fili..." He took a breath before continuing. "Would I be steppin' outta place if I were to ... kiss you?"

Fili's eyes widened. Had he really just said that? Was his mind playing those horrible tricks again? "Kiss me?" Fili said, without thinking.

Then, as if he had given him all the permission he needed, Dwalin wrapped his arms around the smaller dwarf's waist and placed his lips on Fili's roughly. At first, Fili was frozen, unsure of what to do, or what was happening, but Dwalin knew exactly what to do, and brushed his lips over Fili's, until he lifted up to meet them in a real kiss.

They stood, wrapped up in each other, kissing madly for a long time. Then suddenly Dwalin stepped back, almost dropping Fili. The prince steadied himself, and looked at Dwalin with a hurt expression, shocked from the sudden loss of contact.

"I-I'm sorry Master Fili... I shouln'ta done that... You've had a rough night, and I-"

"Dwalin..."

He stopped talking and looked at his young prince.

"Don't go away from me... Please."

That was all it took for Dwalin to close the gap again. This time, he rushed him so quickly, he literally took him off his feet, but he held him up easily with one arm, and the other cupped his face as they kissed passionately again. Fili wrapped his arms around Dwalin's neck and swore for a moment, he was a young boy again, having one of his outlandish dreams.

Dwalin broke the kiss, and sat him back on his feet. He stepped back, but only slightly, keeping them close enough to feel each other's heat. Fili stared at him for a moment, and couldn't hold his tongue any longer. "When did you...? I mean... that was..."

"It's not hard to notice someone like yourself, Master Fili. You're young, honorable, clever, and beautiful. I'd be a damn fool not to."

"Why haven't you said anything?"

"You're the prince. Your uncle'd have me strung up if he knew I done somethin' like that."

Fili laughed a bit, but only because he knew it was true. That wasn't exactly 'doing it proper'. Fili didn't care though, he leaned in Dwalin's chest, and hugged him tightly. Dwalin instantly returned, and they stood, holding each other, in the warmth of the fire.

Fili felt so comfortable, he yawned. Dwalin looked down at him. "You're exhausted."

"I know."

"Ya should be headin' home."

"I don't want to. I don't like home. I like it here."

"Yer welcome to stay, if you'd like, Master Fili, but... if yer uncle were to find out..."

Fili looked up at him. "He won't. He doesn't pay that much attention to me."

"Ah, that's not true, lad. He worries about ya. Ya are his heir, after all."

Fili sighed. He didn't like being the heir. He didn't like being a prince. He wished once he could walk through the halls of his home without everyone straightening and fixing themselves when he walked by. He wanted to be seen like everyone else. "I don't want that... I wish I could just be... normal."

Dwalin tilted the young prince's head again, and placed another small kiss on his lips. "That can't be helped. Yer born where yer born, and ya are what ya are."

"I guess." Fili broke their embraced and turned towards the door. "I should..." He motioned to the door.

Dwalin nodded, and stepped back, giving him room to go.

Fili turned and walked to the door. As his hand went for the knob, a hundred things swarmed through his head. He wanted to open the door, and run, but at the same time he wanted to whip around and say, or do... Mahal, a million things. He wanted to scold him and let him know that this is not how he acted in his fantasy and he needed to correct that. He wanted to tell him he was scared... scared of never being happy again. He could have burst into tears if the right thing was said, but he also felt like he could leap on him, and let him deflower him right there on the majestic, white rug.

Suddenly, he realized he was standing, holding the knob, frozen in place. To avoid some kind of embarrassment, and just because something in him said to, he turned without any idea of what he was going to say. He opened his mouth and just kind of spoke, almost as unaware of the words as Dwalin. "Aren't you going to stop me?"

"Pardon?"

"Aren't you going to tell me to stay? Isn't that how this works? That's certainly how I saw it going in my mind, and frankly I'm disappointed."

Mahal, he sounded like Thorin when he said that. He thought that more and more as he got older.

Dwalin gave him a look of bewilderment for a second, but it was mixed with something else. He walked over to the prince, and pushed his golden hair away from his face. He placed both of his hands on his cheeks, and kissed him with a passion Fili had never felt before. All he could do was place his hands on top of Dwalin's and let him explore his mouth. When the kiss was over, far too soon for Fili, Dwalin placed their foreheads together.

"Ya should really go."

"Why?"

"'cause you don't want to be doing something yer not ready for. Not with me. Not here."

Fili felt a bit bashful about the fact that he called him out on his virginity. He looked down at the floor, and tried to think of something to say to make that not matter. He couldn't lie to him, even if he wanted to. Older drawves had a sense for that sort of thing anyway. Honestly, Fili didn't care much about his virginity. If not Dwalin, it would be someone down the line that he probably admired half as much.

"And why not with you? Why not here? Obviously there is something between us, Master Dwalin. Why ignore it?"

"Because..." He stepped back, and Fili could see a deep sadness in his eyes. "Your Majesty..." He didn't say it with venom. He said it with respect, and sadness. "This isn't exactly right..."

"Then why did you kiss me? Do you know that I've admired you for years? I would have done this when I was... fifty!"

Dwalin looked at him shocked. Not because of his affection, but for the young age he said he'd felt it from. Dwarfs coming of age was sixty-five. Fili was not quite three years older than that now. "You shouldn't be sayin' things like that."

"It's true..."

Dwalin took a deep breath. Fili tried desperately to read his thoughts, but his expression read only sad, and thoughtful. Finally, he kissed him again. Soft, sweet, and loving. He held him close and Fili knew he was saying goodbye.

Anger, lust, hormones, whatever it was, Fili just couldn't accept that. He shoved Dwalin back and the leaped on him, wrapping his legs around him, and making him back up to the table. He kissed him so deeply, Dwalin couldn't control kissing him back. They kissed for a long time, and Fili felt his pants getting tighter. He wanted this, however wrong it might be. He wanted Dwalin to have his virginity, and his courtship, and anything else he could have with him, but for now, he would settle for the first.

"Dwalin... Please..." He said in between kisses, "I want you to take me..."

"Fili, we can't..." But Dwalin's hands betrayed him and he pushed Fili's coat off and onto the floor. He lifted him by his thighs and adjusted him more comfortably on his waist and started kissing him again.

"Please..." Fili said again, grabbing his face with both of his hands. "Don't make me... have to order you..." Fili almost jumped as his words put Dwalin at full hard on in a matter of seconds. Fili smirked and started working on his belt. Dwalin stopped him, having to take a deep breath when he did.

"Wait... If were gonna do this, we're doing it right." He suddenly stood, carrying Fili with such ease that it made him swoon for the older dwarf. He took him to the bedroom, and placed him gently, sideways in the bed. He stood, and took off his belt, and tunic. Fili marveled at his sculpted, battle worn chest, covered in tattoos. He then draped himself over Fili and started kissing him again, this time moving down to his jaw, and neck.

Fili felt him kick his boots off, and he did the same. He felt Dwalin move slightly, rubbing their erections together, and it made Fili gasp. He lifted up, hands on each side of Fili's head. "This is your first time?"

Fili nodded, even though he knew Dwalin knew the answer. He leaned down and kissed him softly. "And you're sure you want to do this..?"

Fili kissed him again. "I do. I want to give it to you."

Dwalin was getting very worked up, and Fili could tell. He saw the restraint in his movements, trying to go slow, and not make a wrong move. It was obvious though, that he was very experienced, his hands moved to the right places, at the perfect time. He only pushed up against Fili in that incredible way when he knew he was enjoying it the most.

Fili was in awe of his patience, and the way he moved only for him, but that's not what he wanted. He wanted Dwalin. He wanted him the way he was naturally. Yes, he was a virgin, but he didn't want to be treated that way. "Master Dwalin..." he said, and he looked up from his place in Fili's neck, "You don't have to go so slow. I'm ready for this."

Dwalin smiled down at him. He caressed his face, and placed another smoldering kiss on his lips. He took it to heart, too, and stripped Fili of everything but his pants. Fili took a deep breath, and gathered the courage. He reached out and rubbed Dwalin's erection through his pants. Dwalin let out an approving breath and started rocking in his hand. He then gently pushed his hand away, and stood. He stripped his pants and Fili immediately felt nervous about his size.

He was about to climb back on the bed, but Fili stopped him. He stood, and slowly went to his knees. Dwalin didn't say anything. He placed a hand gently on Fili's head and guided him. Fili closed his eyes, and slowly took as much as he could of Dwalin's hard muscle. He started to bob his head up and down, but pushed a bit too far and gagged. He backed up and was about to apologize when Dwalin started first: "It's ok, lad. You're doing fine." Fili stared up at hi as he took him again, fixing the angle, and worked on sucking, and breathing.

Dwalin gripped his hair, but not too hard, and started moving with his rhythm slowly. It was so big, and hot, and Fili's head was swimming again. He wanted to please him. He wanted him to know how much he appreciated what he'd done... what he was doing for him. He moaned over it, and Dwalin gripped his hair again, harder this time. He pulled his head back and tilted it up with a yank. Fili gasped but the wave a lust that went through his was overwhelming. Dwalin looked down at him for a moment and stroked his face.

He then stood him up, captured his lips in another kiss, and slowly pushed his pants until the fell to the floor at his ankles. He laid him on the bed and positioned himself between his legs. He reached down and with one hand, start stroking Fili's rock hard cock, and with the other he placed at Fili's lips. He took them, and made sure they were wet before letting Dwalin withdraw them. He placed one finger at his entrance, and slowly traced the circle of it. Fili closed his eyes. Dwalin leaned down and kissed him.

"It's alright." He said, "I wouldn't hurt you."

He slowly pressed it inside, and Fili held his breath. Dwalin kissed his jaw, and cheek. "Relax, and breath." He instructed. Fili listened, and slowly the movement of his one finger became pleasurably intense. As he pushed in another finger, Fili clung to him. He didn't tell him to stop, but his whole body tensed. Dwalin was slow, and methodical. He started moving them only when Fili relaxed, and it caused moans to erupt from his prince's lips. Soon he was rocking his hips back and forth, pressing down on Dwalin's fingers, and moving up into his hand.

Dwalin slowly entered a third finger, and this one was a bit much for Fili. He pushed his hand off of his cock, and held it tightly. Dwalin cradled him in his now free arm, and slowly worked his fingers inside. "Master... Dwalin..."

He kissed him and slowly removed his fingers, he reached over to a small cabinet beside the bed, and grabbed some lightly scented oil. He slicked himself up with it generously, and liked how Fili watched. He took Fili by the hips, and pulled him close. He placed his throbbing cock at his entrance, and kissed him, without a word, and slowly started to slide in. Fili winced into his kiss, but didn't back away. Dwalin slowly buried every bit of himself into the young prince, and sat there, motionless, as Fili squirmed, trying to relax his tensing muscles.

Dwalin kissed him passionately. He placed their foreheads together. Fili was shaking. Dwalin moved as gently as he could, and placed their chests together, and wrapped his arms around him, his head resting on his large forearm. Then he slowly started to move. Fili gripped his shoulders, and bit him softly. Dwalin groaned at the feeling and started to pump slowly.

Fili immediately started moaning, and let his head fall back on Dwalin's arm. He jumped as his lover bit him between his shoulder and neck, and bared down just a bit. Fili could tell there were at least teeth marks, if not a bruise. "Ow..." He said softly. Dwalin kissed the spot, and looked down at him, slowing his pace as he spoke: "Don't like being rough, little prince?" The way his voice had changed made Fili shudder.

"Do you?"

"Aye." He placed an out of place, gentle kiss on his lips. "If ya feel ya want to try..."

Fili wrapped his legs around Dwalin, and he knew he wouldn't last long at all if he was rough with him. He tried to suppress his excitement, for fear of ending it all right there. Dwalin instantly understood the hint, and lifted up. The way he moved, made Fili a bit nervous, but he wanted it so bad. He was so aroused and mesmerized, the warrior dwarf could have killed him right there and he would've been happy. He gripped Fili's hips and started moving a bit faster, then faster, then their bodies started to clap together and Fili had to grip the bed beneath him.

Then he felt it. The surge from his erection all the way through his body. "Dwalin..." He tried to stop it but his back was already arching, and Dwalin had already noticed. He grabbed his swollen cock, just as the young prince released onto his stomach, and Dwalin's blanket under him. The sight was too much for Dwalin and after only a few more thrusts, he spilled into Fili, holding his hips so tightly, Fili already felt the bruise.

He softened his grip after a second, and slipped out. He lowered Fili down on the bed, just now noticing he had him lifted. He leaned down and kissed him, softly. "Are ya alright, lad?"

Fili nodded, but his face was red with the after shock setting in. He felt dirty, and slightly uncomfortable, but not because of Dwalin.

Dwalin stood, and grabbed a cloth from a shelf in the corner. He cleaned himself, and walked over and gently wiped Fili's stomach, his softening cock, and his, now throbbing, entrance. Fili stared at him, not sure how to feel about the loving gestures from the dwarf he'd always seen as so strong. He lifted the clothed and wiped what little their was on the blanket, but Fili was suddenly embarrassed about it.

"I'm sorry." He said, and looked away.

Dwalin laughed. He flicked one of Fili's braids, and caused it to land over his eyes. Dwalin didn't fix it and stood, and pulled on only his pants. He picked up Fili's and gave them to him. Fili stood, if a little slowly, and slid them on. He sat back down on the bed, and he heard Dwalin take a deep breath.

"What's wrong?" He asked, rather quickly.

Dwalin looked at him, and gave him a half-hearted smile. "Nothin'." He said and shrugged, "Nothin' wrong. I just..."

"You're worried about Thorin?"

"Well, aye, but also I wasn't thinking of yer uncle in particular."

"We don't have to tell anyone." Fili said, and he walked over to him. "I told you before. I don't want a courtship. I don't want to go by these rules that others have set for my life."

"Those rules are there for a reason."

"Fuck the reason."

"Fili..."

"No! What do you want? Do you want me to walk out that door, and we just pretend that didn't happen? Are you going to ask my uncle for my courtship? He'd jump down your throat." He took a deep breath, and took the larger dwarf's hands in his. "Why can't we just let it be what it is? It doesn't have to be proper, and it doesn't even have to be right, but this is the first time in a long time that I've felt alive. More alive than standing on that ledge ever made me feel... and I don't want to loose that over another damn technicality."

Dwalin pulled him close, and kissed him deeply. Fili knew, this time, it wasn't a goodbye, but there was still a sadness to it, almost apologetic. When he pulled back, and shook his head, but there was a smile across his lips.

"We 'ave to be careful..."


	2. Odin

Chapter 2: Odin

When Fili awoke, it took him a moment to remember where he was. He was lying alone in the large stone bed, with blankets wrapped all around him. He snuggled into the bed for a moment. It smelled of Dwalin, and he felt so at peace, cocooned into the fluffy comforter. Then it occurred to him...

What time is it? Oh, Mahal, they'll know I didn't come home. Thorin will be looking for me!

He jumped up and quickly changed. He had his same, tan pants, and brown boots, with a green tunic, and simple leather belt with only a small emeralds all the way around it. Just as he was fastening his belt, Dwalin walked in. He smiled at him, but also gave him a confused look. Dwalin was already changed, wearing black boots, and pants, and a red, cotton tunic with the Durin crest adorning the back. His belt was a black leather with a large ruby in the center of the buckle.

"Goin' already?"

"How late in the morning is it?"

"Almost lunch time."

"I have to." He walked over and placed a quick kiss on Dwalin's lips. "Thorin will know I didn't come home, and he knows I was drinking. He'll be looking."

Dwalin nodded, and caressed his face. "I'll be seeing ya, Master Fili."

Fili smiled and gave him another kiss, this one a little deeper. Then without another word, he walked over to the door, and since the first time he entered it, he opened it, and slid out. There was no one around, and he managed to get a safe distance away from Dwalin's home before coming across anyone, even though that happened to be some guards, who would have never questioned him about anything.

Just as he turned the corner, heading to the Great Hall to find his brother, he almost walked right into Thorin.

"Ah, Fili. There you are."

"Uh, Yeah. Were you ... looking for me?"

"I was. Come with me." Thorin looked down at him and gave him a frown. "Fili your still in the same clothes as last night. Go, freshen up. Meet me in the Great Hall as soon as you're ready."

He nodded, grateful to have the time to do so. "Yes, Uncle. I'll see you in a moment."

Thorin bowed a bit to his nephew, and turned away from him.

Fili rushed off to his chambers. When he arrived he took a deep breath, and couldn't help but let out a childish laugh. He felt like he was fifty again, giddy from getting away with sneaking out. He changed quickly into his same brown boots, matching pants, and deep blue, silver lined tunic, with a matching silver, chain belt, that hung just slightly loose on his hips. He looked in his mirror and fixed his hair, having to redo several braids.

Just before walking out, the same breeze from the night before rolled in and he found himself shivering. He reached toward to hook on the wall, and then noticed with a shock, his dark, fur overcoat was not there. Then, he remembered... Dwalin had pushed it off him in his kitchen. In his rush, he'd left his overcoat with Dwalin. He sighed, but smiled. Guess that was as good of an excuse as any to return to him.

He walked out, thankful his tunic was long sleeved, and head to the Great Hall.

When he walked in, he immediately noticed Thorin speaking to an older dwarf he had never seen before. He hated meeting officials from other kingdoms. It just felt awkward.

"Ah, Fili." Thorin said when he noticed him. "This is Ludin, son of Tudin. A representative of the noble dwarves of the Ivory Hills. A far land to the east."

"Fili, son of Vili, at your service." He bowed and the noble dwarf returned it.

"Ludin, at your's." He replyed politely, "Forgive me if I sound forward, but I had your uncle call for you, in hopes that you would do me a favor."

"How may I be of service?"

"My son, Odin, is but a few years older than you. He was forced to come on this journey with me, and I'm afraid he's had a terrible time. Would you mind showing him around the famous halls of Erebor? Perhaps spending time with such a well composed prince will teach him a thing or two, and hopefully spending time with someone his age will be enjoyable for him."

Fili nodded politely. "It would be my pleasure, Sir." In his mind, however, Fili was rolling his eyes. Great, now he'd be playing the role of babysitter.

"Very good, then." Ludin said with a bright smile on his face. "I believe he is still downstairs by the drawbridge. I did mention he was not having an enjoyable venture. My apologies in advance."

Before Fili could ask what he meant, he started talking to Thorin, and they started walking away. Fili sighed and headed to the large staircase that led down to the drawbridge. He sighed deeply when he reached the top of them, looking down to see a dwarf, sitting on the bottom stair, arms crossed like a child. Just before he started down, a voice came from behind him.

"Your majesty..."

He turned to see Dwalin. He had a smile on his face, and his arms were behind his back.

"Master Dwalin." He bowed a bit, and smiled back at him.

Dwalin looked down the stairs and noticed the young dwarf sitting there. He pointed. "Never seen 'im before."

"You wouldn't. He's a noble dwarf's son from the Ivory Hills. I'm supposed to show him Erebor."

"'Ave fun with that, I heard the gate guards talking earlier of a noble dwarf and his lad. Said the boy was a right brat, he was."

"Great..."

"You left your coat." Dwalin said with a smirk.

Fili gave him a look and looked around, but no one could hear them. "I'll come get it tonight."

They both looked when Odin stood and started pacing impatiently in front of the drawbridge. Fili sighed, and looked to Dwalin, who understood. "Duty calls?" Fili said.

"Then I'll take my leave." He bowed to Fili, who returned it. "I'll be seeing you, Little Prince."

Fili felt a chill go through him at the pet name, and Dwalin turned and left. He turned his attention to Odin. He took a deep breath, and tried to put on his most professional expression. He walked over halfway down the stairs before speaking.

"Odin, I presume?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Fili, son of Vili, at your service." He bowed, but Odin waved him off.

"Yeah, yeah. At your's, and so forth. So you're the prince around here?"

"I'm the heir, yes."

"Oh, that's right, the King is your uncle, so you're like half-prince, huh?"

Fili wasn't quite sure how to respond. It was obviously offensive, but Fili tried to suppress his want to fly off the handle. "I don't think it's possible to be a half-prince."

"Hmm... probably not. I guess you still get a whole throne, and a whole kingdom, so you could be a whole prince."

"Are there no such things as manners in the Ivory Hills?"

"There is a such thing, Fili, son of Vili", He spoke with a venom in his voice. "As class, and that is all that matters."

"You believe a dwarf lower than you based on his social standing?"

"Do you not?"

"Not at all."

"Hm. Some king you'll make one day. Won't even be able to tell the difference between a commoner and a noble."

"That is no measurement of someone's self worth."

"Oh please, don't give me your righteous king dribble."

"I was sent here to show you around our kingdom, and provide you with company. If you would like to do that, we can. If you would prefer to stand here and insult me, I'll go."

"Oh alright. Let's just blame cultural differences. I'd love to see your treasury."

Fili sighed. "Very well. Follow me."

As they walked up the steps, Fili dreaded his day. Babysitting, indeed. He strolled through the halls, when he passed citizens, they would bow to him and he would return it at least with a bow of his head.

"Why do you do that?" Odin asked finally, after about the third time.

"Do what?"

"Bow. You are a prince, you know?"

"I'm being polite."

"What you're being is undignified. These people are your subjects, not your friends."

Just as Fili was about to respond, Balin turned the corner in front of them. "Ah, Fili, my lad!" He said and greeted him with a warm smile. "How are you fairing on this beautiful morn?"

"Better for seeing you, my friend. Balin, allow me to introduce Odin, son of Ludin, a noble representative of the Ivory Hills."

"At your service." Balin bowed.

"Yes, are you quite finished? I'd like to see your treasury before the night is upon us."

Fili held his breath and bit his tongue. Balin simply smiled and shook his head. "I'd better be goin' anyway. Take care, Fili." He bowed again to Odin and started to go but then turned around. "Oh, and I'll send for Dwalin to meet you at the treasury. He has the key."

Fili couldn't hide his smile. "Thank you, Balin. Tell him we'll meet at once."

Balin bowed in agreement and headed on down the hall.

Fili led his not-so pleasant guest on through Erebor. He already hated him, and wished he would just go back where he'd come from. He found himself suddenly concerned about meet Dwalin. He wanted to see him, and was glad for the happenstance, but Odin was a much unwelcome addition to situation. If he were to be rude to Dwalin, Fili feared he might grow too angry to hold his kingly demeanor. Perhaps he could rush Dwalin away before it happened. Even though, he didn't ever want to rush Dwalin away from him. Just another reason to dislike his new acquaintance.

When they finally reached it, Dwalin was already standing there. He bowed to Fili, who returned it, almost just to annoy his accompaniment. "Dwalin, meet Odin, Son of Ludin."

Dwalin bowed low. "Dwalin, Captain of the Guard, at your service."

"Captain, huh? Are you here to open the treasury?"

"Aye."

"Get to it, then."

Fili clenched his fists, but watched silently as Dwalin unlocked that large, stone door, and pulled it open. Odin walked in and gasped. The treasure of Erebor was magnificent, and continuous. He stood at the edge of the stairs, looking from one way to another, his eyes almost glowing green with want.

"If I push him down the stairs, would you turn me in?" Fili whispered to Dwalin, who chuckled.

"Never."

Odin turned. He didn't hide the envious glow in his eyes. "I assume homage has been paid to my father?"

"That would be up to the king, though it's not common practice to pay homage to someone of lower status."

Odin's face went red at being so intentionally insulted. "I believe I've seen quite enough, half-prince."

Fili noticed the way Dwalin stood taller at the insult, and clenched his fists behind his back.

"Ill show myself back. Thank you." He shoved by Fili, who was trying hard not to laugh at him. He stomped away, and they could still hear his loud footsteps even after he'd turned the corner.

"He's gonna get lost." Dwalin said, as he swung the huge door closed and locked it tight.

"Not my problem, anymore."

"I'm afraid it is."

Fili sighed. He was right, of course. He couldn't very well let him walk off with no knowledge of where he was going. He'd be far more upset by the time he did return to his father, though Fili was sure he had plenty to tell him already.

"I'd better go, then."

Dwalin nodded. "Aye, maybe you can smooth is over with junior."

Fili rolled his eyes. "Maybe."

Dwalin walked over, and placed a small kiss on his forehead. "Go on. We'll see each other tonight."

Fili pulled himself away and ran after Odin. He easily caught up with him.

"Odin, wait."

He didn't stopped. Fili quickened his pace and walked beside him. "Odin, I'm sorry for my words. I'm not trying to disrespect you."

Odin scoffed and said nothing.

"I'm trying to apologize."

"Don't. It doesn't matter. My father will hear of this."

"Would you like me to take you to him?"

"No. Take me to the drawbridge. I'll wait there until I'm able to leave this hole."

"As you wish."

They walked in silence for a moment, then finally, Odin spoke, but this time his tone had changed. He sounded more like a normal dwarf. "I apologize for my behavior. I was forced to come on this trip and I have projected that on you."

Fili was sincerely shocked at his sudden turn around. "Thank you, Odin. I accept."

They walked in another silence, but this one more comfortable.

Then Odin spoke again: "Are you spoken for, Prince of Erebor?"

"Spoken for? You mean courtship or engagement?"

"Either, I suppose."

"Well, I have neither. I only just came of age. My birthday is soon though."

"How old will you turn?"

"Sixty-eight."

"A fine age to start a courtship. My first was at sixty-six. It didn't last, but I'm glad I had it."

Fili felt kind of odd having this conversation, with who, not a minuet ago, he would've shoved down the stairs of the treasury without a second thought.

"I've never had one. I don't think I want one." He was thinking of Dwalin.

"Ah, you'll change your mind. Besides, sooner or later, you'll be given a consort. You're a prince."

Fili took a breath. He was right. Eventually, the house always chooses a consort for their heir if none is found in a reasonable time. He knew that Thorin wouldn't force him to be with someone he didn't care for, but he would at least have him try.

He also knew, though, he would never allow him to be with the dwarf he found himself falling for. There were too many things going against them.

Before Fili said another word, they arrived at the drawbridge, and to his surprise, Thorin and Ludin were already standing there, bidding each other farewell.

"Odin, my son!" Ludin said when he noticed the two. "Did you enjoy your time with Prince Fili?"

"I did." He said simply and Fili was sincerely surprised. "He showed me your treasury. The stories of the wealth of Erebor do it no justice."

Thorin nodded. "Thank you, Odin. You're both welcome here whenever you'd like. I still wish you would join us for supper."

"No, no." Ludin said, politely, "We must be going if we hope to end our journey on time. Thank you, Thorin Oakenshield, for your time and hospitality, and you Fili, for looking after my son."

Fili nodded. "It was a pleasure to be of service."

They said a few more goodbyes, and finally were led out of the gates by the guards and stewards. When they were far enough away, Thorin turned. "Walk with me, Fili."

Fili did so. "What did you think of Odin?"

"Honestly?"

"Of course."

"I thought he was a spoiled, pretentious, pig headed brat."

Thorin laughed. "Is that so?"

"I suppose not by the end. He did apologize for what he'd said. I told him I accepted it."

"Good then. No harm done. They could be important allies for us."

Fili nodded.

"You seem tired, Fili, you should go get something to eat."

"I'm not hungry."

"I didn't ask."

Fili sighed. "As you wish."

Thorin placed a hand on his back, and stopped him at the top of the stairs. "What is troubling you?"

"Nothing now." Fili lied, "He just got under my skin a bit."

"Don't mind him. Odin's never known a hardship and it's caused him to be a bit jaded. Don't let him affect you."

"I'm trying not to."

"Go now. Eat, and feel better."

Fili bowed to his uncle, who returned it, just as low.

Fili walked through the halls. Thorin had told him to go eat, but he didn't want to. There was only one place he wanted to go. He made his way through the halls until he found himself at Dwalin's door. He wasn't sure if he should knock, but he didn't want to walk in uninvited. He sighed and lifted his arm.

"Won't do any good, lad."

He smiled and closed his eyes. He turned to see Dwalin standing there. "How did you know I was here?"

"I didn't. Yer uncle told me to find ya, and make sure you got yourself somethin' to eat. I was gonna get yer coat first. It's getting colder."

"Well... want to get some supper?"

Dwalin smiled. "Best be getting your coat, first." He walked over and opened his door. Fili followed him inside. It was just as they had left it, except the fire was nothing now but smoking embers, and the warm feeling had gone away. Dwalin grabbed his coat from the table and handed it to him. Fili thanked him, and put it on. They walked out, and Dwalin made sure his door was shut.

They walked together, through the halls, to the kitchen, and dining hall. Fili was smiling softly to himself, happy to be in the warrior dwarf's company.

"So how'd it go with your new friend?"

"He actually apologized. He was a little prick, but there's some good in there, I guess."

Dwalin laughed. "He'll learn one day that being that way doesn't get ya anythin'. Especially from those who don't have to listen."

They walked into the kitchen where Bombur was hard at work on some kind of stew. "Ah ha!" He said happily when they arrived. Fili smiled at him, but Dwalin looked around for potential hazards. Bombur was an excellent chef, but that didn't make him a safe one.

"Master Dwalin! Master Fili! Come to fill yer bellies with some of Bombur's delicacies have you?"

"Delicacies? Don't make me laugh."

Bombur laughed heartily at Dwalin's comment. "Then you, my dear Dwalin, will starve. How about it, Master Fili?"

"Master Bombur, you are an artist of supper, and a wizard of your craft. Master Dwalin would do well to remember."

"Ah ha!" Bombur immediately started rushing around grabbing ingredients and stoking his fire. "I shall make you a supper for kings, Master Fili! I have some slop that was meant for the hounds, but I suppose Master Dwalin would prefer it."

Fili laughed. "Make us the same, please, Master Bombur."

He bowed to the prince. "As you wish, Sire. I shall have it set in the dining hall in a half hour."

"Thank you. I expect the best."

"Nothing but, for you, Master Fili, and your tasteless companion, if you wish."

"I do." Fili laughed again.

"Say that to my ax." Dwalin said, but they all knew he was joking.

They made their way to out the door, and on the the dining hall, to await their supper. As the went, the silence was comfortable. Then, Fili suddenly stopped. They had found themselves at the balcony where they had their unpleasant meeting the night before.

Without a word, Fili walked out onto it. He made sure to stay back from the rail. Dwalin stood behind him, giving him space and time to do whatever it was he needed to. Fili took a deep breath and glanced over the edge. To the untrained eye, and he was sure to Dwalin, he was looking over thanking every god and ancestor he could that he had not fallen, that he was saved, and was wishing he'd never done such a stupid thing. In reality, though, in his own mind, he wanted to see if he was scared of it. If he would give a natural reaction of someone who had been yanked from the brink of death just one day earlier.

He wrapped his hands around the rail tightly and leaned over just enough to see the ground, now visible, with the fog lifted, in the light of the sun set.

It wasn't there. The fear. The rush. Nothing... and he knew, deep down, that the ledge didn't induce any more fear than standing where he was. He felt tears start to come up in his eyes as he stared down. Even after all that had happened. The fear of death. The fear of it all ending. The care for anything other than... Well, Dwalin, and that was as of only last night. It wasn't there.

What's wrong with me?

He couldn't understand where his light had gone. Where he had lost his eye for the good in the world, or himself?

With Dwalin standing right behind him. He felt as safe as he possibly could, and it didn't matter. He knew, also, deep down, that he was already in love with Dwalin. It was just a matter of the right time to make it seem normal he guessed, but it still wasn't there!

The sound of a bird flying overhead caused him to look up, and it broke his trance. He quickly wiped away his tears and took a deep breath, before turning.

Dwalin was standing, arms crossed, watching him. He didn't look at all like he thought Fili was going to jump and he was incredibly thankful for that. Maybe Dwalin understood a bit more than he thought.

"Ya alright, lad?"

Fili nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Dwalin nodded, and turned, staying just half a step in front of Fili as they walked the rest of the way to the dining hall. When they arrived, their dinner was still being brought out and sat up. They stayed by the door while they finished.

There was no one else in the dining hall. The massive, rectangular tables were empty, all except the far right corner which was being set up for them. It was late to be having supper. The torches were still lit, and the room glowed a brilliant orange. Fili had always liked it in there when it was empty. The high sculpted ceilings made the room feel so open, and comfortable.

When the dinner had been set, they sat down, and it was only then Fili noticed he hadn't eaten all day. Bombur really had made a king's supper. A whole chicken, made perfectly along with every vegetable, fruit, and bread you could imagine. Then, right in the middle was a cake, adorned with whipped cream and strawberries and it made Fili smile. Bombur knew it was his favorite.

They started eating in silence, and Fili was the first to speak: "You know what that our favorite noble asked me after he apologized to me?"

"What's that?"

"He asked if I was spoken for."

Dwalin looked at him, as if unsure of how to react.

Fili didn't want to sound like he was implying anything. "It was just a bit shocking. No one has ever asked me that before."

Dwalin let out a slight chuckle. "Perhaps ye caught 'is eye."

Fili visibly shuddered. "I could never be with someone so pompous."

"No?"

"Never."

"Even with what he has to offer?"

Fili looked at him, a bit hurt, but it was a fair question. "I'm the heir to Erebor. The greatest kingdom in Middle Earth. What would I have to care for what someone wants to offer me?"

"That's all yer family is going to caring about in yer consort."

Fili knew what he was getting at, and he was a bit annoyed with he would suggest something like that. He wanted to change the subject. They were having dinner together, he wanted it to be a good one. "It's getting colder. I hope it snows soon."

Dwalin went along with the change, and Fili was relieved. "I don't. Nothing but a mess, that."

Snow was one thing Fili did enjoy. Always had. Perhaps it was because he was born in winter. "Oh no. I disagree, Master Dwalin."

"Disagree all ya want. Still a mess."

Fili laughed. He was content. He'd nearly forgotten the balcony, and almost forgot that they were only sitting there as friends. He looked over at Dwalin, and till couldn't believe what had happened the night before. He felt a blush coming across his cheeks as he thought of it.

He looked over at Dwalin, and caught him staring. "What is it?"

"Nothin'... Just lookin'."

Fili really was blushing now. He sighed and looked over his plate at the half-eaten slice of cake. It was incredible. The best one he'd ever made, but Fili just couldn't think of finishing it.

"I'm guessing you'll be heading home after this." Dwalin said, taking a drink for his mug.

Fili didn't respond. He wasn't sure what he had really planned on doing, but he knew he didn't want to go home. He didn't want to impose, and invite himself back over to the warrior dwarf's home. Besides, he still hadn't registered the first time. He just kind of sat there and finished what was left in his own mug.

"Is that where you think I should go?"

Dwalin gave him a confused look. He sat for a moment, looking at him before speaking: "I'm no one to be telling you where you should be going, Master Fili."

"Maybe I just value your opinion."

Dwalin smiled. "Maybe you'd like some more coffee, then."

Fili returned his smile. "Maybe I would."

They stood, and started heading for the large doors when suddenly, a guard rushed in, almost running into them. "Captain, Your Majesty, come... there's been an accident."

"What's happened?" Dwalin said, and immediately started to follow.

They were going at a jog as the guard spoke. "You remember the noble dwarf, and his son... the one's who were here before. The son returned, beaten and bloody, says his father was killed by orcs on the road. He's in the Great Hall with the king."

"Orcs?" Dwalin said. "So close?"

"It's what he said, Sir. That's all I heard before I was ordered to fetch you."

Fili couldn't believe it. He felt so bad for Odin. A bit ago, he was glad to be rid of him forever, and now... he just felt horrible for thinking that way.

They ran into the Great Hall, and Thorin immediately addressed Dwalin. "Get a team together. Your best. I want these vial pests found, and dealt with."

"Yes, Sire." Dwalin turned, and without even looking at Fili rushed out

Fili turned, determined to follow, and go with him on the hunt, but Thorin spoke: "Fili! Not you."

"Why not?"

"I need you to tend to Odin. Have him mended, have a bath drawn. He's very shaken."

"Uncle, I'm not..."

"He asked for you. Just go talk to him, and make sure the preparations are made. I have to make sure this filth is taken care of." He had spoken, and he walked by. He noticed Odin, standing behind where Thorin had been.

He looked up at Fili. He was a bit taller than Fili, even though he was less fit. He had a red tinted hair, with a full beard that was braided with green emerald beads. He had deep blue eyes. A bit like Fili's only not as bright. His bright blue robes were stained and ripped. He was obviously exhausted.

Fili walked over. "Odin, are you alright?"

"I-I don't know."

"Come with me." He took Odin's hand and lead him to the bath house. He found a steward and ordered the bath be made ready, and medical supplies be brought down for him to use.

"It was so ... fast." Odin said as they walked.

"It's alright. You're safe now."

"Are you sure? What if they don't find them?"

"Dwalin is the bet tracker I know. He will."

Odin still had a worried expression on his face.

When they reached the bath house, Fili could see the steam rising. He opened the door, and was pleased to see everything had been made ready as he'd asked. There were fresh clothes laid out, and the supplies he'd asked for beside them.

"Where are you hurt?"

Odin looked around, but finally took his robe down from his chest to show what looks like a stab wound that had missed it's mark, leaving a large gash on his side. Fili quickly started to clean it.

"You're going to need stitches."

Odin winced as Fili gave the wound one more dab. He pulled out the twine and needle. He threaded it expertly, and Odin watched him. "What are you? A healer-prince, now?"

"My friend, Oin, taught me a thing or two. He's the real healer. I can patch this up, at least."

Odin had to grip the bench he was sitting on as Fili start, ad gently as he could.

"Are you alright? "

"I will be. Just do it. "

Fili did so, trying his best not to hurt him. He took it well, considering, and Fili was done quickly.

"Thank you." Odin said as he looked down.

"You're welcome. The bath is ready, and these clothes are for you. I suppose we could provide you with something else if these aren't to your liking."

Fili wasn't trying to be coy, or rude. He was sincerely attempting to accommodate his high-maintenance guest.

"These will be fine. Thank you."

Fili then bowed, and Odin actually returned it. He walked out into the hallway, and felt grateful for the moment. He walked over to another balcony, and looked out, not down, and wondered where Dwalin was. He was frustrated Thorin made him stay behind. He was capable of going with them, and could have helped. He also knew he wanted to be with him.

He tried to shake it off, and thought for a second it was probably a needed interruption. He was prepared to go back to Dwalin's for "coffee", yeah... they both knew. Not that he didn't want that. He did, but maybe he was getting caught up in something that wasn't exactly what he needed right now.

If they got caught, Dwalin would loose everything. Everyone would look down on him, if for nothing else, Fili's age. Let's not forget being Thorin's nephew. Oh, how would he ever be able to look at him again?

Fili felt anger rising in his chest. Why did he have to feel this way? He didn't ask for any of this. What if he didn't want to be prince? What if he just wanted to be Fili? Filli... a dwarf that could be with whoever he wanted... one who didn't have to deal with the constant back and forth of royal life? He felt very trapped. Trapped in his very own skin.

He stared out into the vastness. It was dark and he couldn't see to far. It reminded him of the night before...

He looked down, and saw the same kind of ledge of the balcony. He took a shaky breath, knowing, that if he were to climb onto it, Dwalin wouldn't be there to save him. Perhaps someone else would, but he simply couldn't stand that idea of that awkwardness. Still, he wanted to.

Something inside him kept saying that if he tempted it just enough, he would find his feeling again. He would reel back from the air, gripped with terror, and collapse onto the balcony just in time, with a will to live again... and if he didn't... well, he supposed it simply wouldn't matter then. He found himself staring down at the ledge, wondering if he was going to, even though he knew he shouldn't.

"Sire?"

He nearly jumped out of skin when the guard spoke to him. So much so the guard took a step back.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I didn't mean to startle you."

Fili took a deep breath. "No, no. It's alright. What is it?"

"The King would like to see you in the Great Hall."

Fili nodded. "Yes, thank you. Oh, um... have a room prepared for Odin, and stay here and wait for him. Make sure he is comfortable."

"Of course, Sir. Right away."

"Thank you."

He walked passed him, and headed quickly to the Great Hall, still trying to catch his breath. He placed a hand on his chest and felt his heart, even through his heavy coat. He shivered as a cold blast of air flew through from the opening of the balconies that lined the outside hall he was in. He felt completely rattled. He tried his best to compose himself before entering the Great Hall.

Thorin was standing there, Dwalin at his side.

"Where is Odin?"

"The bath house."

"Good. Come here."

Fili walked closer, and the three of them stood together. "Tell him what you told me." Thorin said to Dwalin.

"We found the cart, and remains of the battle, but... there were no orcs there, now or before. The signs aren't there. Makes no sense, what he told us."

"Wait... so he lied?"

Dwalin nodded. "He said there was seven or eight orcs out there, what attacked his father, and tried to kill him, but there are no tracks leading to or from it. Except his. He said he was able to slash one of 'em after it tried to gut him, but there's no blood trail. No blood at all actually. Except his, and maybe Ludin's. One thing he did say true, though, Ludin is dead, but his body was burned in a heap with the cart, so I can't say what did 'im in."

Fili looked up at Thorin, and back to Dwalin. "So then.. who killed Ludin, and who slashed Odin? I patched it up myself, someone tried to stab him."

Thorin took a deep breath. "Odin doesn't seem the type for murder."

"I can't argue with what I saw." Dwalin said, "And what I saw says the only ones out there were Ludin and Odin."

"And Ludin's dead." Fili said, anger bubbling inside him anew for Odin.

"Aye. We can't rule him out, Thorin, but we'll keep looking when there's light."

Thorin nodded to him, and dismissed him. He bowed to Thorin, and then to Fili. He made sure to make eye contact with him when he lifted, and then walked out.

"Uncle... if he.. if he killed him, we can't just let him stay here as a guest."

"And if he didn't?"

"The signs point to him."

"Yes... you're right. However... we'll just keep a watch on him for now. We'll keep a guard with him at all times. Tell him it's for his protection if he protests."

Fili nodded, though he would really prefer they just would just throw him in the dungeon where he belonged.

"See to it. Appoint someone you trust." Thorin placed a hand on his shoulder, "And then get some rest."

Fili bowed to his Uncle, and then left, trying to not show too much disapproval for Thorin's decision. To be honest, he didn't trust anyone as well as he wanted to in order to appoint them to such a task. Except Dwalin, but he refused. He really couldn't live with himself if something were to happen to him. He decided he would ask Dwalin to choose someone. Also, an excuse to go there.

He rushed through the halls, and found Dwalin, just about to go into his home. "Dwalin..." He said, and the older dwarf looked up. He smiled at him.

"Ya following me, lad?"

"Trying to." He walked closer to him, "I really do need your help with something. Thorin wants a dwarf I trust to keep I vigil on Odin. I want you to choose someone."

Dwalin nodded. "Aye, I can do that." He turned from his door, and started down the corridor. Fili followed. "I'll put Ori on it. He's become quite the soldier, and he's good at staying up late. I'd say it's something we can trust him with."

They walked down to the gate, where they found Ori walking around, looking rather bored.

"Ay, Ori! Come here, lad."

Ori rushed down. "Yes, sir. How can I be of service?"

"I need ya to go to the guest hall, find which room is Odin's. Yer job is to stay with him at all times. At least outside the room. If he leaves, you best go with him, understood?"

"Aye, Captain. I won't let you down."

"I know, and if he tries doing anything funny, you tell me, got me?"

"Aye, aye!" He bowed quickly and rushed off, and Fili could tell he felt proud to have such an assignment.

They started back for Dwalin's room, and on the way, Fili couldn't help but glance over at the balcony he had been at earlier. He felt a blush come back on his face when Dwalin noticed. "You won't be doing that again, will you, Master Fili?"

Fili didn't even pretend not to know what he was referring to. "I haven't, if that's what you mean."

Dwalin didn't respond. As they walked, Fili slowly started to notice they were not heading to Dwalin's home. Then, as if they had been magically placed there, they were in front of the door to his chambers.

"Dwalin..."

Dwalin held up his hand and gave him a sad smile. "I think it'd best if ya get some rest, Master Fili."

Fili knew he was trying to sound as professional as possible, being in the royal quarters. He felt a bit tricked and confused. There was so much he wanted to say, but he couldn't. He tried to think of a way to say it innocently, but couldn't. "Well, then..." Fili turned "Goodnight, then, Master Dwalin."

"I'll be seeing you tomorrow, lad." He bowed low to his prince, and made sure to make that same eye contact as he lifted. Fili quickly glanced, from side to side, and seeing no one, walked over, and placed a sweet kiss on his lips. He backed away quickly, but they were both smiling. It made Fili feel better that he'd kissed him. Perhaps he really was just thinking of what was best him.

"Until tomorrow, Your Majesty." He bowed to him again, and disappeared around the corner. Fili stared for a long time, before turning and heading inside. Perhaps, he should get some rest, everyone seemed to think he needed it...


	3. The Drawbridge

Chapter 3: The Drawbridge

As Fili lied in bed, he tossed and turned. No position seemed to be comfortable, and his mind wouldn't slow down. He wanted to rush into Odin's room and demand the turth. If he didn't kill his father, then he'd better start telling the truth about who did. He also wanted to go to Dwalin. He tried to think of reasonable excuses to, besides he simply missed him. He wondered if he was thinking of him...

He tried his best to shake it off, stop thinking, and go to sleep, but he just couldn't. He threw the huge comforter off of him, and stood. He grabbed is fur-line robe, and wrapped it around him. He slipped his boots on and left his room. He had no intention to go anywhere. He walked aimlessly. The breeze had gotten even colder and more violent, and he wondered if his wish of snow would come true.

He avoided the balconies, even though the thought haunted the back of his mind. He found himself standing atop the staircase that led to the drawbridge. He looked down at the magnificent wooden structure. It was beyond comprehension how massive, and heavy it was. He walked down the stairs slowly, wondering just how much force it would take for it to fall. Less than you would think, he assumed. It was a dangerous thing. Dangerous, and beautiful, like the balcony.

He walked over to it and placed his hand on it. He pushed a bit, and of course, it didn't budge.

He backed up to the very edge of the last stair. He looked up at it, finding that if it were to fall right then, and he did not move, he would be crushed by about ... six inches, he guessed. One step back, however. One half-second reaction to back up, would save his life... but he found himself wondering if he would. If he heard the ropes snap, and the chains shatter, and the whole massive structure just came tumbling down toward him, would he take that step back?

A part of him said it was ridiculous to even think of. Of course he would. Any sane dwarf would never allow a drawbridge, that would easily take five or six seconds to fall, crush him over a step backwards!

Then there was that other part of him, one whose voice was growing louder everyday, that wondered why it would matter anyway. Kili could be prince. He was better suited, anyway, or at least would be when he was older. Dwalin would certainly be better off without the massive secret they now carried. He was just so ... out of place, and perhaps it was this very drawbridge's job to correct that. What sane dwarf would rob it of it's duty? A drawbridge must lead a dull existence, why rob this one of being the one to end the life of Fili, son of Villi, Prince of Erebor?

"Nadad..?" He turned, knowing who was behind him, and the first thing he saw was Kili's smile. Fili simply returned it. Kili walked over to him, and looked up at the drawbridge.

"What are you looking at?" He asked him innocently. Fili envied it so.

"Nothing."

"What are you doing down here then?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I was just going back to bed... I was... Um, out."

Fili gave his younger brother a look, but didn't press it. If Filli was allowed to have secrets, Kili could, too. "There's where we both need to go." Kili look relieved, and turned, but Fili turned him back around by the arm, and looked right into his hazel eyes. "And how about we stay there?"

Kili gave a nervous laugh. "You worry too much."

"And you're too fleeting."

They started walking up the stairs together, towards the Royal Quarters. "What's wrong with that?"

"You have to be serious, sometimes."

"Yes, but unlike you, I know you don't have to be serious all the time."

"Please, you're never serious."

"I can be if I need to be."

Fili smiled and knew his brother was being truthful, but he felt the urge to be difficult, feeling he deserved some kind of punishment for being caught out, late at night. "You sure about that?"

"Oh, don't be that way." Kili knew him too well.

They made it to Kili's room first. He turned and without hesitation, hugged his brother, then touched their foreheads together for a moment, and said: "Don't worry so much, Nadad..." With that, he turned and disappeared in to his room.

Fili took a deep breath, and headed back to his room. He felt like he could sleep now, in fact, he felt his boots dragging as he walked. When finally made it back to his bed, he fell into it. He managed to kick his boots off, but his robe was so comfortable, he snuggled into it and drifted into an usually comfortable sleep.

...

When the morning came the temperature had dropped yet, Fili found himself shivering, wrapped in his robe and not his blankets. He didn't even try to make himself warmer, he simply got up and changed into fur-lined black boots, thick black pants, and long-sleeved white tunic, with a vest of fox-fur, for added warmth. His belt was a black leather, with diamonds. He grabbed his overcoat, and left his room, for once, feeling in the mood for breakfast, which he normally skipped.

He walked straight to the kitchen, making sure to check for snow, but there was none. Bombur was already hard at work, but instead of preparing breakfast, he was washing dishes, and cleaning up leftovers.

"Have I missed your breakfast, Master Bombur?"

"Have you missed mine? Yes, lad. I shall make you your own, however, if you'd like. Would only take a moment. I have everything ready still."

"I'd appreciate it. Not as big a meal as last night, though, please."

Bombur laughed. "One serving. Yes, Sir. Would you like that in the dining hall?"

"Don't bother. I'll stay in here, if that's alright with you."

"Absolutely, Sir." He rushed over to a small round table in the right corner of the room, and lit the candle on it and pulled the chair of for Fili. "Sit here, lad, and I'll start right away."

Fili did. He liked to watch Bombur in the kitchen. He really was like a wizard making a special brew. Fili didn't have to tell him what he liked. He knew. He always remembered everyone's favorites, and what they didn't want on their plate. An artist of supper, indeed.

"Was your supper to your liking?" Bombur asked, as he started the eggs over his roaring fire.

"Very much. Thank you, also for the cake."

"Ah, I knew you would enjoy that, Master Fili! Your favorite. I suppose that's the cake you would like for your birthday celebration?"

"Oh, yes. That would be wonderful. A large one! As tall as you can make it!"

Bombur laughed. "Oh, I will not disappoint you, Sire! That largest cake with a whole barrel of strawberries on top!"

"If you won't be eatin' them all before the get there." They both turned at the sound of Dwalin's voice, who had obviously just returned from his trip back to the sit of the late Ludin's murder. He was still wearing his arm guards, and the way they accented his arms made Fili blush a bit.

"Oh, Master Fili, do tell me you won't be allowing him at your birthday celebration?"

"If I uninvited him, can I have an extra layer on my cake?"

"Haha! Two!"

Dwalin sat across from Fili, who gave him a sympathetic, sarcastic shrug. "Looks like you're uninvited."

Dwalin just smiled at him, but it faded quickly.

"Did you find something?"

"Nothin' we didn't know last night. Balin is making a full report to your uncle."

"And Odin?"

"Last I heard, he was shut up in 'is room. Ori said he hadn't left since last night, when we rotated his guard."

Then, Bombur walked over with a magnificent breakfast, of eggs, bacon, bread, and strawberry jam. He sat it in front of Fili with a smile then turned to Dwalin. "Would you be wanting that slop now?"

"Ale."

"Slop, it is." Bombur said, but walked over and poured him a full pint mug, and gave it to him with a wink.

He drank it as Fili ate. He started unlacing his arm guards, and Fili couldn't help but stare. He hoped the light of the candle would hide his eyes, but Dwalin didn't look down, anyway. He sat them on table, and rubbed his wrists. He looked over to Fili, who quickly averted his eyes back to his plate. He was only half finished, but he didn't feel right being the only one in the room eating. He pushed the plate away from him.

"Bombur, everything is perfect, but I'm afraid I can't finish another bite."

"Thank you, Master Fili. Come back whenever you need Ol' Bombur to whip you up something."

"Of course." He bowed to him, and Dwalin stood with him. "Come with me." He said to Dwalin, "Let's check on Odin."

Dwalin nodded and followed him out, carrying his arm guards at his side. "Tell me, Master Dwalin... do you think Odin... did that?"

"Aye, that's what it's looking like. Nothing fits with the story he told."

Fili took a deep breath as they reached his room. The guard stood, ever present, at the door. "Any word from Odin?" Dwalin asked him.

"No, Sir. I thought about checkin', but I didn't think it my place."

"You've done well." Fili said with a smile, and then knocked loudly on the door. "Odin?"

Nothing. Silence.

He looked over to Dwalin, who furrowed his brow, and leaned down to try and hear better.

Fili knocked again. Nothing.

"Odin?" He said with a third knock. "We're coming in."

He went to open the door, but Dwalin stopped his hand, and backed him up gently by his shoulder. He stepped in front of him, just before the door. The guard and Fili stood, side by side right behind him.

Dwalin turned the knob and swung the door open. There, just as if nothing was wrong, Odin stood. Completely dressed and ready for the day. He smiled sweetly at the three of them.

"Yes?" He said in a monotone voice, "Is something wrong?"

Fili pushed passed Dwalin and stared at Odin. "Why didn't you answer us?"

"When?"

"Just now. I knocked three times and called out to you."

"Oh. Must have missed it."

Fili turned and looked at Dwalin, with sincere shock and confusion. Dwalin stepped forward. Fili could tell he was trying to stay in between he and Odin.

"Oh!" Odin said when he noticed Dwalin, "Captain, I presume?"

"Aye." Dwalin was eyeing him. They all were. There was no way he hadn't heard them. Did he expect them to believe that?

"What have you found out of my father's death?"

"I'd actually like to speak with ya about that."

"Very good. I will see you in the Great Hall momentarily."

Fili felt his fists clench at his arrogant tone toward Dwalin. He took a step forward, but Dwalin put his hand up. "Very good, Master Odin." He said, and bowed. He led Fili out and shut the door. He turned to the guard. "Make sure he's in the Great Hall right away."

"Certainly, Sir."

He started walking and Fili followed him. They didn't say anything. Fili was still fuming about his tone, and the way Dwalin had stopped him. He heard Dwalin chuckle, and he could've blew his top right there.

"What can you possibly find funny about this?"

"That look on yer face."

Fili suddenly felt self conscious. "What look?"

"That angry look. Doesn't look right on you."

Fili turned his face, and found himself blushing a bit. He had to resist the urge to kiss him, and found himself feeling all the more frustrated that he couldn't.

By the time they'd reached the Great Hall, Fili was significantly angry at the world, but it was all being directed toward Odin. He practically stomped in, and Thorin immediately noticed his demeanor.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"I'm fine. Did you speak with Balin?"

"Yes, he told me all I need to know."

"He's a mad man, Uncle... He..." He could tell by the way Thorin looked up that Odin had walked in. He turned and by the sly smile on Odin's face, he knew he hadn't heard him. Dwalin stood tall beside Fili, and Thorin stood atop a small platform, three stairs above where Fili and Dwalin stood, as Odin walked up.

"What have you learned of my father?" He sounded so demanding, Fili couldn't believe it.

"Odin..." Thorin started, and Fili could tell he was trying to think of the right words, "It's obvious, from the evidence, that you have not been truthful with us about what happened to your father."

"What are you saying?"

"There were no orcs." Dwalin chimed in, "The signs aren't there."

"We need you to tell us the truth, Odin." Thorin said. "Otherwise, we will have no choice but to charge you with this crime."

Odin didn't look surprised, frightened, or anything in between. His was blank and emotionless. It made Fili shudder, and made him feel good that he was standing so close to Dwalin, and Thorin. "Whatever do you mean? Are you suggesting that I killed my father?"

"Based on what I saw? Aye, I am."

Fili was actually a bit surprised, but he knew, at least when it came to official matters, Dwalin had no problems speaking his mind. It had to be said, and he had decided it was his duty to say it.

"Oh, are you Captain?" Odin smiled at him, but it was hollow and faked. "Well, in that case, I supposed I have no choice but to exercise my right to a trial by my own people." He said it almost cheerfully, but with a hint of malice.

Fili looked to Thorin. It was true that he had the right. It was a custom that when a dwarf be accused of a crime in a kingdom outside his own, particularly a noble, that he had the right for representation, and even complete transfer of the trial to the hands of his own monarchy, depending on the nature of the crime. Thorin stared down at him, and Fili couldn't believe someone could take a glare like that with literally no reaction in his eyes.

"Very well." Thorin said, finally. "I'll make the arrangements for a messenger to be set forth for The Ivory Hills, and we will await word."

"And in the meantime..." Odin said. His pride had no end, and that tone he had about him, to Fili, was grinding. "Am I guest or prisoner?"

"Neither." Thorin said, without much thought. "I saw have a more ... appropriate room prepared, and there you will remain until word for the Ivory Hills has returned, guarded, of course."

Odin made absolutely no difference in expression. "Very well. May I go to my other room, and collect my belongings, Your Majesty?" He spoke as if he were have a completely normal conversation. He acted in no way like Fili would expect from someone being accused of killing their father. Of course, he had never really denied it, once his lies were called out.

Thorin looked to the Great Hall door, and checked which guards were standing there. "Ori." Ori jumped at his name and rushed down. He stopped in front of Thorin, and bowed. "Go with him. Escort him to the west wing when he has finished."

It was then Fili knew what he'd meant by a "more appropriate room". There was a room in the west wing that was just comfortable enough for any guest, except for the fact that it had no window. Fili found himself learning from this. Thorin truly was a great king. Odin would be nothing more than a comfortable prisoner, and that would keep him satisfied enough until his people either took over, or sent representation.

Odin did not bow to anyone, even Thorin, and walked out of the room, but he was neither rushed nor slow, in fact, Fili saw it more as a stroll.

As soon as the large, golden doors of the Great Hall closed, Fili let out a visible shudder.

"Ya and me both, lad.''

"Dwalin, I want you to go to the Ivory Hills. I don't want to trust anyone else with something like this."

Fili whipped around just in time to see Dwalin bow to him. "Of course. I'll see it done." As he walked out he gave Fili a look that he couldn't exactly read. When the doors closed again, Thorin walked over to Fili and gave him a serious look. "I want you to stay far away from him while he's here, do you understand?"

"Why do you say so?"

"When he first returned from... whatever happened on the road, the first words he said were of you. He wanted to know where you were and if you could come. Then, I thought nothing of it. Now, it concerns me, and I wanted to tell you myself that I don't want you anywhere near him during his time here."

Fili gave him a grave look, and nodded.

"Now go." Thorin said, and placed a loving hand on his shoulder, "I have letters to write."

Fili nodded, and quickly headed out to find Dwalin, although he wasn't quite sure where he'd be. He had no clue how far away the Ivory Hills were, or how dangerous the rode was. He knew Dwalin could handle himself, but really, that wasn't his fear.

That darker part of his mind was telling him, that the time would cause Dwalin to forget, or come to his senses, and it would all be over by the time he returned, or worse, if he didn't. He felt an urgent need to talk to him, and find out what was going through his mind. He didn't like this shaky ground, anyway, and he didn't want to wonder the entire time he was gone.

He started heading for Dwalin's home, but something told him he wasn't there. He stopped suddenly when he was just above the drawbridge, because he heard Dwalin's voice in the distance. He listened and heard it again. It was coming from below. He looked to his left, and saw a balcony. He rushed over, not thinking, and peered over the side quickly. He did see Dwalin, standing by guards, doing something around the stables, but the distance hit Fili so much he nearly gasped, as he found himself peering over the side of the balcony, again, entranced.

He wasn't looking at Dwalin, he was looking straight down, to the ground below. Thoughts flew through his mind. The haunting ones. The feeling of the wind through his hair, as he plummeted to the stone below. That shock to the heart as soon as his boots would leave the ledge. The sight of the balcony growing smaller, and smaller above him as he waited, patient and calm, for the sudden stop. A final end. They all rushed so suddenly, Fili found himself gripping the rail. He found he had to peel his hands free, and his eyes never left the ground below , until his feet had carried himself far enough back to obstruct the view. He blinked several times, and had to shake his head to rid himself of the lingering images.

He turned and headed down to the drawbridge. It was down, as he walked out onto it, he found it far less... magnificent than he had the night before. He walked over to Dwalin, who was preparing saddlebags for the ponies. There were two guardsmen on either side of him. One was Ori, and he was unfamiliar with the other, but he was pretty sure his name was Twain.

"How far are the Ivory Hills?" He asked Dwalin, almost completely ignoring the others.

"Two days there, at a good pace, if the weather holds out."

Fili looked down. This meant he would be gone at least four days, maybe a bit more if things were held up at their destination. It wasn't a long time by any other standard than Fili's mind. That was plenty of time to be forgotten, especially him. "When do you go?"

Dwalin looked up, and checked the position of the sun. "Probably too late in the day to go now. We wouldn't be making it to far before we lost the sun. So, I say first light, as long as your uncle doesn't say otherwise." He finished placing the last saddlebag in the pile, and looked to Ori. "Go tell the king we leave at dawn, and makes sure that's alright with him. Tell me what he says."

Ori bowed quickly, and rushed off. Twain left behind him. Dwalin started to walk inside, but Fili stopped him. "Master Dwalin..." He took a deep breath, "May I come see you tonight, and speak with you about..?" He couldn't think of what to call it. He found himself feeling nervous. Dwalin had given up the opportunity the night before, and that was still making Fili's easily troubled mind wonder.

"Of course ya can." He placed a hand on his shoulder, that to anyone else would look friendly, but Fili could tell by the way he ran his hand down his arm as he dropped it, that it was an attempt at being close.

Fili gave him a small smile, and they started walking back, to find Ori, and make sure Thorin was satisfied with the trip being held off for first light. They walked close together, almost close enough for Fili to want to move away from him, in fear it may seem odd, but as the made their way up the stairs, he decided he didn't really care.

Ori found them first, at the top of the drawbridge steps, and informed them that the king had said it was fine, but to make haste when they left, for he did not want Odin in Erebor any longer than he had to be.

As they took leave of him, the drawbridge was being lifted, and Fili found himself staring again. Dwalin stood beside him, and they watched it come up together. Once it clicked into place, Fili was released from his gaze, and found himself confused about why they were just standing there. He turned quickly, and started walking, embarrassed.

"What is it?" Dwalin said, following behind him. This time, they walked a decent distance apart, and Fili was trying not to let his demeanor give anything away.

"It's nothing... You don't want to know."

"What if I do?"

Fili sighed , and found himself a bit perturbed by the question, not wanting to reveal something so dark, and personal. Although, Dwalin was the only dwarf who could even come close to understanding, given their encounter on the balcony, so he decided he would open up, yet again, to the seemingly gruff dwarf, who had captivated him for so long. "Did you know, Master Dwalin, that if you stand at the bottom of the staircase in front of the drawbridge, and it were to fall, you would be one step between life and death?"

Dwalin gave him a look, but Fili could tell he was really trying to understand his meaning. "I've never looked at it, no."

"It just seems so... easy. So fragile. Like the..." he had to trail off, realizing then just how open he was being, but when he looked over and saw the older dwarf listening, really listening, he continued: "Like the balcony..."

Dwalin stopped, and turned to him. It was then Fili noticed that they were outside Dwalin's door. He looked down at him thoughtfully, but said nothing, turned and opened his door.

Dwalin immediately started fixing a fire, and Fili sat down on the chair, and watched him. He built the fires expertly and it was only a moment before he was placing large pieces of wood, and Fili was hearing that familiar, calming crackle. He watched as Dwalin walked into the pantry with his kettle, and prepared it with coffee. He walked back in, placed it above the growing fire, and sat down.

Fili took a breath to speak, but Dwalin beat him to it. "Fili..." He immediately felt warm, and intimate with the subtraction of 'Master' from his name, "Will ya promise me somethin'? Before I go?"

"Of course." Fili leaned closer to him, but Dwalin's face was grave.

"I want ya to promise me that ya won't be doin' anythin' like I found ya doing the other night. Standing on the balcony like that..."

Fili felt that same level of humiliation flood over him, and turned as away as he could while sitting in the chair. He knew he was blushing brightly, and he hoped the firelight wouldn't betray him, and show it too much. He wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to tell him that he, of course, promised. In fact, he would swear off balconies for the whole time he was away, but that darker part of him spoke up again, and told him that he knew better than to say he wouldn't go back out there, and not to lie to him.

"And what if I say that I can't promise that?"

Dwalin gave him a look with a hint of hurt. "Why?"

Fili sighed deeply and looked up at the ceiling. "I ... I don't know. I don't want to lie to you."

"The next time ya might not be so lucky, and I..." He trailed off. Fili looked down at him. "I don't want anythin' happenin' to ya. I won't be there to pull ya back, and even if ya don't seem to mind if ya fall... I do."

Fili felt his heart break. Selfishly, he had never thought about how it would affect others if his tendencies ever turned into real action. He knew there would be sadness, there is with any loss, but he never thought it would be something they couldn't deal with. Now, looking at Dwalin, he felt guilty. Guilty that he had done, and thought those things, and that he still did, and knew he still would, even after this.

"Well..." Fili said, trying not to let his emotion show in his voice. "If you promise that, may I ask a promise in return?"

Dwalin looked up, but said nothing.

"Will you promise... not to forget about me? That when you get back, you'll still ... look at me the way you do."

Dwalin leaned over and placed one of his hands on Fili's. "I'd never forget about ya, Fili."

Fili couldn't help himself. He leaped over, and ended up, half standing, leaning down and kissing Dwalin passionately. Dwalin pulled him down into his lap, and deepened the kiss. Fili adjusted himself, as they kissed, uncomfortably at first, but finally, he managed to swing both of his legs over the arm of the chair, and sit sideways on Dwalin's leg.

He broke the kiss and rested his head on Dwalin's shoulder. Dwalin placed his chin on the top of Fili's head, and it made him feel completely held, and comfortable.

"I don't want you to go." Fili confessed.

"I 'ave to."

"I know that."

"I'll be back. I promise." He started stroking his hair, slowly twisting one of his braids around his finger. "And when I do... maybe I'll talk to yer uncle. Ask him..."

Fili looked up quickly, causing the braid to tighten around Dwalin's finger, and pull a bit. He winced and Dwalin untwisted it. "Dwalin, if he doesn't approve, he'll never let us around each other again. I don't want that..." He looked back down.

Dwalin tilted his head back up by his chin. "We can't be sneakin' around forever. Eventually, we're gonna get caught, and that would be a lot worse than tryin' to talk to 'im."

Fili looked back down without a word, and snuggled back into his chest. He knew he was right. Eventually, they'd be found out. Of course, it could end up being just as bad if Dwalin spoke to Thorin, and he took offense to the question. Dwalin was much older than Fili, and a close friend of Thorin's. He was also Captain of the Guard, but that didn't change the fact that he was, technically, a commoner. They had nothing to speak for their relationship except an overwhelming desire to be together, and that had appeared out of nowhere, a mere two days ago.

"You never promised." Dwalin said suddenly.

"Neither did you."

Dwalin leaned down, and made sure is breath brushed over Fili's ear as he whispered: "I promise I'll never forget ya... Never." He placed small kisses on his temple and the top of his ear, making him shiver. "Yer turn." He whispered, and then backed away from his ear so he could speak without distraction.

He looked into his eyes, and even though he wasn't quite sure he was telling the truth, he said: "I promise I won't stand on the balcony or anything like that." He placed a loving kiss on his lips, "At least not until you're there to catch me." Dwalin kissed him this time, and made it deep, and lingering. Fili found himself moving around again, and as soon as he was straddling his lover, the kettle started whistling behind him. He huffed in frustration, but Dwalin just laughed.

He climbed off of him, and slumped into the other chair. Dwalin stoked the fire, added some more wood, and filled their mugs with freshly made coffee. He handed him his mug and took his spot back in his chair, but Fili was determined for the closeness. He walked over, coffee in hand, and, with much difficulty to not spill his coffee, got back on his lap like he had been before.

Dwalin rested his mug on Fili's knee, and buried his face in his hair. Fili sipped his, and found himself wishing the moment would last forever.

They sat together drinking their coffee, in the sweet silence they'd learn to share together. Dwalin sat his cup on the table before it was empty, and wrapped both of his arms around Fili's torso. Fili was so content, in the warmth of the fire, and wrapped in Dwalin's arms, he didn't notice himself drifting to sleep, until Dwalin gently took his mug from his hands, and placed it on the table.

"I'm sorry." He said sleepily.

Dwalin didn't say anything, and tucked one arm under his knees, and the other around his shoulders. He stood with such an ease, Fili didn't even bother wrapping his arms around him. He felt perfectly secure. He walked into the bedroom, and laid him on the bed. He walked to the foot, and slowly started pulling his boots off.

"You don't have to do that." He said, but he had no energy to stop him.

Dwalin helped him down to his pants, and tunic, then walked back into the other room to douse the fire, and placed the metal cage in front of it, to keep what was left of it contained, and then changed himself, as Fili watched him. He climbed into bed, and Fili immediately pressed to his chest. Dwalin held hi tightly, pulling the blankets over them, taking special care it was up to Fili's shoulder.

"I don't want you to go..." He said again, trying to fight it, but slipping back into sleep.

Dwalin just stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head. "I know..."

"You have to come back for my birthday..."

Dwalin knew he was speaking from a dreamy state, but he smiled. "Thought I was uninvited."

Fili tightened his grip around his waist. "Never."

With another kiss, Dwalin settled them in for sleep. He rubbed his back gently, and laced their hands together. The last thing Fili remembered was a kiss being placed on his lips and hearing: "Sleep, Little Prince."


	4. Waiting

Chapter 4: Waiting

Fili awoke feeling warm and comfortable, he had his arms wrapped around this form that smelled of Dwalin, but as the sleep fell away from him, he realized it was hollow and shapeless, not breathing. He opened his eyes, and found the form he was holding to be Dwalin's large overcoat. He sat up quickly, and looked around. The home was empty, except for him, and there was dull golden light coming in from the window. He stood slowly, and walked into the living area. The fire was burning lowly. It had obviously been fixed not long ago. There was no sign of Dwalin, but based on the light outside, Fili knew he was already gone. He cursed himself for sleeping in, yet again, and missing his departure. He walked back into the bedroom, and dressed slowly.

He couldn't help but feel a bit abandoned. He knew that Dwalin was fulfilling a duty to Thorin, and an important one. In fact, Fili couldn't think of anyone better for the task. However, he felt very alone now, and he knew it wouldn't go away until Dwalin returned. He felt like he had already reverted back to the state before Dwalin had pulled him back from that balcony.

He looked at Dwalin's coat lying on the bed. It made him smile to think that he had left it for him, but at the same time, he worried. Winter was upon them, and everyday it was growing colder... and if it snowed... He cursed every wish he'd made for it. He changed, realizing he would have to go back to his room and do so again. Almost without thinking, he grabbed Dwalin's coat and slipped it on. It was too big for him. He had to clasp the sleeves with this fingers to keep them above his hands. He knew he must look ridiculous. He took it off, and held it for a moment before tossing it back onto the bed.

He searched the room for his own coat, not sure where it had ended up the night before. When he didn't find it in the bedroom, he looked through the rest of the home, even checking the pantry, which he knew was ludicrous. He placed his hands on hips and huffed. Where could it be? Then he turned toward the door, and stopped short, seeing his coat hanging properly on a hook by the door. Fili shook his head.

Get yourself together, Fili...

He put his coat on, and made sure that the fire was out completely. Then he slipped out, thankful that Dwalin's home was deep within the halls, and away from most everything. Unlike his room, which was in the middle of everything. He made his way there, running into no one he really knew by name except for some of the regular guards. He despised the way everyone straightened their posture, and greeted him so mechanically. Well, that wasn't really fair. Their greeting may have been automatic, but they were bright and sincere, for Fili was very well liked among his people.

He made it to his room, and changed. A red tunic with gold lining, and designs. Black pants and boots. He was feeling a bit ... well, he wasn't sure what it was that made him choose the black leather belt with a whole ruby adorning the buckle. He made sure that his braids were neat, and done, and then walked out. He wondered if he should get some breakfast, although he wasn't hungry at all. He hadn't been eating like he should, and he wondered if it was attributing to his new sluggish way.

"Nadad! There you are!" He turned and Kili was jogging up to him. "Come eat with me. We have been apart for days, it seems."

Fili smiled at him and decided he could at least try to eat. The brothers walked together, at first in silence, then Kili started: "Are you excited for your birthday celebration?"

"Master Bombur said he was making a special cake. I'm sure it will be wonderful."

"It would be, though I'm certain it will be riddled with strawberries." Kili made a face. Filli knew he didn't like strawberries.

"You can eat the cake without the strawberries."

"It's your cake, anyway, Nadad."

"It's for everyone. It's just being made because of my birthday."

"Oh, hush! Your nobility is sickening sometimes." But Fili knew he was teasing.

They walked into the kitchen, and was greeted heartily by Bombur, and had a pleasant, laughter filled breakfast in the kitchen. Just as they were finishing their last mugs of ale, Fili found himself thinking of their meeting the other night, and the more he recalled, the more he wondered what his little brother had been doing out, alone, walking by the drawbridge late at night. Of course Fili had been there, also, but he, also, wasn't sixty-three.

"So, are you going to tell me where you were last night?"

"When?" Kili said, but Fili knew that was his defense to being asked an awkward question. It gave him more time to think of an appropriate response.

"Last night, when we met at the drawbridge. Surely you remember?"

Kili knew he was calling him out on his defense. "Nowhere, really. Just... walking around."

"You're a bad liar, Nadadith."

Kili took a drink, and Fili found himself feeling kind of bad. He was struggling to think of something to say, and he looked sincerely worried. He hated to see that look on his brother's normally smiling face. "Fili..." He started, then had to pause again, "Can't we just... leave this as one of those things we don't have to talk about?" He gave a nervous laugh at the end.

Normally, Fili would never agree to such a thing, with it being so obviously shady, but given the recent situations he'd found himself in, if he had to request the same of Kili, he would certainly hope his brother would understand. "Fine." He said, trying his best to sound disapproving, "You just be careful, Nadith."

Kili smiled at his brother, and nodded. Fili saw him relax, but he wondered if he was making the right choice. He finished off his ale, and stood with a stretch. He had nowhere to go, but for some reason, he felt rushed, and restless. He gave a quick goodbye to Kili, and Bombur, and made his way out.

He wondered around for a bit, avoiding the drawbridge, and the balconies, just like he'd promised, and found himself, standing outside the Great Hall. There were servants bustling around, making flower arrangements of yellow roses, and cutting blue and yellow ribbon. He knew they were preparing for his birthday celebration, set to be held on his birthday, eight days from then. He watched them as they moved, thinking that it was going to be some grand event, considering they were already decorating. Of course, their birthdays always were, their mother made sure.

"Do you like it?" Thorin's voice was quiet, trying not to startle his nephew.

"Of course. I'm sure it will look beautiful." When he turned to look at his uncle, he couldn't help but notice the bags under his eyes. He looked very tired, and his posture showed it, too. "And you said I needed rest." He lifted his hand up and ran his thumb under Thorin's eye.

"I'll be alright. I'll retire early tonight. I had to attend to matters with Odin."

"What do you mean?"

"This morning he became very upset. The guard sent for Dwalin, but since he has already departed for the Ivory Hills" He said it as if Fili was unaware, "I attended him myself."

"What was he upset about? Did he finally realize what he's being accused of?"

"Well, no." Thorin kind of shook his head, and sounded as surprised as anyone would be. "He was upset because he couldn't tell the time for having no window, and also, he wanted to speak with you. When I told him that was out of the question, he became even more angry. I left him there to destroy the room..." He sighed and rubbed his tired looking eyes, "I'll have to have it repaired..."

"Why does he want to speak with me?"

"I asked him, but he said that was between the two of you. Nothing out of the ordinary happened when you were with him, am I correct?"

"Nothing besides him being rude. I'll admit I got rude back, but by the time he left, we had both apologized. When he returned from..." What was he even supposed to call it? "The road... he was very polite. Oddly so, but nothing more."

"He seems to think the two of you have something to talk about."

"Then I'll go see what he has to say."

"I don't think that's wise."

"I don't have to go alone."

"And if he won't speak to you with a witness?"

"Then he'll loose his chance. He might tell me something that will help our case against him, or maybe even prove his innocence, though I doubt that."

"I believe him to be dangerous, if not completely mad."

"I'll have Master Dw..." Fili trailed off, remembering then, that he could not have Dwalin go with him. "Or maybe you could."

Thorin looked at his nephew and sighed deeply, but he could see him giving in hesitantly. "I don't like this."

Fili started walking and Thorin followed. "Please, Uncle. I can tell by his hands, he's never even lifted a hammer, let alone a sword."

"Tell that to his father."

Fili wanted to scoff, but he was right. Unfit, or not, he had managed to lift a sword to his own father, and take his life. If he got the chance, who's to say he wouldn't do the same to Fili? As they walked, Thorin made sure the seethe of the small sword he always carried, was unhooked and ready. Fili also had a few daggers, tucked into his coat. They reached the door, and Thorin didn't knock before entering.

Odin was moving around the room fluidly, picking up all the things he had knocked down before. He smiled, and Thorin, but it grew immensely when he saw Fili behind him. "Your Majesty." He bowed to Thorin, "And your highness." He bowed even lower to Fili.

"You wanted to speak with me?" Fili said, trying not to sound as calm as possible, but Odin just simply gave him the creeps.

"Yes, Thank you. Your Majesty, if you would excuse us please."

Thorin was about to speak but Fili beat him to it: "Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of my Uncle. Also, he is our king, and you will not excuse him."

Odin gave Fili as smile, as if he were proud of him, and bowed yet again. "I beg your pardon, Majesties. No disrespect meant. To my embarrassment, though, I admit that this is a bit of a personal matter, and I would like to speak to Fili alone for privacy sake. Please."

Fili turned to Thorin, and could tell he had no intention of going anywhere. He decided to try to persuade Odin further to speak with Thorin in the room, but he felt that dark side of him tugging at his morbid curiosity. He turned back: "He can stand by the door, we'll go by the fireplace."

"I just couldn't say it with witness. You are, however, free to tell him as soon as you take leave, but I would really rather have the conversation in confidence."

This time, Fili walked over to Thorin, turned his back on Odin, and spoke low to him: "Stand just outside the door."

"No."

"This could be important."

"You said yourself that he was mad."

"I can handle him, Uncle, and you would hear. Let me do this."

Thorin gave him a look that reminded him of childhood. That fatherly stare as he fought over what to say in his mind. Fili admired the fact that it always seemed to be the perfect thing. Then he let out a loud sigh, half in defeat, half in an attempt to show Fili his disapproval. "Very well. Two minuets, and I'll be just outside." He turned without a word, and Fili could tell the way his boots hesitated at the door, and the guard outside had to close it.

He turned quickly, knowing Thorin would be prompt with his return, if not early. "What is it?"

"Please, sit."

"I prefer to stand. Thank you."

"Suit yourself." Odin walked over and stood at about arms-length to him.

"I trust wholeheartedly, that when my people hear of the misunderstanding..." Fili shuddered at the word, knowing what he was referring to, "That they will send the best of their officials to settle the matter, and knowing my innocence, I am confident that my name will be clear very soon."

"So, you're saying you are innocent? You didn't kill your father?"

"Oh, don't make this official, Master Fili. I said, this was personal."

Fili gave him a suspicious look. "What could you possibly need to speak personally with me about?"

"Well, the fact is..." He paused and for the first time, Fili saw contemplation on his face. "I know that we are close in age. You, sixty-eight, and myself, seventy. Well, given your birthday being close. When is it exactly?"

Fili didn't know if he should answer, but he wanted him to get to the point. "In eight days."

"Splendid." Odin gave him a smile, "My question to you, Prince Fili, is when my name has been cleared, and we have all this mess behind us, would you be willing to..." He paused but Fili felt like it was purposefully stalling, "Accept my hand in courtship?"

Fili felt all regal sensibility about him drop away like a bag of feed hitting a wooden stable floor. Confusion rushed over him, and he could feel his jaw agape, and his eyes wide, but he didn't really try to hide it. "What..?"

"I know it's sudden, but you were so kind to me. More kind than anyone else, and I have just grown a fondness." He smiled again, and Fili knew there was no hiding the new type of shudder that washed over him.

"You can't be serious..."

"Oh, but I am. Absolutely serious." He took a step toward Fili, but he backed up a matching distance.

"I'm not interested in that at all."

Fili saw the same spark of offense he had caused in him the day of their first meeting, and found himself wishing Thorin hadn't gone outside. "And why not? Why shouldn't you?"

"Well... besides the fact that you are on trail for murder, I am not looking for a courtship from anyone, and if I was, it certainly would not be from someone so rude, and arrogant as you. I prefer a dwarf that will see character before class."

Just as Odin started to speak, Thorin opened the door, and walked in, but that did not stop Odin's words, which now loud, and angry: "Character?! You speak of character, yet you judge mine before you have known it. I will not accept that answer, and deny it. We will speak again when my name is clear."

Thorin took a step toward Odin, angry at his tone, but Fili stepped in front of him. "You can not deny my answer. It is no, and that will not change. We have no need to speak again." He turned and left the room, with Thorin behind him.

As the door was being closed, they heard object fly into the walls, and a shrill yell from Odin.

"What did he say to you?" Thorin demanded, but Filli was still trying to wrap his mind around it.

Suddenly, he let out a nervous laugh, and looked at his uncle, a little amused. Thorin returned it with confusion, and stared intently at his nephew. "He asked me... for my hand in courtship?"

"He what?" Thorin's voice was pure shock, and Fili could only remember a few times he'd heard it that way.

"He told me he was sure his name would be cleared because he was innocent, and asked, once it was, if I would have his courtship."

The both looked over at the guard beside the door let a laugh escape, but quickly covered his mouth. Fili couldn't help himself, and had to cover his own mouth as he started to giggle. Thorin didn't look half as amused but, soon, Fili and the guard were giggling together so hard that it caused him to crack a smile. Finally Fili caught his breath and placed a friendly hand on the guard's shoulder before looking back to Thorin.

"Don't trouble yourself about it, Uncle. He's insane. I told him no, and I meant it."

"I don't want you coming around here until he's gone. Do you understand?"

"Yes. Gladly."

...

The days with Dwalin gone were a blur to Fili. He found himself often unable to sleep, and he would often walk the halls alone at night. By the fourth day, he had still kept his promise and stayed off the balconies, and even though he didn't promise, away from the drawbridge. He figured Dwalin had meant the same principal in the promise, and he wanted to keep it.

On the fifth night, however, he felt particularly alone, and that dark voice was unusually loud. He once again started roaming, in the dark of the night, staying to the inner halls, and away from the balconies, but he was drifting. It was cold, and the wind was almost howling. He begged the snow to stay at bay until Dwalin returned, which would be soon... he hoped. As a particularly heavy breeze whipped through the hall, he wished for his coat, which he had left in his room. Then he looked up and saw that he had roamed just around the corner from Dwalin's home.

He walked up to the door, and made no one was around before slipping in. He walked straight to his bed, and found his coat right where he had left it. He picked it up, and put it on. He was pleased to find it still smelled of Dwalin. He wrapped it around him tightly, causing it to overlap from how over sized it was. He lied down on the bed, turning his face into the pillow, and breathing in the scent. He turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling with his hands tucked inside Dwalin's coat. He sighed.

He missed him, and it was growing with each day. That dark voice in his mind kept telling him that something awful had happened and that he was never going to return, or perhaps he was taking his time, enjoying the distance between them. He shook his head and turned to his side, trying to shake the thoughts.

He then found himself thinking of the first night he, well, been lain in the bed he was now resting on, and it made his face grow warm. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying not to get worked up. He pulled his knees up and got a hold of himself. He felt comfortable. Like he belonged there, and that was incredibly rare for him. He felt suddenly like he could sleep, lying there in Dwalin's coat, among his blankets, and belongings. He closed his eyes, and drifted into a light-hearted sleep, wishing he had thought to go there days ago.

...

When Fili woke, a shiver took his instantly. He sat up, and the first thing he saw was his breath. He looked around unsure of where he was for a moment, but then as he started to recall the night, he cursed. Under Dwalin's coat, he was wearing nothing more than his boots, breeches, and robe. He had no clue what time it was, but the light through the window was still low, and thin. He rushed out, unaware he was still wrapped in Dwalin's coat. All he was thinking of was getting back and changing into something decent before someone saw him.

He rushed through the halls, but stopped short as he made it to outside hall. There was white powder, swirling around in the wind, being blown wistfully from the mounds of snow on the balconies. He rushed over, and stopped just before walking onto the snow, and balcony, gasping as he saw the world below them covered in a white blanket. It went on as far as he could see. It was aboslutely beautiful, and breathtaking. He placed a hand on his chest to steady his breathing, and it was then he noticed he was still wrapped in Dwalin's coat.

Then he gasped again. Dwalin's coat... Dwalin's coat! There was easily two feet of snow on the ground, and Dwalin was out there, and here Fili stood wrapped up in his coat when he easily had five more in his wardrobe.

Even though he hadn't asked for it, he felt horrible. He rushed, completely forgetting his attire, to the drawbridge, to see if Dwalin had returned. He rushed down the stairs and addressed the first guard he saw, who was a little taken aback by his outfit.

"Has Master Dwalin returned?"

"Um... No, Sir. Wouldn't be expecting him for a few more days with this kind of weather."

He let out an exasperated sigh, and placed his hands on his hips. He looked up and noticed the guard, doing his best not to, but staring at his clothes. HE realized again how ridiculous he must look, and he felt like a fool. "Um... Thank you..." He said quickly and rushed back up the stairs.

Just as he turned the corner to his room, he saw Kili standing there knocking on his door. He turned.

"Oh, there you are, Nadad. Master Bombur was look... What are you wearing?"

Fili shoved passed him and into his room. "Nothing. What does Master Bombur need?"

"I wouldn't call that nothing." Kili followed him inside. "You look like you just rolled out of bed." He was giggling to himself. "And where'd you get that coat? It's way too big for you."

Fili took it off quickly and tossed it on his bed. "I have to change. What did you need?"

Kili had suppressed his laugh, but not his smile. "Just come to the kitchen when you're decent." He turned and walked out shaking his head at his older brother.

Fili changed, and made sure his outfit was simple, and uninteresting. Tan pants, with matching boots, and a dark green tunic, tied with a simple brown leather belt with no jewels at all. He grabbed his own coat, though he seriously considered wearing Dwalin's regardless of the size. He walked out and headed for the kitchen, cursing himself, once again for being caught in that outfit.

When he arrived, Bombur and Kili were laughing together. Fili walked over and Kili looked him up and down. "Much better." He said.

"Master Fili, I was wondering what you'd be wanting for your birthday supper? It is in two days, you know?"

Fili laughed. "Yes, Master Bomber I know when my birthday is." He teased. "Just make whatever you'd like."

"Oh, that can't be done! 'Tis your day, Master Fili. You must have all your favorites."

"You know my favorites, don't you?"

"But of course! That does tell me which you'd like, though. Unless you'll be wanting all of 'em."

Kili giggled beside them.

"I wouldn't make you work so hard, Master Bombur."

"Whatever you want, Sire. Name it."

Fili tried to think of it, he really did, but his mind was so far away from food. It always was. Finally, he simply gave up. "How about you surprise me? I trust you wholeheartedly. "

Bombur smiled at the idea, and laughed in that way that always made Fili, and Killi, smile. "Consider it done. I won't disappoint you, Master Filli!"

Kili leaned in between them. "Can I just choose for him? I want some of those sweet rolls with the cinnamon!"

"Hush you!" Bombur said and waved at him. "Your birthday will be soon enough!"

Fili laughed at them. "Will you be having breakfast, Your Highnesses?"

"Oh!" Kili said "Yes, some of those sweet biscuits with the butter!" He closed his eyes and smiled, then opened them quickly. "Please!"

"No thank you, Master Bombur. I have business with Thorin."

"Yes, Sir, but you're not eating like you should, Master Fili! Ol' Bombur would know..." He waved the wooden spoon he was holding at him. "I'll be making you lunch."

Fili smiled at the concern and bowed. "And I'll be here to have it. Thank you."

He gave his brother and smile, and headed out, chuckling as Kili immediately started speaking of the biscuits, and Bombur scolded him for leaning all over his counter.

He walked to the Great Hall, but found Thorin was not there. He frowned. He walked out, and looked around for someone who may know where he was. He headed toward the library, remembering what he had said about the letters days earlier, even though Fili knew he was long done with them.

Once he found the library empty as well, he starting heading to the west wing. He wasn't quite sure what made him think to go there, but something in the back of his mind said to, at least, check. As he made it up the stairs and to the hallway where Odin was being kept, he noticed the dwarf stadning guard was the same one he had had his humorous encounter with days before.

He walked over to him, and he immediately stepped in front of the door. "My apologies and begging your pardon, Sire, but by order of the King, I'm afraid I must ask you to go. He does not want..."

"I know, and I understand... What was your name again?"

"Dywn, son of Tywn, Your Highness." He bowed.

"Master Dywn, I'm simply looking for my uncle. Have you seen him?"

"I haven't in a moment, but he was here earlier."

"What for?"

"I'm not sure what for, Sir. Not my job to know details, if you get my meaning. He spoke to Odin, and left. I'd say about half an hour ago."

"Thank you. Oh, and thank you also for helping me to make light of an otherwise unnerving situation."

He could tell Dywn wasn't sure what to say. "I'm begging your pardon for that, as well... I just found it amusing."

"It was."

"The likes of him, thinking he'd have a chance with a prince like yourself. Just made me laugh."

The compliment made him smile, and he was about to resopnd when Dwyn straightened up quickly, and he knew who had entered the hall. He turned and Thorin was striding toward him with a face Fili knew all to well. He was angry, and Fili knew why.

"I though I told you not to come here."

"I was looking for you."

"It doesn't matter what you were doing." He reached out, and took him by the arm, and started leading him down the hallway. Fili pulled just a bit, and Thorin released him.

"I wasn't going in there."

Thorin was silent, and Fili could see him trying to get control of his breathing. It was his way of simmering down. When he finally spoke again, they were walking down the stairs, and his tone was much softer. "I'm sorry. You know why I don't want you there. I don't have to explain it. What was it you needed to see me for?"

"Has there been any word from the Ivory Hills?"

"Dwalin hasn't returned, though I'm certain the snow has slowed them down."

Fili didn't respond. He looked out towards the balconies as they walked, happy that Thorin was in between him and the beautiful ledges. The snow made him cringe. He had changed his opinion of it very fast, and now he found himself agreeing with Dwalin. A mess, indeed.

Thorin stopped and looked down at his nephew. He gave him a soft smile. "Don't worry. He'll be gone soon enough."

"It wasn't really that. I was just..." He trailed off, and he found himself really wanting to talk to Thorin about his secret. He had always been able to talk to Thorin about anything, and it felt wrong to hold it from him, but he knew, deep down, that he wouldn't understand, and it would only serve to hurt himself, and Dwalin. He could never do that. "Just wondering."

Thorin smiled at him. "You should be happy, Fili. Your birthday is but days away, and I promise you it will be a grand celebration. I hear Bombur is making you a cake to rival weddings."

Fili smiled, and it was sincere. "I hope so."

"And you got what you wanted." Thorin said motioning to the balcony behind him, "You've always hoped for snow on your birthday."

Fili couldn't express how much he wished it had skipped this one. "Looks a bit like a mess this time." He confessed.

Thorin smiled at him. "Have you eaten?"

Why is everyone so concerned with how much I eat and sleep?

"Master Bombur said he was preparing lunch for me."

"Very good. I'll join you."

They walked toward the kitchen, and Fili felt so ... walled off, and secretive. Being this way to Thorin was new to him, and he didn't much care for it. He wanted to turn to him, and just spit everything out, and beg him to understand, but could he really take the chance that he wouldn't? Or even if he did, that didn't mean he would approve of it, or allow it. Thorin was regal through, and through, and though he was caring, and wise, he had a certain standard in the way things were to be done, and he had always held everyone, especially Fili, to those standards. Let alone, thanks to Odin, the subject was now a very touchy one.

No, it wasn't the time, and for now, Fili saw no risk in waiting. After all, Dwalin wasn't even there. Thinking this made Fili's heart ache for him. He took one more look at the snow before they disappeared into the kitchen.

...

Every morning and night after that, Fili watched for Dwalin to return from his window in his room. There was a better view of the road, but it just happened to be the very balcony he really needed to stay away from, so he didn't go there. The snow had not let up at all. In fact, Fili saw it flurrying almost constantly. He blamed every flake on his childish request for it, and with every moment Dwalin didn't return, he felt a sinking guilt in his chest.

The morning of his birthday, he awoke with a start to a frantic knock on his door. He stood, and threw on his robe, but when he opened his door. It was only Kili standing there, almost bouncing. "Ênâd-nurt gêdul!" (Happy Birthday) He yelled and practically leaped on him. Fili stumbled, but caught himself, and hugged his brother back. "Hurry! Change! Master Bombur is making sweet biscuits for a special breakfast, and don't say you're not hungry."

Oddly enough, Fili felt like he could go for some breakfast, but he had a matter to attend to first. "I'll meet you there. I need to see Thorin first."

"Fine, fine. Just hurry!" He started walking out of the room, beckoning him with his arm. "Oh!" He whipped around. "I forgot to tell you. Ori returned last night, he rode ahead to tell Thorin that Master Dwalin was escorting someone to speak with him about Odin, and he would be here sometime tomorrow. Maybe we'll be rid of that creep sooner than we though, huh?"

Fili just stared, letting what his brother said sink in. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Good thing, too. Well, see you soon." He turned and walked out.

Fili was frozen. He had a rush of mixed feelings flow through him. Dwalin was alright, and he was on his way back, would arrive tomorrow, in fact, and with someone who would hopefully take Odin far away. The again, the celebration of his birthday was mere hours away, and he wasn't going to be there. The one person Fili actually cared to see on his birthday wasn't going to be there. Just like that, he was dreading it. He would sooner stay locked away in his room than deal with polite pleasantries alone. Of course, even if he could be there, it wouldn't be like Fili wanted.

His feelings were starting to frustrate him, and he finally moved in a huff. It was his birthday, so he had an outfit prepared for him, like always. He walked over to his wardrobe, and pulled it out. He unfolded it on his bed and rolled his eyes. The pants, and boots were normal enough, black except their detail of white thread that swirled down them in an intricate design, but instead of a tunic, it was a cascading blue silk robe with the same swirling white markings that would obviously go down to his ankles. He immediately tossed it to the side.

He slipped on the pants and boots, actually liking them a lot. Then he opened his wardrobe, and dug through it until he came to a silk, white tunic. It had red designs on it that matched his pants well, and he put it on. He grabbed his belt with the large ruby in the center, and placed it tightly around his waist. Then he walked over, and put on a silver and ruby pendant his mother had given him for the birthday before. He sat down in front of the small mirror that adorned his wall, and started doing his braids, his hair smooth, and shining from his bath the night before. He replaced the beads he had with white, and red ones, and was satisfied with his job.

He finally made it out, and started walking to the kitchen. He had no reason to talk to Thorin now. He was just going to ask him if there had been word from Dwalin, using Thorin's suspicion of Odin to his advantage. The halls were bustling with citizens and servants, carrying things, moving furniture, and preparing all of Erebor, it seemed, for his celebration. They all greeted him happily with many good mornings, birthday wishes.

He finally made it to the kitchen, finding Kili, Bombur, and Ori.

"Ênâd-nurt gêdul, Master Fili!" Bombur yelled with that same plump grin he always gave, "Your breakfast awaits you." He motioned over to the table where Kili was sitting, already helping himself. He thanked him, and sat down across from his brother.

"You look nice." Kili said sincerely before sinking into another biscuit.

Fili just smiled at him and grabbed one of his own. They were still warm, and after the first bite, he knew he would eat a few.

"Did you speak to Thorin?"

"Didn't have to. You answered my question."

"Any meal other meal you would like must be had in the dining hall, I'm afraid." Bombur said, running around his kitchen, "I'll be starting your cake soon, and I must not be interrupted!"

"Of course, Master Bombur." Fili said smiling.

"And be sure to keep that one out of here, too!" He pointed at Kili with his spoon, "I can't work with his incessant gabbing!"

"I'm merely interested in your work, my dear Bombur." Kili chimed in, "What's so wrong with that?"

"You're merely interested in keeping me distracted! Finish your breakfast, and be gone with you! Bother me on your birthday!"

Fili laughed at the teasing, and Kili's fake hurt. He was happy for them, and how they were helping his mood, but as he ate, his mind was elsewhere. He thought of Dwalin, and was more than a little upset that would not be attending, and not only selfishly. He would be missing a grand feast, that only seldom comes, and it just felt wrong to Fili. If anyone deserved it, it was Dwalin, not him. He felt absolutely ridiculous having a party just for existing. It felt very unfair to him.

"Oh, Nadad..." Kili said between bites of his biscuit, "Don't look so glum. It's your birthday!"

Fili felt embarrassed that he had let his thoughts play on his face. "I'm not glum." He lied, "Just thinking."

"Well, don't. You have nothing to think about, and no troubles to have, and I'll make sure of it, today!"

Fili grinned at his brother. He had eaten two biscuits, but didn't think he could stomach another.

"Come!" Kili said, jumping up. "Let's leave our dear chef to make your cake, and we'll find someone else to bother."

"As it should be!" Bombur said without looking up from whatever he was stirring, "Keep that brother of yours in check, Master Fili."

"Always." He said, and followed Kili out.

The brothers made their way toward the Great Hall, but Fili wasn't exactly sure where his brother was leading him. Then, just in front of the large golden door, they found Thorin. He smiled lovingly at his nephews. "Ah, good morning." He bowed to them and they returned it. "Ênâd-nurt gêdul, Fili." He placed his hand on the back of his head, and placed their heads together for a moment. Fili smiled at him when he backed up, wishing he could feel as close to him, as he used to.

"Where are you two heading?"

"Outside." Kili answered for them, "I haven't felt the snow yet."

"You both need to dress warmer, but have fun. Today is a happy one. Enjoy it."

Then a guard walked up, and politely interjected their conversation, and said something to Thorin that Fili couldn't hear. Thorin looked up, and his expression had changed a bit, but Fili could tell he wasn't involving them. "Business as usual for me, however. Go get heavier coats before you go out." With that, he turned and followed the guard off.

"Come! I have coats we can wear." Kili turned quickly, but Fili stopped him.

"I have one. I'll meet you by the drawbridge."

Kili nodded to him and rushed off, visibly excited, and Fili couldn't help but feel his heart swell for his brother, and his carefree way. He walked quietly back to his room. He immediately grabbed Dwalin's coat on slipped it on over his. It fit better with his own under it, but he still had to pull the sleeves back a bit. He wrapped his arms around himself, in a vain attempt to feel like Dwalin was there with him. He took a deep breath, and dropped his arms. He wondered how he was going to stand one more night, especially the night of his birthday, away from that dark voice returned, and he found himself concerned that Dwalin may not keep his promise, and he may simply ignore him when he returns. He may be upset that he took his coat from his home, and wore it like it was his own.

Then Dwalin's voice crept into his thoughts. I promise I'll never forget ya... It clouded over the darker one, and Fili felt a warm feeling move over his heart.

Even from where ever he was, Fili felt, somewhere inside him, that Dwalin was sending him love, and good feelings on his birthday. Fili forgave him already for not being there, and all he wanted to do was stand outside the drawbridge and wait for him, but he knew he couldn't. He had to settle for having his coat wrapped around him, keeping him warm and releasing faint hints of his scent when he moved the right way. He guessed, for the time being, anyway, that would have to do.


	5. The Birthday Celebration

Chapter 5: The Birthday Celebration

As FIli walked down toward the drawbridge, he couldn't help but feel bad. He had promised he would stay away, and he had done well about keeping it. He knew that it would be down, and he would simply walk through it, but something about it just felt dishonest. He knew that once he stepped out on the structure, he would start having those dark thoughts. In fact, just imagining it in his mind, made them cloud his mind. He couldn't push the image of the large wooden slab tumbling to the ground above him. He felt his feet, even though he was walking, frozen in place, just watching, waiting for the impact, unable to move, or unwilling...

He shoved his hands in the pocket of Dwalin's coat, in an effort to shove the thoughts away. He stopped in place when he felt a cold... something touch his fingers in the left pocket. He stopped atop the drawbridge stairs, and pulled it out. It was a small, red, smooth rune stone. Fili ran his finger over the runes carved into it.

"Ukrati..." Fili read. It simply meant 'glory'.

He clasped his hand around it and held it to his chest.

"There you are!" Kili yelled from the middle of the massive staircase. "Come on! The snow is wondrous!"

Fili quickly slipped the stone back in his pocket, and headed down to his brother. Kili was absolutely correct. As soon as Fili stepped outside, he had to gasp. The mountains were lined with sparkling, white crystals, and the air was flurrying with flakes, either kicked up by the wind or falling from the sky, Fili wasn't sure. There was no sun, but he could tell where it was from the bright spot in the cloud cover. It was closing on mid-day.

Then he saw Kili move in the corner of his eye, but he knew he brother too well. He leaned back, and a snowball cascaded by his face, so close he felt the cold wind that rushed off of it. He turned and Kili was giggling, doing his best to make another before his brother had time to counter strike. Fili smiled brightly, loving his brother, and the snow. Forgetting for a moment, the grief it had caused him. He ran as Kili hummed another snowball, and it hit him in the right arm.

"Ha!" Kili yelled.

Fili turned, bent down and quickly scooped up two handfuls of snow. He pressed them together as Kili was grabbing his own ammunition. He threw it hard, aiming right for his brother's chest. Kili had just enough time to turn around, and the snow hit it's target, but right in the middle of his back. Kili turned, and without hesitation, let his own snowball fly from his hand. Fili ducked, and it flew over his head.

Fili kept leaning down, scooping up snow, and then backing up, and he found that he and his brother, both primed with fresh snowballs, were staring each other down, holding their fire for the moment.

"This one's coming for your head!" Kili yelled, side stepping slowly as if they were in a real battle, "You better give up now."

Fili mirrored his movements, packing his snowball in his hand, waiting for the right moment to strike. "Never. You never win this."

Kili was doing his best to scan the area, and aim his shot without Fili noticing, but Fili watched his eyes. Just as they froze, Fili moved. Kili swung his arm hard, and flung the snowball right at Fili's face. Fili slid down, like a baseball player stealing and base, and hummed his own.

Kili's flew about a foot over Fili's head, and Fili's connected perfectly right with Kili's left shoulder.

Kili grasped it as if he had been shot, and turned around, stomping the ground below him. He cursed in Khuzdul, and Fili stood quickly, arming himself, knowing better than to believe his brother would give up so easily. Kili turned, with a fire in his eyes, but a smile on his face. He started reaching down, and frantically heaving half snowballs at Fili.

He dodged them easily, and threw his, once again, connecting with his brother's chest. He ducked down, making a rather large, mean looking, snowball, and chucked it, without thought, as hard as he could. Fili ducked, and it missed him, but he stopped where he heard it connect with something. He turned quickly to see Thorin, standing with his hands on his hips, and snow falling from his chest.

Fili tried, he really did, but the giggle started in his throat and, soon, he was laughing. Thorin wiped the excess snow off of him, and Fili turned to see Kili hiding rather visibly behind a mound of snow, and Fili could tell he was covering his mouth, trying to stifle his laughter. When he figured he had himself under control, he stood and turned, but as soon as his eyes met Thorin's, he burst into more fits of giggles, and ducked back behind the snow mound.

Kili couldn't see, but Thorin shot a smirk at Fili.

Finally, Kili got up and rushed over, having to bite back his laughter. "I'm sorry, Uncle." He managed, "I didn't see you there."

Thorin just gave him that fatherly look, and turned back to Fili. "I just wanted to make sure you were enjoying your birthday, but I see you are." He shot Kili another look.

"Of course, Uncle."

"Very good, then. I'll be in the Great Hall seeing to the preparations." He gave his nephews a low bow, and they returned it. He turned and started walking, and the brothers waited until he was far enough away.

Fili turned with a bright smile on his face. "Did I say you never win at this? Guess I was wrong."

Kili threw his hands up and waved them as if clearing smoke from the air. "Oh Mahal, don't talk about it!"

"It was a good hit."

"I was aiming for you!"

"At least it didn't hit him in the head..."

Kili put his hands on the side of his head and shook it. Fili laughed at him, and placed his hand on his back. Kili turned to him, and smiled, then suddenly jumped on him, shoving him to the ground. The brothers tarted to laugh and wrestle around in the snow. Fili thought for a moment that it might ruin his clothes, but he didn't care. He was having fun, which was rare.

They rolled around, each of them gaining advantage over the other a few times. Finally, Fili managed to end up on top, holding his brother down by his wrists. They were both out of breath. "Give up?"

"Ok, ok. You win. Get off me, I'm getting soaked."

Fili stood and helped his brother up. They brushed the snow of themselves and each other.

"Where did you get this coat, Nadad? It can't be new."

"Oh..." Fili rushed to think of something that would make sense, "I just... found it in my wardrobe. It was just big enough to put on over mine."

"I don't really like it. It doesn't look good on you." Kili confessed. "Makes you look oddly shaped."

"Thanks..." Fili said sarcastically but Kili knew his comments wouldn't bother him. He looked over and noticed his younger brother shivering a bit. "Come on. Let's get cleaned up."

"And get some lunch!" Kili held his stomach as if he were starving.

Fili didn't really feel like lunch, besides he knew he would have a large dinner, and he knew if he hoped to eat anything then, he couldn't now. As they walked back up the massive staircase, the warmth rushed around them, ad it wasn't long into their journey to their rooms that Fili started to feel too warm. He slipped Dwalin's coat off and carried it over one arm. It was slightly damp, and Fili suddenly felt bad. He should have known better than to roll in the snow in a coat that didn't belong to him, but something told him Dwalin wouldn't mind. Still, he'd have it cleaned for him.

When they got to Kili's room, he turned to his brother. "I'm assuming you won't be coming to lunch."

"No. I'm not hungry. I'll be nearby, though."

Kili nodded to him, and walked to his room. He headed to his own, but thanks to the heaviness of Dwalin's coat, all he really had to do was tidy his braids. He went inside, and tossed Dwalin's coat on his bed, not really worried if seeped onto his sheets. He took his place in front of the mirror, and slowly and carefully, fixed his hair, replacing the matching beads. When he was satisfied with his job, he walked over to his window. He saw nothing but white, and he, once again, cursed his wish for snow. Maybe if he had left the weather to it's own, Dwalin would be there. If just he hadn't been so rushed for it.

He placed his hands on the glass shutters, and pushed them open. The cold air rushed in so quickly, Fili shivered. He placed his hands on the sill, and leaned out, in an effort to see the road better. Then that darker voice invaded his thoughts.

Look down.

He closed his eyes tightly, but didn't back away. He took a deep breath. He wanted to prove to himself that he could look out his own window without those thoughts taking him over. He wanted to show himself that it wasn't stronger than him. Yes, it was a part of him, but it didn't rule him.

Look down.

He opened his eyes and stared straight ahead. He knew he had to beat this. If he didn't, it was literally going to kill him one day. He tried to look in every direction, but down, trying to find something interesting enough to keep him from thinking of the ground, and the sheer distance between there and where he now stood...How easy it would be to just ... slip out. To loose himself in the air, and for that moment... that short time that it would take him to descend, he would have no care. No princely duty, no one to bow to, no one to answer for, no more outfits, and jewels, and riches being thrown at him, not more tradition, no more...

As he thought, he didn't notice, but suddenly his vision came into focus, and he was looking straight below him, staring, almost longingly, at the snow-covered ground below.

He tried desperately to pull his eyes away. If he had reacted the way he wanted, he would have jumped back from the window, but his body betrayed him, and just stood, frozen and staring. All kinds of sad, mournful thoughts flew his mind, and that darker part of him was almost trying to convince him to jump. It was telling him how much better off everyone would be. How they would be hurt, but only because they didn't understand, and eventually they would move on and Fili would be no more than a footnote in the histories. He didn't even want that.

He jumped so violently at the knock on his door, he almost tumbled out. He had to take a second to catch his breath, and close the window. He walked over and opened the door to see Thorin. Before Fili could even say anything, he pushed in and closed the door. As he turned to speak to him, but stopped when he saw his breath.

"It's cold in here." He said, and that was odd for Thorin. He normally enjoyed the cold more so than others. If he said it was cold, that it was cold.

"Sorry, I was just... looking out the window."

Thorin walked over and made sure it was closed and latched. Then turned back to Fili with that grave look he knew all too well.

"What's happened? " Fili asked before he had the chance to speak.

"It's Odin... He wants to see you. He knows today is your birthday."

Fili shuddered. "Well, I hate it for him. He gives me an odd feeling. I don't want to talk to him."

"I don't want you to. However, he is belligerent, and I fear he may harm himself, or worse. If you do not object, I'll allow you to speak with him. I hope it will pacify him until his representative can arrive."

Fili took a deep breath and placed his hands on his hips, but knew that Thorin's idea was a good one. They only had to oblige him for one more day, and Fili figured, with everything Dwalin was having to go through because of it, he could at least handle a conversation. "Fine..." he said finally, "If he asks me for courtship again, I'm punching him..."

"I won't be leaving the room."

With that, the two of them walked out and headed for the west wing. When they got to the door, Fili felt nervous. He could hear Odin yelling about being treated like a prisoner, and throwing things across the room. He wanted to rush in, and knock him out, make it so no one had to deal with his arrogant attitude until he was finally out of their hair, but he knew that wasn't really the point of why Thorin brought him there.

The guard opened the door, and he turned away from Thorin with a scoff. "What is it, now?"

"Fili will speak with you. I won't be leaving this time."

Odin turned around and it was like his whole personality changed. He noticed Fili, and dropped to a bow that he felt was much more suited for Thorin. "Your highness!" He bowed a second time, "May I say you look dashing? You are an absolute elegant center piece for the grand celebration I'm certain it will be."

Thorin turned and closed the door, and took his place beside it. He kept his hands clasped in front of him, and stood tall.

"What did you have to say?"

"I wanted to wish you fond greetings on your birthday." He bowed low once more, "Ênâd-nurt gêdul, Prince Fili of Erebor."

Fili bowed his head just a bit, never taking his eyes off of him. "Thank you. Are we done?"

"Almost." He turned and rummaged through the pile of items he had thrown around the room. He finally came to a small wooden box, and lifted it with a satisfied smile, and dusted it off, like he hadn't just found it in a pile of released anger. He walked over to Fili, who tried to stand his ground, but he must have made enough of a reaction for Odin to notice.

He gave him a hurt look. "Prince Fili, please. I'm merely trying to give you a gift." He held the box out to him. He turned to Thorin, but he didn't give much hint to whether or not he should take it. He simply watched Odin closely, and shifted uncomfortably. He looked back, and slowly took the box out of his hand.

He looked back up at Odin before opening it. "Go ahead, please." He encouraged. The box was an almost flat rectangle. It was made of a dark, shined cherry wood, with small hinges on the back, and a small clasp on the front. Fili slowly lifted the clasp with his thumb and opened the box.

He had to hold back and gasp, and make sure his eyes didn't grow at the sight in front of him. Lying inside the box was shining golden pendant. It was thick and large, and the chain was long. The pendant was slightly long, in the shape of outstretched, angelic wings with a large, perfect diamond in the middle.

Odin smiled as Fili marveled. "It's beautiful isn't it?"

Fili suddenly remembered who was offering it to him and shut the box loudly. He held it out to him. "I can't accept this."

"You can, and you will." He placed his hand on the box and pushed it back to Fili's chest, only taking his hand off of it when it made contact with him. "It would look much better on you than on me. It's for a certain type of dwarf. I'm not it."

Fili wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to accept any kind of gift from Odin, and give him the impression he felt anything towards him at all. Then again, it was rude to deny a gift, and the pendant was beautiful. He took a deep breath, battling with himself. Finally, he sat the box on the dresser beside him. "I'm sorry." He said, "I can't." He turned to go, but Odin's voice stopped him.

"Prince Fili, please. I want you to have it. A birthday gift. Forget everything that has been placed on my shoulders and simply accept my gesture. Do so, and I promise not to bother you, or your King, again until my name has been cleared."

Fili felt an odd feeling shoot through him at 'until my name is clear'. He lifted his eyes and they met Thorin's who was giving him an apologetic look. He obviously wasn't sure how to handle the situation either. He turned around with a sigh. He grabbed the box off the table. Actually, it was more of a snatch. "Thank you." He said, and gave a quick bow.

Odin returned it with a smile that sent chills through him. "I regret not being able to attend your celebration. As you can see..." He held his hands out to refer to the room, "I have some tidying up to do. I sincerely hope it is a pleasant one."

Fili turned, box in hand, and without another word left the room, with Thorin following closely behind.

Once outside, and walking quickly away from the room, Fili looked down at the box.

"What is it?" Thorin asked. Fili handed it to him. He gave him a look and opened it. His eyes opened wider and he looked up at Fili.

"I know..." Fili said, "It's beautiful, but it feels ... contaminated to me. I didn't want to take it. I could never wear it."

Thorin gave a bit of a sarcastic chuckle, and handed the box back to Fili. "He's certainly trying to woo you."

Fili let the chills take over him now, and shivered as if the cold wind had made it to his very bones. "Don't say that."

Thorin laughed. "Come. Push it from your mind. Your celebration is about to begin."

Fili smiled, and nodded. "Once I put this away, I'm ready."

"Good." Thorin said, and smiled. "I'll give the word."

...

After a bit of freshening up, and placing the box in his room, Fili stood outside the large golden doors to the Great Hall. He heard the bustle inside, and knew that the party was beginning, the only thing that was missing now, was him. He took a deep breath.

"Fili, my lad!"

He turned at Balin's voice.

"There you are! Ênâd-nurt gêdul! Are you ready for your celebration?"

"As ready as ever, Master Balin."

"Shall I announce you then?"

"No need. I think I'll just slip in."

"As you wish." He smiled.

A guard rushed over to open the door for them. It was Dwyn.

"Ênâd-nurt gêdul, Your Highness." He said quietly.

"Thank you, Master Dwyn." He smiled.

Dwyn opened the door, and Fili was thankful that he only did so enough for himself and Balin to slide in, not bringing much attention to the them.

The hall was full, everyone was sitting down, eating, drinking, and laughing together. Fili walked through, hearing many yelling his name, and birthday wishes. He smiled, and bowed to those he noticed, then he looked up and saw it. A large, larger than Fili had ever seen, four tiered cake, covered, literally, every inch in fresh, bright strawberries. Around the bottom of each tear was a ring of whipped cream, setting the look off perfectly. It brought a dazzled smile to his face, and he walked over to look at it closer.

He had only been joking when he told Bombur he wanted an over-sized cake, but he had certainly taken it to heart, and Fili was quite certain there was enough for two barrels of strawberries.

"Ah ha! Master Fili!" He heard Bombur's voice, and turned to him. "How do you like it?"

"It's beautiful!" Fili placed his arm around the shorter dwarf's shoulders. "Truly a masterpiece, Master Bombur!"

"I worked hard on it for you, and I think I did a mighty fine job if I do say so, myself."

"And you should." Thorin's voice came from the other side of Fili, and He greeted his nephew with a warm touch on his back. "It's magnificent."

The three of them stood, looking at it for a moment, and finally Bombur turned to Fili. "Come, my lad! I know you're hungry. I think you'll be just as pleased with the meal I've prepared for you."

As he led him to his place at the head of one of the two massive tables that had been moved from the dining hall, Fili tried to keep his mind to happy thoughts. He tried not to miss Dwalin, or keep checking the door for him. He tried to smile at everyone who smiled at him, and return every bow he could, but it was already getting tiring. Once he sat, Bombur rushed off to get his meal, and he looked to his left. Thorin was sitting at the head of the other table, speaking to Bofur, and Ori. He admired his regal way. The way he sat straight up in his chair. The way he held his mug, and ate his food. Everything was so fluid, and Fili envied it so. Even though he was always complimented on his demeanor, he always felt awkward, like he was doing something wrong. Especially in social situations like this one, and tonight, he felt particularly watched.

"Nadad!" Kili ran over to him, two full mugs of ale in his hands. He handed one to him, and clanked them together happily. "What do you think of your strawberry cake?" He could tell his brother was trying not to sound disgusted or rude, but his distaste played in his voice.

"I think it's amazing." He said, forgiving his brother easily for his tone, "Master Bombur certainly out did himself."

Kili took the seat to Fili's right side and drank on his ale. "So much for being able to eat the cake without the strawberries..." He said.

Fili couldn't help but smile at him. "You still could. It would just take a little more effort."

Kili made a face at the idea, and took another drink from his mug. Then, Bombur returned and sat a large platter in front of Fili. Everyone else had already been served with rows of food on the table. This tray, however, was special. It had a large steak with potatoes, bread and butter, soup, cherry tomatoes, and a small cup of grapes. Fili, and Kili, stared in awe at the meal. Fili loved everything on the tray, and smiled at the tomato soup, which he was particularly fond of.

"Master Bombur, you are a noble among dwarfs! Everything is perfect." He looked up with a grateful smile, and Bombur beamed happily, and proudly, knowing he had done well. Of course, Fili couldn't remember a time that he hadn't.

"Only the best for you on this most joyous of days." He bowed extra low, and Fili returned it as well as he could from his chair. "Enjoy it, and let me know when you be wanting to cut the cake." He, then, turned and left with a proud bounce in his step.

Fili watched him for a moment, but turned when he caught Kili snatching a grape from his tray. "Hey! This is my birthday gift from Master Bombur, you know?"

"And?" Kili said, chewing the grape.

Fili just rolled his eyes at him, and started eating. Everything was absolutely delicious. The steak was cooked perfect. Rare, just as he liked it, and the soup was more delectable than he ever remembered it being. Kili had started talking to those around him, and it gave Fili's thoughts the chance to wonder. He missed Dwalin, and wished more than anything that he was sitting beside him, enjoying the meal and the party... or better yet, they were alone, eating together in that loving silence they shared. He felt the dark thoughts try to come up, and he begged them to stay at bay, at least for now. He just had to make it through the cutting of the cake, and then he could slip away.

As he ate, many party-goers came up and wished him pleasant greetings and happy birthdays. He did his best to be polite to them all, and was doing well with it, even being in the middle of dinner, but of course, they were only following the custom of most birthday celebrations. They would leave their gifts in a special place, unmarked, and Fili would have them once everyone had left. Not that he really cared much for the material things.

As dinner was coming to a close, Thorin stood and walked to the large platform. The Hall fell silent, and Fili tried to sink down in his chair, knowing the speech was coming, and everyone would be looking at him.

"My friends..." Thorin started, smiling, "Today is my nephew's sixty-eighth birthday."

The Hall erupted into cheers, Kili yelling loudly beside him, causing him to actually break a smile.

"Tonight, we celebrate his life, and honor him as he so well deserves." More applause. Thorin held up his mug, and everyone in the Hall that had one, held it up as well. "And now we drink to you, Fili." He turned and smiled warmly at his nephew. "Ênâd-nurt gêdul. Menu sigim bundul (You are greater than words), may your life be long, and your name prosper!"

The dwarves in the Great Hall of Erebor cheered, and drained thier mugs, and more than a few ended up mashed on the tables and floor. Thorin walked back down, and Fili was appriciative that he had kept it short and sweet. He walked to his nephew and pressed their foreheads together without a word. He gave Kili as smile as well, and Fili couldn't help but think it had an odd feel to it, but he chose to ignore it, and stood.

"Where are you going?" Kili asked.

"To find Master Bombur. I believe it's time for cake."

Kili's excitement faded, but just as Fili turned, Bombur lumbered up carrying another tray. Just as Fili was about to tell him he couldn't eat anymore if he hoped to have cake, he turned toward Kili and sat the tray in front of him. It was a beautiful collection of sweet rolls, topped with cinnamon and some sort of glaze.

Kili's eyes grew wide and bright and his smile was of sincere surprise and glee. "Master Bombur, you truly are a noble among dwarves!"

"I know you don't care much for Master Fili's cake, so I thought I'd whip you up something of your own, but don't be getting used to it!"

Kili was already tearing into one, and he glowed with a satisfied smile.

Fili found the gesture very caring and kind. He grinned at Bombur. "Now that my brother is taken care of, how about we cut the cake?"

Bombur gleamed and pulled a knife out, seemingly from nowhere. "As you wish!"

As the two of them walked over a feeling hit Fili. A sudden, gripping need for Dwalin. He didn't want to cut his gorgeous cake before he was there to see it and enjoy it with him. He felt wrong, like he was purposefully leaving him out. He thought of his comment about uninviting him and he suddenly felt a guilt rush over him that nearly took him to the ground.

By the time they got there, his feelings must have been seeping through to his expression, because Bombur asked: "Are you feeling alright, Master Fili?"

Fili looked up at the divine cake in front of him and it suddenly looked incredibly unappetizing. "I'm sorry, Master Bombur, but I suddenly have no stomach for cake."

Just as he was turning, Bofur caught his eye contacr, and grinned brightly, noticing him by the cake. "Will you be cutting the cake now, Master Fili?" He yelled it so loud, at least half the party heard him and before he knew it, he was swarmed and pushed back in front of the cake. Bombur handed him the knife, giving him a concerned look.

Everyone cheered and waited, all eyes watching him. He didn't want to cut it. He didn't want to take the step to ending his celebration without Dwalin having been there. He didn't want to ruin the cake before Dwalin could see it. He felt pressured and claustrophobic. He could feel his breathing getting shallow and as he hand moved the knife down to the cake, he saw it shaking. He knew everyone could see and he was definitely embarrassed.

He sat the knife down quickly without touching the cake. "I'm sorry, I just..."

"Cut the cake!" Someone yelled from the back and then they all started. Fili stopped hearing words and suddenly the muse of voices became a deafening roar. He looked to either side of him but it was flooded with happy dwarves, chanting and cheering for him to finish. He wanted so badly to simply disappear from the situation. He would have traded it for being with Dwalin on the snowy roads in an instant, if he could.

The chanting grew louder, and it was starting to grind in Fili's ears. He looked desperately for an escape, but saw none. He felt like a cornered animal, about to be pounced on. He looked up at the cake, and now, to him, it seemed a hundred feet tall.

He couldn't take it anymore. He wanted nothing more than to fade away, but there he stood, trapped, and no one was even aware of the turmoil going on inside him. Suddenly, he turned and tried to run out, but he was stopped by the crowd, all still cheering and chanting.

He couldn't think of what to do, or what to say and suddenly his body moved on it's own and his voice rang out without his knowledge or control. "No!" He yelled and slid his fingers under the massive tray holding the cake and flipped it. The cake tumbled into massive heaps of strawberries, cream and pastry with a sickening splat sound.

Everyone gasped as backed up, not wanting to be blamed for what had happened, but Fili knew they had all seen it. The Hall fell absolutely silent and still. He was horrified. How could he let himself do something like that? Had his dark emotions really taken that much of a hold on him? He looked to the door, and finally saw an escape route. He took it.

"Nadad..!" He heard Kili call to him, but he didn't stop. He rushed out of the doors and through the halls. He felt the tears welling in his eyes. He felt humiliated, afraid, guilty, and almost every horrible emotion one could feel. He turned sharply down a small corridor, hoping to loose anyone that may be following him, but he didn't think they were.

He rushed without thought, or pursuit, and made his way to Dwalin's home. When he got to the door, he braved a glance atound, and seeing no one, flew inside, making sure the door was shut tightly behind him. He made his way straight to the bed and fell onto it, finally overwhelmed by the emotions and burst into tears.

He had ruined everything... the cake, the celebration, and likely the opinions of everyone who knew him.

He curled up on the bed trying not to think. The image of the cake hitting the golden floor of the Hall made him sick. How could he have done something so horrible? In front of everyone! He wanted so badly to go back and make everything right, but he knew it was impossible. He had done it, and all of Erebor had watched him.

Dammit, Fili! You emotional fool!

He crawled over to the pillow and grabbed it. He tried to smell Dwalin on it but his tears had caused his senses to dull. He'd even ruined that... He still held it, trying his best to calm down. He closed his eyes tightly and let the tears fall, forever cursing his birthday and any celebration of it.


	6. Gifts Given and Gifts Received

Chapter 6: Gifts Given and Gifts Received

As the tears finally started to subside, Fili sat up on the bed, abandoning the pillow. He took a deep breath and wiped his face with both of his hands. He knew, eventually, he would have to go. He would have to face everyone at some point. He would have to look at Thorin, Kili, Bombur... everyone he was certain he had offended deeply. Especially, Master Bombur. He'd never be able to look at him. How was he going to explain something like that? It was the most magnificent cake he had ever made for a birthday celebration, and he was so proud it. Not only for it's beauty, but because Fili had loved it so.

Fili hung his hand and covered his face with his hands, trying fruitlessly to think of anything that would make what he did sensible. He stood, and started pacing around. He wondered if there was anyway he could just disappear, short of running away... He turned to the window, but put his hands out in front of him.

"No, Fili... Don't even think of it."

He turned and walked into the living area, and sat in the chair in front of the doused fireplace. It was cold, and he considered building one, but he knew he shouldn't. He wasn't really supposed to be there. Though, for the time being, he knew it would serve as a good hiding place... at least until he gathered the courage to face his family. He wondered if Dwalin would mind that he was using his home as a escape from something like that. He sighed. He felt very alone, misunderstood, and as out-of-place as ever. He couldn't see how anyone would forgive him for acting so... he didn't even know what to call it. Childish? Impulsive? Stupid? They all fit to him.

Suddenly he heard shuffling outside, and a fear gripped his heart when he realized whoever it was right outside the door. He stood, and looked from either side, and finally quickly ducked into the pantry. He covered his mouth to hide his breathing, wondering how anyone would have found him. Maybe he had missed it and someone saw him duck inside. The door opened and he stood as still as possible, knowing that he would be found with minimal effort in the small home.

The intruder walked in slowly, and Fili heard something hit the floor, then the door closed behind him. He noticed the person didn't sound rushed, and it started to settle in him, that whoever was in the home, was not searching for him. Who else would come into Dwalin's home, if not to look for him? Then it hit him, just as the figure walked by the pantry, and his breathing started back suddenly.

"Dwalin?"

Dwalin stopped right in front of the pantry, and strained to see in the dim light. "Fili..? What are ya-"

He was cut off by Fili leaping on him. He wrapped his arms tightly around his neck, and pressed his face into his shoulder. Dwalin wrapped his arms around him, and could immediately feel how Fili's breath was shaking and he was trying everything he could not to cry right there. He was so suddenly happy it was overwhelming. He held him as tightly as he could, never wanting to let him go away from him again. He didn't think Thorin himself could have separated them right then.

"Fili... what's wrong?" Dwalin said without releasing him at all.

"I ruined ... everything..." Fili said, choking back a sob in the middle.

Dwalin pulled, back and looked down into the prince's eyes. They were misty and clouded with a sadness that made the older dwarf's heart break. "What are ya talking about?"

Fili took a deep breath and stepped back, composing himself. "I thought you weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow..."

"I thought so, but we found a road that had been cleared and we rode through the night. I wanted to be back for yer birthday."

Fili's heart shattered into a million pieces. He rode all night, in the cold, wearing nothing but a small fur vest, instead of his coat, which he had left for him, all to make it home for his celebration, which was over... very over.

"Dwalin... I'm so sorry." He wrapped his arms around himself, "I... I ruined the celebration. It's over..."

Dwalin stepped forward quickly and ran his thumb down a dried tear stream on Fili's cheek. "I didn't do it for the party..."

Fili shook his head, and Dwalin's hand dropped. He turned away from him. He didn't deserve to look at him. He had gone through so much for him, and look at how he'd re-payed him. If he had just waited... just another half hour... Dwalin would have appeared at his celebration, and it would have been the best gift he could ask for... but he hadn't.

Dwalin stepped forward, but didn't try to turn him around. He wrapped his arms around his wait from behind and held him close. "Tell me what happened..."

"I ..." He took another deep breath and Dwalin held him closer. "I got upset. I don't even know why... I missed you so much, and everyone was yelling and talking and it was so loud... I couldn't think. No one would listen to me... except Master Bombur... and what I did to him...!" He had to take another breath, "He made me a cake that was... so beautiful, Dwalin... it was the best thing I had ever seen, and I ... I... pushed it over. I threw it right on the ground... I didn't even cut it..! Then I just ran out... I ran and I came here to hide in my shame... He'll never forgive me..."

Dwalin turned him around then, and tilted his head by his chin, and placed a kiss on him that made him almost completely forget what had happened and what he was saying. When it broke, Dwalin pulled him into a comforting embrace, and swayed slightly. "Aye... he will. They all will. Ya got upset, Fili, and there's nothin' wrong with that."

"But there is..!" He pushed away from him in a way he never thought he would, almost shoving him into the wall behind him. "I had no reason to do that! I destroyed a beautiful cake and a wonderful party because I was selfish... What's wrong with me, Dwalin?"

"Nothin'... Nothin' is wrong with ya..." He stepped toward him, and wrapped one arm around his waist. The other hand wiped the tear marks from him face, and then cupped his cheek as he placed small pop kisses on his lips. "You're perfect..."

He kissed Fili with a sudden passion. Fili melted into it, giving up completely to the older dwarf holding him. Dwalin moved both of his arms around his waist and squeezed so tightly if nearly took Fili's breath, and he had none to spare. He broke the kiss to breath but Dwalin moved his lips right to his neck, kissing and biting a bit. His hands started to roam and Fili felt the want in his touch. It started to overcome him, too, and he tilted his head to open his neck up to the warrior.

"Dwalin..." he started, but he hushed him.

"It's ok... don't talk." His breath was hot on his neck as he spoke, and Fili felt himself grow warm all over, even in the cold room. Then in one movement, Dwalin lifted him off his feet, and carried him with ease to the bed. He laid him down, and immediately started back on his neck. He bit and started sucking hard, and Fili was concerned about a mark, but had no will to stop him.

Then he slowly lifted up and looked down at him with a look that Fili was still trying to figure out. "I'm sorry..." He said, and moved off of him and sat on the bed. Fili got up and crawled over to him on the edge of the bed. He lifted up and wrapped his arms around his shoulders, clasping his hands at his chest, and resting his chin on his shoulders.

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"Loosin' my place..."

Fili gave him a look, not quite sure what he meant, but as the thought settled in, he had to ask: "Wait... do you mean the fact that I'm the prince?" He didn't mean for it come out like he was offended, but, honestly he was. Of all people he thought would see him beyond that, it was Dwalin.

"Well... Aye, a bit..." Fili felt his heart sink, and was about to let go of him, when he continued: "That wasn't what I was thinking, though."

"What were you thinking?"

He slowly turned, causing Fili to have to shift his position to sitting on the edge with him. Dwalin took both of his hands, and sat for a second, forming his thoughts into words. Finally, he looked up at him, and started: "Ya remember when ya told me that ... you would have done this when ya were fifty?"

Fili nodded.

"It wasn't long after that... I started noticin' ya... in that way, I mean. I had always felt wrong about it..." He let out a slight chuckle, "And when ya said that... well, I saw this differently, and I'm guessin' that's probably why I got so carried away..." He looked away for just a second and then back to Fili's eyes, "I want to do this right... ya deserve it... I..." He trailed off. "I care about ya in a way that I'm still tryin' to understand myself, but... I want to do this one right."

Fili knew he must have looked like a swooning child, but it didn't matter. He leaned in slowly and kissed him. It may not have been their most passionate kiss, but Fili felt more from it than any before. He wanted to tell him. Tell him that he loved him, and that being with him now, before, and again was saving his life. Dwalin tried to break it, but Fili wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled himself as close as possible, and just deepened it. Dwalin's hands rested on his hips, but they instead of sliding up and down him like they had been, he simply gripped, holding their bodies together.

Finally, Fili allowed the kiss to be broken. He was about to speak, even though he wasn't sure what he might have said right then, but was stopped by a frantic loud knock at the door. They both jumped, and looked.

"Dwalin? I need your help." It was Thorin.

Thorin!

He jumped up, but Dwalin quieted him by putting his finger to his lips, stood, and sat him back on the bed. He walked out of the room, and unhooked a curtain that Fili had never noticed before. Being on the outside, the dark green curtain covered the entrance to the bedroom completely. Fili scrambled to the edge of the bed, disliking for the first time that it was made out of the mountain and there was no way to duck behind or under it.

He held his breath when Dwalin opened the door. "Khuzsh (Friend)" Thorin didn't waste any time speaking, and Fili could tell he was still standing at the door. "I know you have only just returned, but I must ask your help." He sounded just a bit rushed and a little unlike himself.

"Anything, of course."

"Fili left his celebration. He seemed very upset."

Thanks for sparing the details, Uncle.

"We haven't been able to find him, and I'm worried. Please, get some men together, and help us."

Worry. That was what Fili had heard in his voice... almost... fear?

"Of course." Dwalin didn't sound fake at all. "Right away."

"Akminruk Zu, Khuzsh. (Thank you, friend) Tell me immediately if you find him"

They way Thorin said 'if' made Fili want to rush out, hug him like he used to, and show him that everything was alright, and there was no need to sound so... sad.

"Yamal. (You're welcome)"

There was a bit of shuffling, which Fili figured must be them bowing to each other, and Dwalin shut the door. He walked over and hooked the curtain back, and looked at Fili. His look was a mixture of humor, worry, and a little bit rushed. "I didn't like that." He admitted. "You're gonna have to talk to him, Fili. "

Fili hung his head. He was right, of course. He slowly stood. "Come on." He said, a little defeated, "We'll tell him I was in the hall and you found me. I suppose I'll have to face him eventually."

Dwalin walked over and put their foreheads together. "Just tell 'im what ya told me. He'll understand."

Fili didn't agree with that at all, but he nodded. He was disappointed Dwalin had stopped earlier, and he wanted to climb back into bed with him, and tell him to have him right there, but he knew they wouldn't be able to, and if he had understood correctly, he wasn't quite comfortable with going that far anymore. He sighed, and Dwalin noticed.

He leaned down and kissed him softly. "We can finish talkin' later. Right now, ya need to let yer uncle know yer ok."

Fili nodded again. Dwalin checked the hall to make sure no one was around, and they slipped out to find Thorin. Fili felt his heart thumping in his chest, and his face was a bit hot. He was nervous, wondering what he would ask him, and if he would be upset with him. He would almost prefer that to the sound in his voice he had speaking to Dwalin. It had made Fili feel all the more guilty.

They didn't speak, but Fili didn't really mind. He was more than happy just to be near him, even though he still felt bad about ... everything. THey turned the cornner toward the Great Hall, and there was Thorin, speaking to a guard. He noticed Fili instantly.

"Fili..." He walked over, but there was no affection this time, and Fili knew he was at least a little angry, "Where were you?"

"I was... walking... outside... getting some air. I came upon Master Dwalin when I came back in. He said you were looking for me." He felt wrong lying to him, but he just threw it on top of the mountain of guilt he had already started building.

"Thank you, Master Dwalin." Thorin bowed to his captain, and Dwalin returned it. "Come with me, Fili." He turned and started walking. Fili hung hid head, did not look to Dwalin, and followed him. They walked until they made to to the top of the drawbridge stairs. Funny place for such a meeting for Fili, but none more suiting he supposed.

"Fili..." Thorin stood close to him, and he felt much shorter than the already taller dwarf. In fact, he felt about two inches tall, even though his voice had not been threatening or angry. "What happened? Why did you leave like that?"

Fili was thankful he avoided the cake situation, and hoped for a moment that maybe he was unaware. He hadn't been standing around him when it happened. "I'm sorry... I just... wanted some fresh air."

"Please..." Thorin tried to hold in his scoff, but it came through a bit, "Tell me the truth."

"I don't... know the truth, Uncle." He looked down at the stone floor below him, at his reflection staring back at him, "I'm not myself lately."

"I've noticed." He placed his hand on his shoulder, and bent down and caught his gaze, Fili looked up so he could straighten himself, "I'm not going to ask what's troubling you. I've tried, and it seems you don't care to speak of it."

There was that insight Fili envied so. It always managed to surprise him.

"Just know that you can speak to me about anything. If it is something I can help you with, I'll do that, because I hate to see you like this." Fili tried to look down, but Thorin turned his face up to him with a gentle hand on his cheek. "I have something for you." Fili was kind of shocked by the change of subject. Thorin reached in the pocket of his fur coat, and pulled out a small box. He opened it himself, and pulled out a large ring.

Fili immediately knew the ring, and took an inhale of breath. "Uncle..." He handed the ring to Fili. It was a large golden band. In the middle was an onyx. The most pure, and perfect one Fili had ever seen. There were runes on the band that read: 'Men lananubukhs menu (I love you)' He knew the ring, and had seen it many times before. It was a gift from Thorin's mother, who had it made for his father Thrain, who gave it to Thorin the night before he disappeared. There were few material things that Thorin held of value, but this was one of them.

"Uncle... I can't."

"Yes, you can." He smiled at his nephew, and placed his hand of Fili's, closing his fingers around the ring. "It is my birthday gift to you."

"But this is..."

"I know what it is, and I'm passing it to you. Treasure it, as I have, and know that the love goes with it."

Fili couldn't hold it in any longer, and jumped, wrapping his arms around Thorin's neck and hugging him tightly. He had never thought the conversation would turn this way, but it had certainly done wonders for Fili. He loved his uncle more than he ever had in that moment, and felt for the first time in a long time, that they were as close as they once were. "Thank you, Uncle..." He whispered.

Thorin hugged him back, and when they stepped away they were both smiling. He placed his hands on Fili's shoulders. "Please, keep that smile." Fili was a bit bashful by the comment, and looked away, but his smile did stay. "And find your brother. He's searching all of Erebor for you." Fili nodded, and Thorin handed him the box for the ring. "And I also think you should talk to Master Bombur..." Fili's expression went from happy to grave in a matter of seconds, but Thorin smiled and squeezed his shoulders lightly. "Don't worry... he has already forgiven you." Fili nodded, and Thorin bowed to him. It was low and long. "I'm retiring for the evening, but you may speak to me whenever you wish. Goodnight." He turned and walked off.

Fili stood, and opened his hand to look at the ring. It was shining in the torchlight and Fili couldn't imagine a more thoughtful, and meaningful, gift. He placed the box in his pocket, and turned. He decided to head for the kitchen. Kili would find him eventually. He always did. Right now, he had a more important task of apologizing to Bombur for what he'd done. As he walked, he moved the ring in his hand, and slipped it on his middle finger. It was a bit too big for him, but he wanted to wear it. He ran his thumb back and forth across the band, and smiled. He was convinced that Thorin would be furious with him for being so rude, and ill mannered, and he felt that he was a little disappointed, but it all manifested into worry. He was starting to accept that his feelings were a bit more obvious than he'd thought... to the right dwarves.

He was just about to turn into the kitchen when he heard footsteps behind him. As he turned he heard them start running, and just as he got around to notice it was Kili, he leaped into the air and tackled his older brother to the ground. They slid across the floor a couple feet and Fili could aready feel his brother's arms squeezing around his waist. "Don't do that!" He yelled when they came to a stop, "What's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, Kili. I'm sorry." He hugged his brother, and the two of them stayed there for a moment. He could tell that Kili was giving him one of those hugs he thought he needed. He knew them too well. They heard rustling in the kitchen and Bombur peeked out to see the brother's on the floor.

"By my beard, what are you doing in the floor?" It was then he noticed Fili, "Master Fili! There you are! You'd had us right worried, you did! Get in here, I have something to show you."

Fili couldn't believe he was acting so jolly. Wasn't he the least bit upset with him? The brothers got up and walked into the kitchen, and there, sitting on the counter was a cake. It looked exactly like the other, except this one was much small, being only two tiers. Fili couldn't believe it. He walked over to the counter and stared, and then shot his eyes up to Bombur. "Master Bombur... you didn't have to do this. After I..."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Lad. I know it got a bit wild in there and things got out of hand, but you never even had a chance to taste it, and being my gift to you, I made you this. It's about eating the cake, not looking at it."

Fili walked right around the corner, and hugged the chef. He chuckled in that jolly way and hugged him back. Bombur cut the cake this time, and it was, indeed, the most delicious cake he had ever had, and he wouldn't have traded sitting there laughing at Bombur and Kili arguing over more cinnamon rolls for a thousand celebrations. Finally, the brothers said their goodbyes, and left the chef. They walked and talked about nothing and everything, and Fili felt the bad feelings washing away from him, and his smiled was less forced every time he did so.

"Nadad..." Kili said, and suddenly his tone was much less joyful, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you think that sometimes... I mean... if you really... ah, I don't know how to say it..." He stopped as if his steps were hindering his thoughts. He leaned on the wall behind him and looked at his brother. Fili could see in his eyes that he was a bit nervous, but trusting. "Do you think that... something that's... wrong... can be... right... if your heart tells you it is?" Fili could tell he was placing his words very carefully, which wasn't like him. He was always rushed when he talked. Kili shook his head and at stared at the ground, avoiding his older brother's gaze.

Fili furrowed his brow and looked down at him. He couldn't believe his brother had just asked him the very question he had been asking himself for the past ten days. He thought of the night he'd caught Kili out, or had Kili caught him? Doesn't matter. His little brother just asked him a question that he understood on a level that gave away more secrets than Kili realized. "What are you talking about, Kili? Truly? You can tell me."

"What do you mean? There's nothing to tell."

"One of those things we shouldn't talk about?"

Kili looked at the floor, knowing he was caught. Fili felt bad for causing that look on his face yet again, but he was worried. Kili was young, and a bit too trusting. If he had found himself in any kind of situation similar to his own... he could get hurt very easily. He tried to think this without realizing he had let his own feelings for Dwalin put him in the perfect position to be hurt, but this wasn't about him, it was about Kili.

"Nadad." Kili started, "Will you just answer my question?"

Fili sighed. "I think that..." He wanted to tell something that would discourage him from doing... whatever it was he was doing, but to do that, he would also have to deny himself the only thing he had wanted in a long time. Finally he decided he was better off being honest. "You should always follow your heart, Nadadith..."

Kili looked up, and Fili could tell he had expected a much different answer.

"I think that's as long as your heart is true and you know that it's what you really want... it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks."

"Even ones you have a responsibility to?"

"Kili..." He walked over and placed his hand on lightly on his brother's chest, just over his heart. "Your responsibility to yourself is your own happiness."

Kili looked up at his brother, and his eyes were shining in that way Fili loved so much. He hugged him tightly, and linger for a moment. He stepped back, and smiled. "Thank you, Nadad. You've really helped me."

Fili smiled down at him. "Come on..."

They started walking again, neither of them knowing where, just walking together through the halls. Kili was slowly getting back to his usual self, smiling and talking about humorous things. They were laughing about earlier in the day when Kili had accidentally hit a bullseye on Thorin's chest with the snowball.

"I would have got you right in the head."

"If you weren't so obvious in your aim. I'm surprised Thorin didn't see you."

"I'm sure he would have if you weren't in front of me."

"That's what you get for thinking you can best me."

"Oh, please. We can go another round now!"

Fili laughed. "I would but given your luck I wouldn't want you to end up hitting Thorin in the face with a rock."

Kili gave a sound of fake alarm and placed his hand to his chest. "Dear brother! Wish whatever you want on Thorin, but spare me the consequence!"

"Ha, let him hear you say that."

Kili shook his head, as if banishing the thought. "It wouldn't matter anyway if you wear that ugly coat again. You wouldn't be able to feel it."

Dwalin's coat..!

Then Kili stretched and yawned. "Well, Nadad, I think I'm going to go to bed, but tomorrow, we'll have that rematch."

Fili smiled at him. "Of course, but I'm going to my room as well, so we can walk together."

And they did. Kili hugged his brother again outside his door. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you, Kili."

He turned and walked inside. Fili went towards his room, a bit rushed, now remembering he had to return Dwalin's coat, and, for once, he had a reasonable excuse to go to him. He opened the door to his room, strode to his bed, and grabbed his coat. It was still slightly damp and cold, but he decided he would just explain. He made his way out, and threw that halls, almost jogging.

He turned the corner, into the hallway with Dwalin's home, and two older dwarfs were walking the opposite way toward him. They were holding onto each other, and stumbling from one side of the hall to the other. One had dark brown hair with traces of white. The other was a bit younger, but still much older than Fili, with balck hair. The brown-haired dwarf looked up and caught Fili's eyes. "My Prince!" He hiccuped, "We were just speaking of you." He stumbled and had to catch himself. The other dwarf looked up and smiled. "Well, by my beard! We were just talking about you!" He tried to bow, but gave it up, trying not to fall.

Fili bowed to them, and tried to walk by, but the dark-haired dwarf stopped him by his arm. "Wait... I wanna ask you... something..." His words were drawn out and slurred. Fili pulled his arm back, and stood tall.

"What is it?"

"Will you ... be all alone tonight? On your... birthday?" The way they were looking at him made him nervous. They were leaning toward him and the alcohol made them sway back and forth like horrible shapes in a nightmare.

"That's none of your business. Goodnight."

This time it was the brown-haired dwarf who stopped him. He grabbed his forearm, and let his hand slide down, making sure to graze Fili's fingers. He jerked his hand back, causing him to drop Dwalin's coat. "I think that means ... yes."

Fili tried to grab it, but the dark-haired dwarf stepped towards him and in front of it. "I can ... change that, you know?"

Since when did I become so noticeable..?

"No thank you."

He reached out and grabbed Fili's hand and tried to pull him, but he jerked it away again, but this time, it came into contact with something right behind him. At first, he was sure it was the wall, and he would be trapped, but he didn't even have to look back. Dwalin walked past him ignoring the accidental contact to his chest. He grabbed the dark-haired dwarf by his collar and heaved him into the air and down the hallway. The brown-hair dwarf tried to back up, but stumbled. He looked up at Dwalin with genuine fear.

"Get yer filth and get out of here." Dwalin said, standing tall in front of Fili, holding his fists tightly.

The other dwarf wasted no time, and scrambled to his feet, and started helping his friend down the hallway. As soon as they turned the corner, Dwalin turned to Fili. "Are ya alright?"

Fili nodded. "I'm fine."

Dwalin leaned down and picked up the coat for him, only then realizing it was his. He was still fuming, and he looked back toward the hall. He then turned Fili gently by his shoulder and led him inside. He pitched his coat on the table. The fire was roar, and Fili could see the steaming kettle sitting just before the fire. "Are ya sure you're ok?"

"They barely touched me."

"Aye, but I know those two. Drunkards, they are. Had trouble like that from 'em before."

"I'm fine, Dwalin. You were watching weren't you?"

He gave a laugh. "Only long enough to see that bastard grab ya."

Fili smiled at him, and placed his hand inside Dwalin's. "Really. It's fine."

Dwalin took a deep breath and kissed his forehead lightly. "Do ya want some coffee?"

Fili looked at Dwalin in the firelight and suddenly all he could think about was the first night, and the way he felt on top of him. He leaned in and made sure their lips were close enough to feel his words: "Not really..." He captured his lips in a kiss, that he hoped would show his intention. He unclasped and dropped his coat, backing the older dwarf to the wall. Dwalin broke the kiss and tried to step forward, but Fili shoved him back. Before he could even move in for another kiss, Dwalin reached out, took both of his shoulder, and whipped them around, pushing his prince a bit roughly into the wall.

"That's not how this works." He kissed him, still holding his shoulders. Fili lifted his hands and gripped his forearms, but as soon as his fingers wrapped around them, Dwalin flipped his arms, capturing Fili's wrists and pressing them to the wall above his head. Fili tried to say something, but Dwalin wouldn't let up the kiss, now rubbing their bodies together. Fili felt himself start to melt, not sure how to feel or react the roughness, but loving it all the same. Finally Dwalin broke the kiss but didn't release his arms. "We really shouldn't..." He said.

"Why not?" Their mouths were close, and Fili could feel his breath.

"I want to do this proper..."

"Proper?" Fili pushed slightly up with his wrists, and smirked at the warrior.

Dwalin smirked back and kissed him again, but then slowly let his arms go and stepped back. "I'm serious, Fili... I want to do right by ya..."

"Dwalin... I want to..."

"Aye, so do I ... more than anything." His eyes traced Fili's body. "But that doesn't mean we should."

Fili stepped to him, and took his hands, and placed them on his hips. "I don't care if we should... I want to. Please, for my birthday..."

Dwalin lost it. Fili was starting to get the hang of what his warrior lover wanted. He started kissing him, and backing them up, lips pressed together to the bedroom. He dropped his vest, and started taking his tunic off, breaking the kiss just long enough to slip it over his head. He then yanked Fili's off and kept backing him up until his back pressed against the cold stone of the wall. He arched away from it, but Dwalin just used the movement to press into him. Fili let out an approving sound, and wrapped his arms around Dwalin's neck, letting the older dwarf loose control on his neck.

"Mmm... you're going to mark me..."

"Then everyone will know you're mine."

"Aren't we trying to..." He had to stop and gasp as Dwalin ran his hand over his hardening muscle through his pants. "...avoid that?"

Dwalin let out a small chuckle and pulled back from his neck. He ran his hands down his sides, and Fili felt chills go through his and a love swelled his heart that almost overcame him. He placed a kiss on Dwalin's lips that was gentle and sincere, causing the older dwarf to slow his movement, and wrap his arms around his waist, and hold him tightly.

Then he turned them and slowly laid Fili on the bed. He started kissing down his chest, moving lower and lower. Fili felt a bit exposed and embarrassed as he slowly started to pull his pants down. He took them and his boots off completely, then slowly slid back up him, letting his hot breath brush across Fili's, now very hard, cock. He kissed his hip, and nibbled a bit. He smiled when Fili jumped, then took him in his mouth, and new feeling surged through Fili that he never thought possible. His knees flew up, but Dwalin wrapped his hands around the top of his thighs and held him down as he started sucking hard and deep. "Dwalin... please..." He placed his hands on his head and tried to push him back, but he had no strength. Dwalin took him all the way, and he almost lost it right there. He tried to push back into the bed, but he could only go so far. Dwalin picked up his pace, now bobbing his head quickly up and down. "Please... wait... I'm gonna..!" He did everything he could to get back from the intense feelings going through him, but Dwalin was stronger, and held him down. Just as he was trying to peel the warrior's hands off his legs, the feeling took him, and he started bucking his hips as he released into his lover's mouth.

He fell limp on the bed, trying to catch his breath, as the waves of passion that were flowing through him slowing started to subside. He felt Dwalin lift up, but he was in no way done with his prince. He pushed his knees up, and almost immediately had a finger inside him. Fili gripped the bed and tried to breath normally. With much less preparation than the first time, he slid a second finger inside, causing Fili to yell out. Dwalin didn't say anything, but placed gentle kisses on his cheek and lips. He slowly started moving them back and forth, and gently scissoring them. Fili closed his eyes, and tried his best not to become a quivering mess under him, but then Dwalin hooked his fingers, hitting that spot inside him that just turned him to mush.

"Dwalin..! Please, take me!"

Dwalin wasted no time. He grabbed the oil and poured it on himself, making sure Fili could see. Then he draped his whole body over Fili, tucked his hands under his waist, to grip him and gain leverage, and then slowly pushed into him, moaning softly into Fili's neck. The prince tried not to look like it was hurting him, but it sent wave of painful pleasure through him in rapid bursts. Dwalin moved forward slightly, and Fili let out a small sound, causing the older dwarf to kiss him lightly. Fili could tell he was holding back, trying best not to hurt his smaller lover.

Fili took both of his hands and placed them on the side of Dwalin's face. "It's ok." He encouraged, "Take me like you want." Dwalin smirked at him, and kissed him as he started moving slowly. Fili was surprised that it was more pleasurable than painful, and encouraged him further with a bite to his shoulder and whispering: "Harder..." Then, his lover suddenly lifted up and took Fili's hips almost violently, his soft touch missing, and for the first time he could really feel rough they were from his years of work. Then he started moving fast. It was more of him moving Fili up and down onto him, lifting his hips off the bed, than moving himself. A bit of pain shot through Fili on the first few yanks of his hips, causing to try and drop them, but he was too light in the strong dwarf's hands. Then a sensation flew through him that he'd never felt before, even on the first night, and he was instantly hard again. He moaned deeply, without thought. He was seeing stars and Dwalin was only picking up his pace, now making sounds of his own, and it took Fili a moment to notice they were words.

"...touch yourself..."

Even if that was not what he had said, the tone in his deep voice would have made Fili grip himself tightly, but the added order made his heart skip a beat. He almost had to reach up to wrap his hand around it, and he started moving his hand quickly. He gripped the sheets with his other hand, noticing only then that he was moaning constantly, and his thoughts were starting to pour from his lips. "Dwalin... Kahomhilizu (Please)... Master Dwalin..." He was seeing colors through his shut eyes, and suddenly Dwalin leaned down, releasing his hips, and really started to move his own, rocking Fili back and forth on the bed, and Fili was certain he couldn't push into him any harder... then he did... and Fili started shaking, gripping himself wildly as he came again, onto his stomach and chest. Dwalin didn't slow, he kept up the pace for what felt like a long time, and then kissed him deeply as he released into him, clutching at his hair with both hands.

They lingered for a moment, both trying to breath. Then Dwalin rolled over off the bed and grabbed another cloth. Once they were clean, he climbed into the bed, and this time Fili pulled the blankets up, and even though spent, did not feel that tired. He turned on stomach, and lifted up onto his elbows, and looked at Dwalin, who was on his side, head propped by his hand, watching him.

"Ya know..." He said, "Eventually, they're gonna wonder where ya keep runnin' off to every night."

"I don't think so. The only person who ever looks for me very early is Kili, or Thorin, but he's much more patient. Kili won't be worried about me right now, though."

"Why'd ya say that?"

"I know he's been going somewhere at night himself."

"Kili? He's too young fer that."

"I think so, too, but I figure... I understand." He smiled at Dwalin.

He leaned forward and kissed the prince on the lips lightly, and looked down, pressing their foreheads togehter. Then he looked down sharply at Fili's hand. He took it and turned it over, and Fili felt him touch Thorin's, well his, onyx ring. "Is that what I think it is?"

"It is. It was Thorin's birthday gift." He smiled, but then the memory of Odin's box flew to the front of his mind, and he looked up at Dwalin quickly. "Someone else gave me an unexpected birthday gift as well."

"And who would that be?"

"Odin."

"Odin?" Dwalin sat up, his back to the head of the bed/wall. "How?"

Fili was kind of surprised by his change in demeanor, but it wasn't anger or jealousy in his eyes, it was worry. "He got really upset because he wanted to speak to me, so Thorin asked if I would, and he stayed with me. He gave me a golden pendant. I only took it because he said if I did he wouldn't ask to speak to me again... until his name was cleared."

"Oh, that won't happen."

Fili gave him an odd look, not sure exactly what he was referring to. "The noble that I traveled with has intention on tellin' yer uncle that they are leaving the case up to us. They mourn Ludin, but not Odin. Let's just say he was about as popular there as he is here, and with his father gone, they don't care what happens to 'im. I saw enough for myself to tell yer uncle fer sure, I think he did it, and we should lock 'im up for murder."

"Good. He gives me the creeps. You know... he asked me for my hand in courtship."

"Are you tryin' to make me jealous?"

Fili laughed. "If you had a reason to be jealous, it certainly wouldn't be of him."

"Fili..." He looked up and thought for a second, "What if I did talk to Thorin? At least, try..."

"And what if he says no?"

"Why are ya assumin' he will?"

"I just can't imagine him saying yes..."

Dwalin moved over, and slid back down, and pulled Fili to his chest. The contact made him feel warm, and happy. It made him think of what he'd told Kili earlier. He had meant it, and did not regret telling his brother to be happy, but what are the consquences of that happiness? He wrapped his arms around Dwalin, as if something were trying to tear them about. Dwalin held him close, and started playing with his hair in that way he seemed to enjoy. "Ya let me worry about that. I'll take care of everythin'."

Fili felt the exhaustion from the day start to creep up on him, and he could hear Dwalin's breathing starting to slow, and smooth out. He pulled his arm out from under him, and turned with his back to the warrior, getting in a comfortable position for sleep. Dwalin draped his arm around him and pulled him into his chest, placing his chin at the top of his head, and bent his knees under Fili's. The prince felt completely secure, and he pushed up against him, loving his warmth.

"'Ay watch yourself..." Dwalin said, keeping his eyes closed, "I'd like to get some sleep tonight."

Fili just giggled, and smiled. He wasn't sure if he wanted Dwalin to speak to Thorin, but he seemed pretty set on it. He closed his eyes, and tried to let sleep take him, cradled in the arms of the warrior, hoping that this feeling wouldn't be temporary. Hoping that he could keep this one good thing, and that he, or anything else, wouldn't drive him away. He laced their hands together, and when Dwalin squeezed his hand lightly, he felt reassured, and finally drifted off into sleep, deciding his birthday had turned out fairly nice after all.


	7. Kili's Secret

Chapter 7: Kili's Secret

It was still dark outside when something woke Fili from his sleep. Dwalin was still cuddled to his back, sleeping quietly. He tried to fall back asleep, but he was wide awake. He looked over to the window, and saw the stars shining brightly in the sky. It wasn't like him to wake up in the middle of the night. He had always had troubling falling asleep, but never staying asleep. He cuddled into Dwalin's chest, and closed his eyes in vain. He opened them back up after a moment with a sigh.

He felt Dwalin shift in his sleep, tightening his arm around Fili's waist and burrowing his face into his hair. It was odd to see the warrior asleep, and comfortable. He was normally hard at work doing... something, but Fili felt like he could get used to it. He turned over, not very easily, either, in the dwarf's grip, and heavy arms, but finally made it to where he was facing him. He wondered to himself how exactly he planned on asking Thorin if they could be together. That's not exactly a light subject. He reached his hand up, and lightly stroked his face. Dwalin's eyes opened instantly, but not in shock.

"I didn't mean to wake you up."

"I'd rather ya wake me up than anythin' else."

Fili smiled, and kissed him softly. He laid his head down on Dwalin's arm, and moved closer. Dwalin pulled the blanket around them, and settled into the pillow, his left arm under Fili's head, and the other around his waist, holding their bodies together will a constant pressure.

"What has ya awake, anyway?"

"I don't know..."

Dwalin leaned forward, and kissed his forehead, then moved down to his ear, placing a small kiss there as well, before speaking in a breathy tone: "Should put that extra energy to good use..."

Fili shivered from the way his breath brushed over his ear. He felt the arm around his waist move to his back, where he started rubbing up and down. Fili let out a small 'mmm' sound. The contact was relaxing, and he realized he'd never been so comfortable really... in a lot of ways. Then darker thoughts made their way to him, and, for whatever reason, he started imagining Dwalin asking Thorin for his hand, and Thorin growing very angry. He shook his head, almost automatically, and it caused Dwalin to back up.

"What is it?"

Fili was quiet for a second, then spoke: "Just what exactly are you going to say to Thorin?"

Dwalin looked at him and took a deep breath. "Didn't I tell ya not to worry about that?"

"I can't help it."

"Well... I guess I hadn't really thought about it."

Fili kind of laughed, but he was confused. How could you not think about something like that? How could walk into a situation like that blindly? Maybe he just thought too much, but the idea was ridiculous to him.

"Thorin is my friend." Dwalin said, "We have known each other fer a long while... been through a lot together. I really believe that even if he doesn't approve, he'll listen to what I 'ave to say."

Fili took a breath. He was nervous for Dwalin... for both of them. He closed his eyes. "Are you sure we wouldn't be better off like this?"

"What? Lookin' over our shoulders all the time? Havin' to sneak around to see each other? We can't have a relationship like that, Fili."

Fili looked up at him. He was starting to feel kind of frustrated. "I just don't see how it's fair to me."

"What do ya mean?"

"You have to ask someone else for my hand... why isn't that my decision? I know it's tradition, but... I didn't ask to be prince. What if I didn't even want to be?"

"Ya are, though. That's how it is. Besides, Thorin is yer uncle. Even if ya weren't the prince, it would be right to get his approval."

"But if I wasn't prince, his answer would matter."

Dwalin leaned down and met his gaze. His eyes were serious, and he stroked his hair softly. "Do ya really think I'll just forget if he says no?"

"Would you?"

"I promised before that I'd never forget ya... and I meant it."

"But how? How could we hope to even have this kind of relationship if Thorin is against the idea?"

Dwalin smiled, and kissed his forehead, then lips. "I told ya to let me worry about that..." He stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. "I'll take care of ya, and that's a promise, too."

Fili smiled and curled up to his chest. Dwalin wrapped him up in his arms, and pulled the blanket back over them. Fili sighed, and did everything he could to believe Dwalin. Maybe his friendship with Thorin could really persuade him, but Fili was still so doubtful. Thorin was over-protective, and stubborn. If he had any distaste for the idea, he would dismiss it immediately, and hopefully that would be all. Fili couldn't bare to think if it upset him. As he felt sleep start to take him again, he basked in Dwalin's arms, trying to take in every bit of the feeling for as long as he could.

...

Fili woke to Dwalin moving from under him. He tried to open his eyes but it was kind of bright and he closed them quickly. Dwalin kissed his head and pulled the cover over him before walking over to his wardrobe and starting to change. Fili turned toward him and opened on eye. He was pulling his pants up and Fili's eyes went to his back. It was battle worn and tattooed, and Fili barely noticing opening his other eye and staring. Dwalin was thumbing through a stack of shirts and tunics, and Fili noticed a blue one that he had never seen the warrior wear. It wasn't bright but it wasn't dark, it was more of a true blue.

"You should wear that one." Fili said from his place under the blanket.

Dwalin looked back with a smirk, and a bit of confusion. "Which one?"

"The blue one."

"Why?"

"Because I've never seen it."

"I don't care for the color, so I don't wear it much."

"Put it on for me, at least. I like blue." That was true. If Fili had to pick a favorite color, that would be it.

Dwalin kind of laughed, pulled it out and slipped it on. It was simple, a little long, and the top opened in a V with small dark brown laces. The color was odd on him, Fili had to admit, but something about it made Fili smile. "I like it." He said.

"I don't."

Fili slowly sat up, letting the blanket slide to where it was just covering the lower half of his body. He stared at the warrior in front of him, making sure that he felt correctly about it. Then he nodded and said: "But I do. You should wear it."

Dwalin gave a sigh and placed his hands on his hips, but then he smiled : "Is that an order, Sire?"

Fili knew he was only be cheeky, trying to make him smile, but it rubbed him the wrong way. He never wanted Dwalin to treat him like the prince. In this part of his life, he was determined to be Fili, just Fili. "I give you no order, Captain." He said.

Dwalin walked over to him and kissed him gently. Fili couldn't help but smile. Dwalin had a way of something a lot without any words. He turned took the few steps to his wardrobe, and grabbed a dark brown leather belt and placed it around his waist. Fili smiled at him again, and finally got out of bed and started putting his, once again, old clothes back on, in fact, this was his birthday attire.

"I need to bring some clothes here..." He muttered to himself, but then felt bad for inviting himself to the idea. That wasn't really his decision. It wasn't his home. Nevertheless, he now had to deal with sneaking back to his room, again before someone saw him, and it was absolutely obvious he had slept somewhere else. Once he was changed, he walked into the living area to see Dwalin pick up his coat, and notice it was still damp.

"I'm sorry." Fili said, and he turned. "Kili and were outside. I ended up in the snow."

"I wasn't sure ya'd wear it."

"Isn't that why you left it?"

"Aye, but also, just to keep ya warm in the bed if the fire went out."

"I'm sure you regretted that." Fili laughed a bit.

Dwalin tossed the coat back on the table and smiled at the prince. "Not at all."

Fili smiled, and looked at the floor, still feeling a bit bad about it. They made their way into the living area, and Dwalin started preparing to leave. "Where are you going?" Fili asked him.

"To talk to Thorin."

Fili felt something grip his heart. "Now..?"

"I figure I should before I loose my nerve." He gave a chuckle, but Fili didn't see the slightest bit of nerves on him. He looked as calm, strong, and level-headed as ever. Fili took a deep breath, and decided he would have to be nervous for both of them.

"And how am I suppose to look at Thorin after that?"

"He doesn't even have to know. I can make it out like ya don't know I'm askin'."

"I don't like this..."

Dwalin gave him a warm smile, and walked over to take him into a loving hug. "It'll be ok. I promise."

Fili tried so hard to believe him, but the dark voice was strong today, and he could only see things going badly. He looked at the ground, but nodded, deciding not to argue with him. He knew that Dwalin was doing the right thing, but Fili wasn't sure he cared about doing the "right" thing anymore. He just wanted to be happy, and even though everything seemed shaky, Dwalin was the one thing he could hold dear, and now, he might loose it... all because Dwalin was trying to be noble.

"I'll tell ya what he says."

Fili took a breath to make, yet another, negative comment, but held himself back and just nodded again.

"Don't make that face." Dwalin lifted his chin up and kissed him passionately. Then, without another word, he caressed Fili's face and disappeared out of the door.

Fili really tried to suppress all the feelings of fear that gripped him, but that dark voice kept yelling at him to stop Dwalin and beg him not to speak to Thorin. His feet didn't stay still, and to avoid rushing out the door, he started didn't know what to do. He supposed he should let Dwalin handle it, but he wasn't very comfortable just sitting and waiting for an answer. Then he wondered if they should talk to Thorin together, but quickly banished the thought. That would give everything away far too quickly.

Finally, he walked out, with intention on going to his room to change, but about half way there he ran into Kili. He didn't even notice Fili. He was walking with his head down, in front of Fili. His normal bounce was long gone, and he slumped, reminding Fili more of himself than he liked. He jogged up.

"Nadad?"

Kili looked up, almost shocked. Fili had never startled Kili, nor had it happened the other way around. They were just too close, a brotherly thing.

"Did I scare you?"

"Um... a little, I guess." He turned back to look at the ground and kept walking, but he did pick up his pace a bit.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He said it so low that the he might as well have told the truth.

"Nadadith..." He stopped him by his shoulder and turned him so they were face to face. "You think I can't see? Your eyes tell me enough. Why won't you speak with me?"

"Because..." His eyes feel back to the floor. "I can't."

"You can tell me anything."

"Not this."

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I do, Kili. I can't stand that sound in your voice."

"Then don't listen." Kili turned from him, and dashed off. Fili tried to stop him, but his arm slipped through his hooded cloak, and he whipped down another hall. Fili didn't even try to follow. He knew that Kili was faster when he really wanted to be, and he was also stunned by what just occurred. Kili never acted that way toward him. He was always open and trusting, and he never ran away from him.

Fili had took shake his head a few times to break the shock and start moving again. He walked and looked down the hallway that Kili had rushed through, and of course it was empty. He blinked a few times staring down it. What in Durin's name could have caused his little brother, Kili, to have that look in his eye, and rush away from him? He finally looked up and noticed that he was right by The Great Hall. He would have to go past it to get to his room.

He honestly considered going around, but that would take a bit of time, and he was ready to be in fresh clothes, also thinking of having a bath. He took a deep breath and held it as he walked towards the doors, hoping that Thorin wouldn't be in there and he could slip by. As he got closer, however, he started to hear voices. He strained to hear who they belonged to. Sure enough, it was Thorin. He tried not to listen too much, knowing it was rude, but he couldn't help himself. The doors were only partially open, so he could have easily walked by the door unnoticed. Could have, if he hadn't noticed the other voice as Dwalin.

"He's dangerous, Thorin." He said, "Hear those in Ivory Hills tell it, he was impulsive, and a violent when he got upset."

"I've noticed."

Fili didn't mean to stop behind the door, and listen but he the mention of Odin intrigued him.

"I say we lock 'im up."

Thorin was quiet for a moment, and Fili could imagine him with that thoughtful gaze he had when he was making an important decision. "I think he will do where he is. At least until we can have all the loose ends taken care of. Make sure that's completed right away."

"Of course."

There was a silence so long, Fili almost left... almost, but just as he took a step to go, Dwalin spoke: "Thorin, can we talk about somethin'... personal?"

Fili's heart almost stopped, as he realized he was eavesdropping on the very conversation he wasn't even sure should happen, and he was frozen, listening intently.

"Of course, Khuzsh... What is it?"

Fili placed his hand on his heart, holding his breath, as there was another silence. "I'm not tryin' to overstep anythin'... but I wanted to talk to ya about... Fili."

"Fili? What about him?"

"Well, I've been... noticin' him lately... and, well, I wanted to ask ya..." Fili's heart was thudding against his chest.

"His courtship?"

Fili's breath suddenly started again, as he almost gasped. Thorin had just finished that sentence... like he knew? He couldn't. Could he?

"Well, aye..."

This silence was the worst of all, Fili felt like his breath was so loud, they must have heard them, and he took a moment to look around and make sure no one was there. "Dwalin... Khuzsh... I..."

"I know that I don't have much to offer 'im... Believe me, I know that... but if ya let me... I want to at least try to make 'im happy."

"And what makes you think Fili will share the affection?"

Fili's breath stopped again.

"I... don't..." He could tell it was hard for Dwalin to lie to Thorin.

"My friend... I understand that you are sincere in your request... I do... and I do not feel like you're overstepping yourself. You are as worthy a dwarf and consort as you are a captain."

Fili felt a smile teasing at his lips.

"However..." It fell, "I worry that Fili is going through a bit of... turmoil. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but I just feel that a relationship would not be a good thing for him right now... at least, until he overcomes whatever has caused him to be so... melancholy."

Fili felt his heart shatter, and this wasn't figuratively. His knees threatened to buckle under him, and he had to steady himself on the door. Not only had Thorin just told him no, it was his fault. The reason he had just denied his relationship was because of Fili's actions, and his moods. The guilt was absolutely overwhelming. Hee looked around to make sure no one was in the hall, and tried his best not to choke on the emotions building in his throat.

"Well, maybe I can help 'im... I want to."

"I understand that, Dwalin, and I know your intentions are good, but I simply don't feel that Fili is ready. Allow me to... talk to Fili, but for now, I think it would be best if we save the idea for the future."

Fili had heard enough, he took off, suddenly released from his spot, and ran, as fast as his legs could carry him to his room. He slammed his door, finally letting the emotion take him. He rushed toward, the bed, but suddenly found himself going past it, and slamming his hands down on the window sill. He looked up and didn't even try to stop himself, throwing the window open. The air flew in, sending his hair flying back, and his breath turned into a small cloud, that rushed back behind his face. He threw his hands back down, gripping the edge of the window tightly.

He tried suddenly to pull back, trying to remind himself that this behavior is what just caused this. Even if Thorin had never seen it, he sense it, like a good uncle should... but his fingers just stayed where they were and he stared straight out to the snow-covered openness in front of him. He wasn't surprised that Thorin had denied them, he had expected that from the very beginning, but he had never expected it to be that reason. He hadn't mentioned anything about Dwalin's age, or his social standing, in fact, he had said that he would be a very worthy consort, but it was Fili who wasn't ready... it was him.

He closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing, but he was just so... frantic. He felt all kinds of horrible emotions and the longer he though about it, the closer he leaned to the window. Thorin had understood. He really had, and that made it all the harder to deal with. Maybe he was right... maybe he wasn't ready for a relationship like that until he conquered his demons... but that was hard to accept. He wanted to be with Dwalin. He made him happy, and even though he was still struggling, when he was with Dwalin, those thoughts didn't come... but if they overcame him... if he did something... unthinkable. Dwalin would be crushed... it would hurt him deeper than he cared to think of, and he knew that.

Maybe it would be better if he... just did it.

His eyes fell and when they met the ground, he felt his knee lift, and he knew it was heading for the ledge, but he managed to press his boot back onto the stone. He knew that there had been some light in the conversation... but all his mind could focus on was Thorin's voice saying 'However'... He had praised Dwalin and even made reference to the future, but Fili didn't want to wait. He didn't know if he could. He shook his head, trying desperately to think rationally. He was starting to sway a bit, and with much difficulty, he shoved back from the window and started pacing furiously.

Finally, he fell down on his bed and let out a frustrated sigh. He turned to his back and stared at the ceiling, it was certainly more calming. His mind was clearing a bit, as he focused on his breathing. He still couldn't keep the conversation from repeating, but he was analyzing it now, thinking of anyway he could make it better. Thorin did say he would speak with him, but that was just awkward. What was he supposed to say? What would Thorin even say about that?

Nephew, Dwalin asked for your hand, but I said no. Sorry.

Fili immediately felt bad for the thought. First, Thorin was unaware he ever knew. Second, he had said nothing that wasn't true, and Fili was starting to realize it. That was the hardest part. He wanted to believe that he was ready. That he could be committed, understanding, and loving... and Thorin couldn't ask for a better protector for his nephew. It was starting to settle in him that if he wanted this to work, he might have to be pretty... honest, and that idea was terrifying.

Then, a knock.

He would've honestly beleived he was having a heart attack. He stood and took a few deep breaths before saying: "Who is it?"

"Fili, it's Thorin."

He had to consciously remind himself not to pass out. He turned around, and started fixing his bed, just trying to look busy before saying: "You can come in."

As the door opened, Fili could feel his heart in his chest. Thorin shut the door behind him, and he knew. "How are you feeling?" Thorin asked.

"Fine." He replied just as he finished smoothing out his comforter. He slowly turned to meet Thorin's gaze. He was looking down at him with an odd expression. It was inquisitive, and Fili felt a little nervous under it. "I wanted to talk to you about something..."

"Yes Uncle?" He didn't try to sound clueless, but he hoped he didn't give himself away.

"I just spoke to Master Dwalin... He asked me something that, honestly, surprised me."

"What did he ask you?" There he was being dishonest with him again. It was starting to eat at him more than anything else.

"He asked me for your hand in courtship."

It was in that moment that Fili had to decide whether or not he was going to tell Thorin the truth. He jerked himself back and forth in his mind, and ended up just kind of standing there.

"Does that surprise you?"

Fili looked up to his uncle and tried to speak, not sure what he was really going to say, but the words just didn't come, and in the way Thorin's eye changed, he knew he'd given himself up.

"It doesn't... You've been having a relationship with him?"

"No!" He suddenly found his voice, "I mean... I wouldn't call it that..."

"Fili..." Thorin's voice was a bit hard. "Tell me the truth."

After a second of making sounds and half-words, Fili finally managed to form a less than helpful explanation: "We... have expressed... interest to each other."

"So you share his affections? I wish he would have told me."

Fili thought for a moment that he had changed Thorin's mind, but when his uncle looked at him with those fatherly eyes, he knew.

"Fili, I think that you are too young. You are an heir of Durin, and I believe that at your age, your heart should be elsewhere. Dwalin is a very worthy suitor in heart, but his age does cause me concern, only because you may be left lonely in later years. I just do not think it's something you should infest in right now." He walked over and placed his forehead to Fili's, but his nephew was looking straight down, "I'm sorry. When you're older, you will understand. I just want what's best."

"I understand." Fili said flatly.

"Fili..."

"I said I understand. Is that it?"

Thorin actually looked kind of hurt, and he took a deep breath. "Yes, I suppose." He turned and walked to the door, but before leaving he turned back: "I'm sorry if you disagree. I'll think on it... but for now, my answer is the same." With that, he left.

...

Fili spent the day locked away in his room. He changed, and even managed to take a bit of a nap, but when he awoke, he felt restless. It was dark outside, but it could tell it was early evening. He pulled on his coat, and walked out. Hoping to find someone to talk to. It really didn't matter who, he was just tried of being alone and feeling so upset. It was particularly cold, and he wrapped his arms around himself as he walked, just looking around for signs of life.

He found himself about to turn the corner to the outside hallway, lined with balconies, not to mention the one he had stood on that night that changed everything. He almost walked out, but in a second of conscious, he dipped down another to his left that led to the kitchen. He thought maybe Master Bombur would be there and he was always nice to talk to, but really he was wondering if Kili would be there. He hadn't forgotten the look in his eyes, and the way he had dashed away from him, but when he turned into the kitchen, there was no one there.

Maybe it's later than I thought...

He turned and head up some stairs towards the Great Hall, even though the balconies would also be there. He just wanted to find someone. When he made it to the top, there were at least two guards standing on either side of the doors, like always. One was Dwyn.

"Master Dwyn, it seems we can't keep from meeting each other." Fili said and forced a smile, "Have you seen my brother?"

"No, Sire, I'm sorry... but I did see His Majesty a bit ago, heading towards the drawbridge, or his quarters."

"What about the Captain?"

"The Captain?" Dwyn seemed confused that he would ask. "Last I saw him, he changed my post. I was supposed to work the drawbridge, but he told me to come here. That was a while ago, however, at the guards barracks."

Fili thought for a moment, then thanked him. He turned toward the drawbridge, not sure what drew him there, and he hoped it wasn't the darker part of his mind setting a trapped. His feet, however, walked steadily to the massive staircase, but when he arrived, no one was there, expect the lone guard on bridge duty. He wondered to himself if he was meant to be at the Great Hall, or if there was another change. He shrugged it off, and walked straight across the top of the staircase, and up another set of stairs that led to the other side of the crescent shaped Royal Quarters, where Thorin's room was. He didn't really want to speak to Thorin, but if he did see him outside, he would just ask him where Kili was.

When he made it to the top of the stairs, he stopped and listened. For a moment he heard nothing, then, almost loud enough to make him jump. He heard Kili.

"No!" Kili yelled.

He rushed, but froze when he heard a familiar voice hushed him... Thorin.

"No, Thorin... You don't understand."

"I understand well enough."

"No, you don't because you won't listen!"

Fili couldn't believe what he found himself listening in on. He had never heard such a tone from Kili. It was angry, but also very sad. Fili could hear the shaking in his breath, and he couldn't believe he was acting in such a way towards Thorin!

"What is it then?" Thorin's voice was also that mixture of anger and sadness. "Do you think anything you're going to say will make this right?"

"I don't care, Thorin!"

Thorin hushed him again, and this time, he listened, and Fili had to press himself just around the corner to hear.

"Thorin..." Kili was crying now, he knew his brother, "I love you..."

Fili was shocked. It was rare that they said such things to their uncle. He just wasn't that kind of affectionate, but Fili also felt odd that he found himself wondering exactly what he had meant.

"Kili..." Thorin sounded a bit shocked, and utterly defeated.

"Does that change anything? Does that make it right?" Kili's voice was so heartbroken, and that Fili had to place his hand over his own, "My heart says it is. Does that count for nothing?"

"Of course not."

"Then why are you pushing me away? You can't... I can't do it. I love you too much..."

Then there was a silence and an odd shuffling, long enough for Fili to brave a peek around the corner, and he nearly fell right out into the hallway. Pressed up against the door to Thorin's chamber, in the shadows, there was his uncle and brother... kissing!

Fili felt a sudden anger and for none of the reasons one would expect. Not that it was Thorin and Kili, honestly he had suspected the odd bond for years, around the time he formed his own with Dwalin. Also, such a relationship was not unheard of in their culture, but one had not been seen in a long time, at least not that Fili had witnessed. He didn't mind how young his brother was and that he was experimenting, he understood all of that, but that was why he was angry. Kili had shut him out and assumed he wouldn't understand and that hurt him. He would have welcomed it and helped him... and Thorin had denied his relationship with Dwalin, when he was having one like this? Kili wasn't even of age, but Fili was too young?

Suddenly he couldn't hold it in, he whipped around the corner, just as the two backed away from each other. Kili tried to wipe his face when he saw his brother and opened his mouth to say something but Fili was already going: "How dare both you..." He wasn't speaking loud, but the venom was there. "You... You denied my relationship, but you were doing this?"

"Fili..." Kili started.

"Don't, Nadad. You shut me out! I would have helped you! I would have understood, and I'm going through almost the same thing!"

"Fili, let me..." Thorin stepped forward, but right now, even he could not stop the words.

"No... I'm explaining... I don't mind that you two are together. Good, in fact, I'm happy for you! But for the two of you to assume that I wouldn't understand or that my relationship was less worthy than your own..." He looked right at Thorin, "Shame on you both!"

With that, he turned and walked out, heading straight for Dwalin's. He expected one of them to follow, but he supposed shock got the better of them, because no one did. To him, Thorin's answer didn't matter anymore. It hurt him so much that his uncle would do that. That he would have his own vice that he couldn't share, and that he denied his nephew... well, one of them. He shook his head. He had completely forgotten the nature of the talk he had walked up on, but his anger was clouding his mind, and he wanted nothing more than to go to Dwalin's and tell him that they were officially in courtship, for he deemed Thorin's answer unworthy.

He found this odd joyful feeling swelling in his chest. Like he had won, a triumphant feeling. He could now go to Dwalin, and be with him, in the way he wanted to be, even if he was having to shame Thorin into it, he didn't really mind. He would fix things later. Right now, he only wanted to be with his warrior, tell him everything, and be happy.

When he got to his door, he knocked but did not wait for a response, he opened the door to find Dwalin walking towards it. As soon as he saw Fili his face dropped, and Fili knew why. He shut the door behind him quickly, and kissed him, but Dwalin pulled back.

"Fili..."

"I know."

"Know what?"

"I know what Thorin said, but it doesn't matter."

"Of course it matters."

"No... I saw him... with Kili. They were kissing."

"Kissing?"

"Yes, don't you see. Thorin can't deny what we have if they have..." It was then, as he was replaying the conversation in his mind that he realized exactly what they had been saying.

"Do you think anything you're going to say will make this right?"

"Then why are you pushing me away? You can't... I can't do it. I love you too much..."

His heart sank. "He was leaving him..."

"What?"

"Thorin... he was leaving him... pushing him away, but then... they kissed, and I got so angry because he had said we couldn't, and I just lost control. I yelled at them... both of them..." Fili felt that familiar guilt rush over him.

Dwalin walked over to him, and gave a deep sigh, but then he kissed him deeply. They held each other close, and Fili knew Dwalin felt the same relief that he did, even if he was acting a little apprehensive. He broke the kiss and looked down at Fili with one of those unreadable expressions.

"I think we all need to have a talk..."


	8. Awkward Conversation

Chapter 8: Awkward Conversation

It took Dwalin a long time to convince Fili to face them. He felt bad for what he had said, but he had meant it. He was still feeling it, in fact, and tried to convince Dwalin that it was too soon.

"What is with you and talking to people, anyway?"

"It's not gonna go away..."

"Why not?" It was more of a rhetorical question, but Dwalin answered.

"Because my feelings for ya aren't goin' away... and whatever is goin' on between them doesn't matter... you're going to have to talk to them eventually."

He was right as ever, and Fili couldn't help but smile at him. "I wish you would quit doing that..."

"Doin' what?"

"Making sense..."

Dwalin stepped forward, and kissed him. "Come on."

Fili didn't fight him and walked out with him. They were walking very close, but Fili felt safer that way. He could feel his heart beating harder and faster the closer they got to the hallway he had just witnessed ... something he was still trying to comprehend. Dwalin smiled down at him. "It'll be alright..."

They turned the corner, and the only person standing there was Thorin. Fili immediately looked down when he noticed them, and he heard Dwalin take a deep breath... but Thorin didn't sound angry when he spoke: "I suppose he told you what he saw."

He didn't hear anything, but he saw Dwalin nod slightly from his gaze at the floor. Thorin let out a bit of a nervous laugh, and Fili looked up. He had turned from them and was rubbing his face with both hands. Finally, he turned back to them and placed his hands on his hips. He was nervous, shaken, and a bit embarrassed. Fili had never seen him so exposed.

"I suppose I owe you an explain."

Fili looked at him apologetically. "You don't have to." He spit out.

"I do." Thorin looked at him with the same sadness in his eyes. "We have been sharing this... relationship for a couple weeks. I know that it doesn't make much since from the outside... or the inside... but there was just something, and I couldn't help myself..."

Fili felt bad for the way he stumbled over his words. He wanted to rush over and make him stop, but he also wanted to hear.

"It doesn't matter now... I have ended it."

"Why?" Fili said suddenly.

"Because... He is too young, and we are..."

"Don't even say it." Dwalin said suddenly, speaking to Thorin like a friend and not a king. "We both know that's not unknown." Dwalin was right. Your One was your One. Your heart decided that.

"That doesn't make it right, or make him old enough."

"Do you love him?" Fili asked.

Thorin looked at him with wide eyes at the sudden question. "I .. don't know."

"I think you do."

"And what makes you say that?"

"Because after he told you he loved you too much for you to send him away, you kissed him."

"It wouldn't matter."

"Why? Mahal, what has gotten into you?" Fili was just so astonished by Thorin's lack of sense that he had to speak his mind, "You love him, and you know you do. I saw it in that kiss, Thorin. Dwalin and I are in..." He trailed off not wanting to say it for fear of Dwalin's reaction, "A relationship... and you are just ignoring it... Who cares what's right and wrong, or how they did it before? Our hearts don't always follow tradition. What is wrong with that?"

Thorin was silent for a moment, and then he looked to Dwalin. "Is that how you feel, my friend? Have I been foolish?"

"I think you've been nothing but noble... even if ya were a bit wrong." He smirked at him, and Fili had to smile when Thorin returned it.

"You have never lied to me before, Khuzsh, and I believe you now." He took a deep sigh and looked at Fili. "You have proven me wrong, Nephew... and I couldn't be more proud of you... and out of anything else, it is for your heart." He walked over and placed his hands on his shoulders. "If this is what you really want... Both of you." He looked to Dwalin, then back to Fili. "Then I will not deny you that."

Fili looked at him in complete shock, not expecting those words to ever come out of his uncle, Thorin Oakenshield. "What about Kili?"He asked, suddenly very concerned for his brother, now that his own fears were doused.

"He left right after you did. I don't know where he went. I will find him and speak with him."

Fili knew there was only one place Kili went when he was that upset. "I know where he is." He said assuredly.

The two older dwarfs looked at him curiously.

"I'll talk to him." He said, placing a loving hand on Dwalin's arm, and then giving Thorin a warm smile. He then turned and left, a feeling in his chest that he almost couldn't describe. He was elated and excited. He was walking on air and felt like he was in sand at the same time. Thorin had just blessed his relationship, and they could now be together without fear, and without Dwalin feeling wrong for what he was doing. He couldn't be happier, in fact, he strolled right past the balconies without even noticing. He was too focused on his new relationship, and finiding his brother.

Then suddenly the thought occurred to him... What was he supposed to tell him? Thorin had never said he would continue his relationship with Kili. Fili didn't know how he felt, really. He had got it out of him that he care for Kili, but he didn't say that he would stay. As he was wondering, he came to room in the Royal Quarters. It was the nursery, and it had been vacant for a few years. He opened the door, and smirked. There was a crawlspace, just at the far right corner of the room, and the colorful board that hid it from the children was slightly askew. He walked over, and bent down, but before he could say anything Kili's voice came from inside.

"Go away."

"I wanted to talk to you. I knew you'd be here."

Kili didn't answer.

"Are you really gonna make me come in there?"

Fili felt like he was a child again, trying to coax his younger brother out after a fight over a game or a toy. It had always gone the same way... just as it was going now.

Kili was silent.

Fili rolled his eyes but smiled, reached over and slid the board to the side. The crawlspace was pretty big, even in their older sizes. Kili was sitting as far back as he could, just in front of the door. He had a small candle on a holder sitting beside him, providing the small space with an odd bouncing glow. There was just enough space for Fili to crawl in, fix the board and sit with his back to the adjacent wall, with the board to his left, and his legs outstretched toward Kili's placing the brothers in an "L" shape.

"After all this time... You still come here."

"What do you want?"

Fili ignored his brother's angry tone. "Seemed much bigger back then..."

Kili sighed, and Fili could tell he was annoyed.

"Nadad... Brother... I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't have been angry with you."

"You were right, though." Kili said defeated, "But none of it matters now. He doesn't want me anymore."

"I think you need to talk to him about that."

"You don't even know what he said... He told me himself he didn't think I could really love him..."

"Do you?"

Kili had no trouble telling his brother the truth now, it was like a dam had broken. "More than anything in creation. The stars don't shine as bright without him. The moon is less beautiful. My sun does not come up without a thought of him... Oh, Fili, I'm such a fool..."

"Why does that make you a fool?"

"Because... he said that he didn't think that I could love him, but he should know better. So, he must be the one that can't love me... and that is why he... told me to go."

"Kili..." Fili shuffled to his knees, being careful of the candle and getting close enough to Kili to take his hand, "Loving someone does not make you a fool, Nadadith... and I think that if you talk to him, you may get some answers you need."

"He doesn't want to talk to me..."

"Yes, he does."

"How do you know?"

"I spoke with him."

Kili got suddenly curious. "What did he say?"

Fili chuckled at him. "You just need to speak with him yourself."

"And what if his answer is still the same?"

He had never seen his younger brother so pessimistic. He took a deep breath, and seemingly from nowhere, he started to tell Kili about his relationship with Dwalin. He left out the balcony, but even went as far to tell his brother that he had lost his virginity to him. Kili listened intently, and he had the most understanding look in his eye that made Fili's heart warm. Finally, he ended the story with finding his uncle and brother in the hallway.

"Wow..." Kili said after a second of silence, "Do you love him?"

"I think I do." It was easy to admit after the way Kili had expressed his feelings for Thorin.

"That means..." Kili thought for a moment, "Yes... the morning after he told me we could no longer be together was when Dwalin asked him for your hand..."

It all made sense to Fili. He had said no because he was dealing with his own emotions toward Kili. It almost had nothing to do with Dwalin, or him. Fili was feeling more sure than ever that this was going to be a turning point for him, and his brother. They had found their Ones, and even though they may not be what anyone expected, that didn't mean that it was wrong, or that the love wasn't real. He knew he loved Dwalin, and if Kili could speak of Thorin that way even after he had hurt him, than he was over the moon.

"Come on, Nadad. You have to speak with him."

"I'm... scared to. I don't want him to say those things again. If he doesn't want me, Fili... there will be no light for me..."

Fili tilted his head at his brother, and wished the space didn't keep him from hugging him tightly. "You'll never know until you finish your conversation. I'll be with you every moment I can, Nadadith."

The brothers climbed out and started walking, not exactly sure where Thorin and Dwalin would be. Fili could tell Kili was extremely nervous. He tried to think of something to say, but nothing seemed right, so he just walked with him, hoping his support would be enough, but when they made it to the hallway, it was empty. Fili convinced Kili to knock at hiss bedroom door, but no one answered. They made their way down to the Great Hall, but suddenly, just before the doors, Kili veared to the right and onto a balcony.

"I can't do it, Fili..." He said, almost out of breath, "I already know what he's going to say."

Fili walked out onto the balcony, taking special care to stand behind Kili, and away from the railing. "Kili... if it means that much, you have to fight for it."

"I can't fight him... not in any way. He just gets to me. Which is probably why..." He lifted his head from his feet and peered over the side. It made Fili have to take a deep breath, trying not to imagine what he knew his brother was seeing. "...I love him so much."

Then, from the Great Hall, Thorin emerged. Fili noticed him, but Kili was too busy, trying to steady his breath and staring over the beautiful ledge. Thorin didn't say anything, but watched Kili closely.

"Fili... if he doesn't love me..." Thorin shot a look at Fili and then back to his brother. "...I just don't know what to do. How do you just... stop? I wish I knew how to make it go away like he obviously can..."

"You really think that I just stopped?" Thorin said, walking towards him.

Kili whipped around so fast, Fili had to close his eyes. He could get the image of his brother slipping over the side, but when he opened them again, he was still there staring at Thorin with wide eyes.

"Kili..." Thorin spoke as if Fili wasn't there, and he was thankful it was late and no one roamed the halls. He looked around for Dwalin, but didn't see him. "I only said what I did because I was worried. Worried for you. You're so young..." He opened his mouth to protest, but Thorin stopped him with a hand in the air. "I didn't want you to end up in a relationship with me, and be unhappy in the future. I didn't know how you would handle the criticism we may face... and I spoke out of emotion, but there are still some things we may need to work through..." Kili's eyes were lined with tears but he wasn't really crying. Fili couldn't believe the emotion he saw in Thorin, and he wrapped his arms around himself, and watched them. "However, I love you... and if you love me... I'd like to be with you." Kili was crying now.

"Really..?"

"Well, I will ask you officially when you're of age, but for now..." He reached out and pulled him close. Fili was certain he had been forgotten. "Let's not worry about the details." He tilted Kili's face and placed a deep kiss on his lips.

Fili smiled at them, but turned, feeling a bit wrong for watching them. He started walking, feeling pretty accomplished, and happy, but also suddenly a bit lonely. He wondered where Dwalin had gone. He wasn't exactly sure how he should even act when he saw him. They were officially in a courtship, recognized by the king. They could be completely open and happy. He peeked into the Great Hall, but no one was there.

He walked toward the Drawbridge, hoping that a darker force wasn't drawing him there. The night was quiet and secluded. He thought of everything that had changed in such a short period of time and he tried not to feel overwhelmed. He was in love, there was no denying that now, and so was Kili. He was still trying to register exactly who he was in love with, but the details didn't matter to him, as long as they were happy. He had definitely had enough of 'right and wrong' for the rest of his life. He made it to the top of the staircase, and glanced over. The drawbridge was just a high... just as menacing... He looked down to see that, of course, it was still a very consequential step backwards at the base of the stairs. He thought of walking down to it, but pressed his boots on the stone. He had no reason to, even though the darker voice was there, coaxing him.

He took a deep breath, and tried to push it away, but it started to cloud him. Every thought of anything other than walking down to the bottom, and staring up at the massive structure just faded from him. He tried to think of Dwalin, but it faded. He found all those overwhelming emotions rushing back as he realized he hadn't beat it, and that even being with Dwalin now, as he had wanted couldn't keep the voice at bay. His eyes were just gliding from the bottom step to the top of the drawbridge, and back again. He couldn't explain why... he couldn't think of one thing to feel that upset about, but yet his thoughts were pulling him, pushing him, almost making him think that he would just be better off ... gone.

He felt the emotion in his chest, and the tears creeping into his eyes, but just as one was about to fall, the world came back into focus, and he heard Dwalin's voice echoing through the massive open area. "Fili!"

He turned but he was slow. He almost didn't recognize who was leaping at him, until he saw Odin's eyes, ravenous, and mad, just before he tackled him. The breath flew right out of him as his back hit the stone floor, and they slid down the breezeway, just passed the staircase, and closer to the row of balconies. Fili tried to turn over and crawl, but Odin was straddling his lap. He grabbed the front of Fili's head and threw it back onto the hard stone floor. Fili saw stars, and suddenly everything was spinning. He closed his eyes and opened them again, but it was like he was on a merry-go-round going way too fast.

Suddenly he was being snatched up, and as his vision finally cleared, he saw Dwalin, Dwyn, and another guard standing very still in front of them. He tried to move, but a sharp pain went through his neck, and he froze as he noticed the long silver dagger Odin had pressed to his throat. He wrapped his hands around Odin's arm, and tried to pull it back, but something in him was too strong. It was then Fili noticed how savage his breathing had become. He was almost grunting with every one. Suddenly, Odin threw his other fist into Fili's ribs with such force, Fili slumped to his knees. Dwalin took a step, but Odin's words stopped him.

"I wouldn't, Captain." He scooped Fili back up by the back of his coat, and replaced the dagger. Fili was trying to steady himself, get his bearings and figure out what he needed to do to get out of this.

"I'll kill ya where ya stand, son of a bitch..." Dwalin was shaking all over, and Fili hated the look in his eyes.

"Now, I don't think you're in a position to be making threats." He jerked the knife, causing everyone to jump and gasp, and him to laugh. He tilted his head, and almost buried his face in Fili's hair. Fili shifted his feet to get a better stance to headbutt this lunatic right in the face, but as soon as his leg slid just slightly back, Odin hooked it with his own and shoved him down with such force, his face smacked the stone. He instantly snatched him back up, and placed the dagger harder on his throat. He whispered to Fili: "Now, now, Love... No need to get feisty and get yourself hurt." He looked up at Dwalin, and the others were a smug grin on his face. "I need a cart, and a pony. Now. I'd like to return home."

"Yer not goin' anywhere..."

"But I think I am, Captain..." He scraped the knife across Fili's neck, and cut him just enough to make him wince.

Dwalin froze instantly. Fili tried not to seem as dazed as he felt. He could feel a hot stream of blood going down the side of his face from his forehead. The world was still spinning, and he couldn't focus on anything. All he could manage to do for the moment, was lean forward, and Odin easily pressed him tightly against his chest, the knife now constantly pressing onto his throat.

"I'm waiting..." Odin's voice was calm, but the way he gripped the knife and shook Fili was far from it. Finally, Fili managed to notice Dwalin's face, and it was utter anger. He could see the battle in his eyes.

Then another voice erupted through the halls. It was Kili. "Nadad..!" There was a sort of yank at the end of his words, and when Odin backed up, his back now towards the row of balconies, Fili could see that Kili had tried to run forward, but Thorin had stopped him, and was now standing in front of him, sword drawn. "There's nowhere to go, Odin... Let him go." Thorin's voice was the most intense anger he had ever heard from his uncle.

"But there is, Your Majesty..." He suddenly back up quickly, and they all jumped forward, but Odin stopped just before the back of his legs touched the railing of the balcony. "I'm going down there... it can either be with pony and cart, or... we'll just fly, but no matter the means..." He ran his hand up Fili's chest, making sure to hike up the dagger in case of protest, "Prince Fili will join me. So, it's really up to you."

Thorin dropped his sword without a second thought. Kili was standing behind him, gripping his coat's sleeve. He looked to Dwalin and spoke swiftly. "Get him a cart." Dwalin shot a look to Dwyn and the other guard, who rushed off.

"Very good, Thorin Oakenshied, King Under the Mountain. You are as wise as the tales say." He backed up just a bit more, and Fili's mind raced. He couldn't let him get to a cart, and he couldn't let him go. He was mad, absolutely insane. He looked to Dwalin, Thorin, and Kili, and the look in their eyes was so terrified, he almost couldn't understand it. He knew that if they left together, and Odin's plan succeeded, he would probably kill him eventually. Among other things that Fili just couldn't think of. If Odin were to kill him right here, though, he figured it was an alright way to die... certainly interesting... but why die a hostage, if you could die a hero?

As thought crossed his mind, he knew he had just enough time to act before he came to his senses. He looked right at Dwalin, who met his gaze without hesitation. He had to take a shaky breath, and he hoped that he was doing the right thing, but he had no time to dwell on it. He smiled at Dwalin, who gave him a concerned head tilt in response. "Men lananubukhs menu...(I love you.)" He said, and Dwalin jumped, knowing immediately what his lover meant to do, but Fili was fast... he had always been fast...

He bent his knees and in one leap, backwards, shoved them back. Odin's arms flew out to his side, as he tried to grab the air to stop himself from falling, releasing Fili, but it was too late. They both tilted over the edge. The air was cold, and the night was dark, but Fili could see the sky and the stars... yes, not a bad way to die. The release of Odin's grip allowed him to take a large breath, and it felt good in his lungs. He was at peace.

"Fili!" Kili's voice rang out.

Fili scarped the railing with his fingers, in an attempt to hang on, knowing he really should, but it just twisted him, his hand slipping and he started to fall, straight down, boots first. He closed his eyes, but just as he thought all of his feelings had finally been reconciled into the one act of ... bravery, or stupidity, he wasn't sure, he felt a hand lace around his. He clutched tightly, and realized with the first real fear he had felt that it was a smaller hand... the hand on his brother. Kili had jumped forward, moving faster than the other, bigger dwarfs, and grabbed his brother's hand.

As his weight snatched, he felt Kili's arm tense, but the rest of his body started to slide, having no time to brace himself in his leap, and fitting too perfectly between the openings of the railing.

"Kili, let go!" Fili commanded, releasing his own grip, determined not to bring his brother with him.

"No!" Kili held on.

Then just as Kili was about to slip down with his brother, hands flew out. Two gripped Kili and yanked him back, his grip pulling Fili with him, then the other set wrapped around Fili's arm, and whipped him over the side. All four dwarfs collapsed into a pile. Fili was almost on top of Dwalin, who was on his back, panting heavily. Kili was lying on his stomach just beside them, with Thorin on his right, leaned against the stone wall. Suddenly Kili leaped up and yanked his brother from the floor so hard, it sent his head spinning again.

"What were you thinking?! You... you... idiot!" He hugged his brother tightly, and the two collapsed to the floor, with Fili being unable to stand.

Fili fell limp into his brother's embrace and closed his eyes. He wasn't sure how to feel. "I'm ... an idiot?" He said, trying to speak normally, almost surprised he could, "You almost ... came with me."

Kili laughed but it was under tears. He hugged him tighter. Finally, Fili opened his eyes to see Thorin and Dwalin standing, looking at the two with odd expressions. Thorin was angry, he could tell, but he was also relieved. Dwalin was smiling at the brothers, but Fili could see him tensing and releasing his fists, and that his breath was still labored. Finally, Thorin reached down, and pulled them apart. He stood Kili up, and then, with Dwalin's help, stood Fili onto his shaky legs.

"Can ya walk?" Dwalin asked, keeping very close to the prince.

"I... don't know."

Dwalin moved and scooped him up. Just as Dwyn and the other guard arrived again. They stopped at the sight in front of them, not sure what had happened. Thorin turned to them and sighed deeply. "Odin fell. We'll need it handled immediately."

"Yes, Sir." Dwyn said, and bowed. The two left again, and Dwalin started walking away, with Fili in his arms.

"Where are we going?" Fili asked.

"To get ya patched up." He felt Dwalin's grip tense. He reached up, even though it took most of his strength and kissed his jaw.

"I'm sorry..." he said, finally letting the darkness swirl into his vision. "I'm... sorry..."


	9. Ever After

Chapter 9: Ever After

When Fili finally came to, his vision was still blurred, but eventually he focused, and he saw Dwalin and Thorin standing in the corner of his room talking. They didn't notice him, and he turned his head, and that was when he saw the bright eyes of his brother, and his contagious smile.

"Nadad..." He said quietly, and Fili was happy kept it calm. He smiled at him and lifted his hand up to stroke his face. Kili smiled, and took his hand tightly. "Please..." He said, gripping his hand, "Don't scare me like that." Fili was slowly starting to regain himself, with some rest in him.

"Thorin..!" Kili couldn't hold it in. The older dwarfs rushed over, but Dwalin stood back, allowing Thorin to get to him first. He looked down at his nephew with concern, but there was also pride... a bit of a light was in his eyes, and suddenly Fili felt closer than he ever had. He then turned to Dwalin, and then to Kili, placing a loving touch on his hand.

"Excuse us, please. Just a moment."

Kili looked hurt, but the look on Dwalin's face was understanding, if not a little apprehensive. He bowed, and looked to Kili, who finally peeled himself away from his brother and followed Dwalin out the door. Thorin sat on the side of the bed, and Fili shifted, but Thorin stopped him. "You shouldn't move." He said.

"I feel fine."

"You hurt your head, Fili. You need to relax."

He conceded, and leaned back. One hand rested on his chest and the other reached up to feel the bandage around his forehead. "He got me pretty good, huh?" He said, trying to sound light, but it didn't come out that way.

"He almost killed you." Thorin said gravely.

"But he didn't..."

"Fili..." He started as if remembering what he had to say, "I feel like I have seen you for the first time. Your bravery, I have always known, but you have shown me that your heart is even more of a marvel. I couldn't be more proud of you for what you have taught me... all in one night." He laughed a bit, and Fili smiled. He placed a soft hand on his nephews cheek. "You'll make a great king one day."

Fili felt a bit confused. "You don't think what I did was... stupid? Or crazy?"

Thorin smiled again, and lifted back up, removing his hand, and crossing them in front of him. "Rash, maybe. A bit impulsive... but stupid?" He shook his head. "Not at all. Crazy?"He shook his head again. "I'd call it brave. That's the heart I'm talking about... you faced your own demise for the safety of others and to see the end of an evil. There's nothing stupid or crazy about that."

Fili smiled again. To have his feeling be put into such perspective was a new concept to him, and he felt like he had a lot to think about. He uncle smiled back at him, and stood.

"I'll keep Kili outside so you can have your privacy with your Captain, but I can't promise a long time. He's been by your side every second."

Fili nodded and smiled, feeling odd, but comfortable with 'your Captain' and the insinuation of privacy. Thorin walked out, and a barely a second later, Dwalin was in and closing the door. He walked over, and Fili was about to say hello to him, when he sat on the bed without even looking, wrapped his arms around the prince, almost gingerly, and pressed their lips together. It was fiery, but Fili felt something in it that made him sad. Fili's arms immediately went around him, and he started to move, trying to be closer to him, but Dwalin stopped the kiss, now holding the prince with both arms, wrapped just under Fili's, holding him lifted off the bed.

"Ya shouldn't move."

"You moved me." Fili teased and kissed him again, but this one was more sweet.

Dwalin didn't allow it to last, and gently unwrapped them, lying him back down, and sat on the bed as Thorin had, but Fili managed to keep their hands laced, even if Dwalin lowered his so that they were still resting on the bed. "I'm sorry..." He said suddenly.

"Dwalin, I feel fine. You didn't-"

"Not that."

Fili blinked. "Then what?"

"Fer what happened..."

Fili lifted straight up. Even with Dwalin trying to keep him there, he managed to sit up with his back to the cold stone headboard. He was wearing a thin white, long sleeve shirt and he could easily feel it through the material. He looked right at Dwalin's eyes. "Why would you think you owe me an apology for that?"

"Because..." Dwalin actually let go of his hand. "He got by me... He knocked Dwyn on the head with somethin'... I didn't see, somethin' hard, and he ran right fer me... might as well jumped in my arms, and somehow the little bastard tripped me... and if he hadn't... if I would have just grabbed him..." He lifted his hand and gentle brushed the bandage with his thumb. "He never could have done this to ya..."

Fili grabbed both sides of his face, and placed their foreheads together so quickly, he hurt his head a bit. "I wasn't paying attention... he obviously had some kind of training. None of it is your fault."

Dwalin took his hands and laced them together, and held them in his lap, and took a deep breath, but Fili could tell he didn't believe him. He decided not to press it for now. He wanted to be happy. There was something in him now... something changed. Almost like, in the most basic way, he'd gotten it out of his system. He had faced death, and in the shock of survival, he realized... it wasn't time, and perhaps the world was a little more changed for him being there than he thought.

He smiled, and Dwalin smiled back but his eyes were confused. "Tell me, Master Dwalin..." Fili said, just like the first night, "Would you object to letting a prince move into your humble home and not coming to the Royal Quarters yourself? I believe I'd be happier that way."

Dwalin actually let out a laugh, and kissed his lips softly. "Whatever you wish..."

Then, there was a lous sound as the door flew open, and Kili rushed in. He ran to the other side of the bed, and jumped into it, smiling when he saw his brother sitting up. He cuddled to his chest, and looked right at Dwalin with an almost possessive glint. "You've had long enough. He can go home with you later." Both Dwalin, and Fili almost jumped at the openness of the comment, but Kili completely ignored them, and just hugged his brother.

"You know, Nadad..." Fili said smiling. "We never had that rematch."

Kili lifted up and smiled like a little kid. It was hard to believe that this little bundle of grins had just saved his life. "We didn't!"

"There will be no snowball fights until Fili is well." Thorin's voice was fatherly as always.

They did not protest, but honestly, Fili was a bit restless. He walked to at least stand. Almost just to make sure it was real. "I want to go outside at least." He admitted.

"No." Thorin said quickly, "I told you. You've hurt your head."

Fili just kind of rolled his eyes, and swung his legs over to the side with Kili, knowing he wouldn't stop him. Kili helped him stand up, and even though his head did spin, it faded quickly, and he was able to walk over to the dresser. The other three just watched him. He looked down and felt the wood, checking that it was like it should, suddenly very taken by the fact that he hadn't fallen off of that balcony. He turned back to them, and took a breath, and stood straight to show that he could.

Thorin crossed his arms, but finally nodded. "Do as you like. I have some more letters to write." He bowed to Fili and Dwalin separately, but when he looked at Kili, he just smiled, then turned. They all watched him go, and then Kili looked up at his brother. "Well..." He said with a sly grin on his face, "I think I'll go... elsewhere." He whipped out of the room after Thorin, and Fili shook his head.

Dwalin watched the door for a moment and then walked over to where Fili was standing. "Are ya sure ya feel ok?"

Fili nodded. "I couldn't rest anyway."

Dwalin looked down at the dresser and noticed a small cherry-wood box. He picked it up and looked at it. "What's this?"

Fili looked and a knot immediately gripped his stomach. "It's the necklace..." He opened it in Dwalin's hands, "That ... Odin gave me." It was odd saying his name knowing he was dead... and technically that he had killed him.

Dwalin looked at it closely, and even though they both knew the pendant was beautiful, it seemed tarnished somehow, and just not as bright as the first time Fili had seen it. He took it from Dwalin's hand and gazed at it closely.

What does one do with such a thing?

"Are ya gonna keep it?" Dwalin asked. There was no hint of jealousy or judgment in his voice. It was a simple question.

"I don't know if I should." Fili answered honestly, "But a part of me wants to."

Dwalin nodded, and took it from him and placed it back in the box. "Keep it, then. I guess he meant no harm when he gave it to ya." Once again his voice was sincere. He sat the box back where he had found and Fili decided he would worry about it another day. "Are ya hungry?"

Fili thought about it, but his stomach was just uneasy and he didn't care for the idea. "Let's just go for a walk." He looked around the room and found his boots and slipped them on. He grabbed his coat and put it on, before looking at himself in the mirror. He found when he saw how ridiculous he looked with the bandage around his head. He sat down in front of his mirror, and looked over to Dwalin. "Can I take this off?"

"You're goin' to anyway, aren't ya?"

Fili just nodded. He didn't care for it, and even though there was a low throbbing in the front where it had smacked the stone, he slowly undid it while Dwalin watched carefully. Finally he was free of it, and the large red spot on his forehead was starting to heal, and luckily, his hair covered most of it. He redid his braids as best he could with his hands feeling weak. He certainly felt like Odin had got the better of him. Finally, he stood.

Dwalin pulled on his own coat and Fili pointed at it. "You washed your coat."

"Aye." Dwalin said, and then cracked a smile, "Your brother had quite a laugh about it, actually..."

"He noticed, huh?" They were walking out of the room as the spoke.

"Oh aye. Said he could believe he didn't notice it was mine when he saw ya in it."

Fili laughed. "It's so odd to talk about it like that."

"What do ya mean?"

"So open. If you would have told me two weeks ago that you and Kili would be having a conversation about how I looked in your coat... I would have laughed."

Dwalin smiled, and turned them toward the kitchen, even though Fili had said he wasn't hungry. "Yer uncle warmed up faster than I expected... We talked while you were sleepin'. He wants to hold a feast when you're well enough."

"Oh Mahal... I don't want a celebration in my honor ever again."

Dwalin chuckled at him, and then fluidly reached out and took his hand gently, and before Fili knew it, they were walking hand-in-hand into the kitchen. He smiled about it until he saw Bombur and Bofur notice them. He wasn't sure how they would react, and though he wasn't embarrassed of Dwalin at all, he was afraid of the shock it might cause.

"Well, now, Prince Fili!" Bofur stood, removing his ever present hat, and bowing low. He replaced it with a smile. "Glad to see you out and about!"

"Yes!" Bombur agreed with his booming voice, "I shall make you up something, and I don't want to hear a word about it expect: 'Thank you, Master Bombur! That will be lovely.'"

"Thank you, Master Bombur. That will be lovely." Fili repeated, and laughed. It was then he noticed Bofur's eyes moved down to their clasped hands. They got a bit wider and his eyes brows perked up. The toymaker looked up to meet Fili's gaze, and then looked to Dwalin.

"Well, well!" He said with the biggest smile he thought he had ever seen on him. He nudged Bombur playfully with his elbow, and pointed the mouthpiece of the smoking pipe he was holding at the couple's hands. "Look here, Master Bombur! It seems congratulations are in order!"

Bombur noticed, and even though he couldn't hide his genuine smile, he looked to Dwalin. "Now, would you look at that! I'll be honest with you, Master Dwalin... I expected you to do a heck of a lot worse." He winked at him.

Dwalin gave him a look that said 'watch it', but a smile slowly crossed his lips. The two sat along the counter with Bofur. "Well!" The toymaker said, still proud of his discovery, and grasping the chance for new conversation. "This is certainly a courtship I could not predict, but I certainly approve. You compliment each other, I think."

"And why we would need ya to approve?" Dwalin said, but there a playful tone there as Bombur poured them fresh mugs of ale.

"You wouldn't." He laughed, "But you have it all the same, Captain!"

Fili smiled. He was surprised it was being received so well. Bofur and Bombur would never had said anything negative, of course, but they were being so natural that it made Fili warm inside, and every fear he had about his relationship was slowly fading away.

"Do tell." Bofur said, still smiling, "How long has this been going on?"

"Not long." Fili said, hiding his mischievous smile.

Bofur laughed at the young prince and gave him a wink. He saw right through him, and Fili knew it, but that was alright with him. He didn't want to hide anything anymore. He jumped a bit when Dwalin slid his hand onto his knee. He smiled up at his lover just as Bombur placed food in front of all three of them, there was even a plate for himself. They ate and drank, and Fili felt his strength returning with every second. They all laughed and smiled, and Fili couldn't think of a dinner he had enjoyed more.

Then Dwalin stood. Fili followed suit, and they thanked the chef and toymaker for their kindness. They headed out with fond farewells from the two, and started walking toward the row of balconies and the drawbridge. Fili was leading them. He wanted to go there, just to make sure that he still could, but he could see that Dwalin was skeptical about where they were going, and sure enough, just before they turned onto the breezeway, he stopped him by the arm.

"Fili... are ya sure ya want to go out there?"

"Dwalin, if I can't face it now, I never will. How will I even live here if I can't go by the front gate?"

"I got ya, but it's hasn't even been a day."

Fili could see the sun getting lower in the sky, but it was barely passed lunch time. He took the warrior's hand in his and held it tightly, and started walking as he spoke: "You're here with me. You can walk on that side, if you want, but I promise... I'm not afraid of it."

"Maybe ya should be..." Dwalin spoke quietly, but he knew Fili had heard him.

Fili stopped, by beside the first balcony, and stood right in front of the warrior. It was odd being out in the open like they were, but Fili tilted his head up and kissed him. Neither of them cared who was around once their lips were connected. They stood, in their own little world for a moment, and when they broke, Fili couldn't resist looking around, but they were alone. "I have you..." Fili said assuredly, starting to believe it for himself, "I don't have to be afraid anymore."

Dwalin still didn't look too convinced, but he allowed the prince to lead him on down the breezeway, even though he stayed on the side with the balconies. Fili had to resist the urge to look, but he fought it well. He was starting to accept that he would always have these feelings. He would always be pessimistic, and easily bored. That was just a part of him. For whatever reason, the dark voice would more than likely remain, but as he held Dwalin's hand and stared in front of him, making small talk about Bofur's reaction to them, he knew that it was something he would just have to fight. His own responsibility to himself as he had explained it to Kili... and he knew he wasn't alone.

Suddenly, they were at the drawbridge, and Fili had almost not even noticed it, when normally the walks, for him, were unnaturally long. Dwyn was standing at the top of the staircase, obviously his post.

"Master Dwyn." Fili said with a smile. He wasn't sure how their odd friendship had come about, but it was there and he found he cared for him, and enjoyed his company.

Dwyn looked over and smiled at him. "Sire..." He said and bowed low. "I'm glad to see you're alright." His voice was very polite, and when he lifted up, his eyes passed their hands. Fili had forgotten, and was sure, by the look on his face, Dwalin had, too. For the first time, Dwalin let go, and Fili knew he felt odd showing any kind of affection in front of his guard. He was the Captain after all. Fili didn't mind, and looked back to Dwyn who was trying his best not to look shocked. "I-I was hoping you would be."

"Thank you." Fili said casually, understanding that this would probably happen more than once. "How are you?"

"Fine, Sir." He smiled, and Fili could tell he was adjusting the shock. Dwalin was gruff, but not angry, and Dwyn didn't mind talking a bit in front of him, but Fili could tell he was watching his words.

"There you are!" Kili interrupted them. He jogged over. "Have you eaten?" He asked his brother and eyes his suspiciously.

"Yes, Nadad."

He looked to Dwalin, instantly who nodded in agreement. "Very good. Master Dwalin, Thorin would like to see you in the library, something about the letters. I don't know." He waved his hand in the air, as if throwing something over his shoulder.

Dwalin chuckled at him, placed a warm hand on Fili's arm, and then headed down the hall in that silent way that Fili was coming to understand. He watched him for a moment, and then Kili spoke. "You know, Nadad.." Fili looked at him, but he was looking down the hall as Dwalin turned the corner "I never thought you would actually end up courting him..."

Fili couldn't hold in his giggles, remembering their childhood so vividly. Kili joined him immediately, amused that he had gotten the joke. Dwyn was beside Fili and he, too, started laughing, having heard Kili's comment. It took them a good moment to regain themselves. Kili always being the one to start again, sending them back into fits. Finally Fili got his bearings and was finally able to answer him: "Neither did I."

"I like it though. It's like a fairy tale..."Kili said, and then he chuckled again. "An odd, very dwarvish, fairy tale."

Fili smiled at him and resisted the urge to laugh. He was right, in a way, though Fili didn't really care to think of it that way. It just seemed too juvenile a statement to describe what he felt for the warrior Dwalin. He loved him. If he asked him, right now, to marry him, he would say yes, without a second thought. He didn't care what anyone would have to say about it.

Then Kili turned to his brother and brushed his hair away from the wound on his head. Fili pushed his hand down and moved his hair back. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Better." Fili answered.

"Good." Kili laced their hands together. "Let's go see the snow again. I promise I won't throw a snowball at you."

Fili almost said no, but the temptation was too great to do something fun. He wanted to smile more. So, he lead his brother to the drawbridge, even though neither of them were really dressed for it, and they rushed out. The snow was still high, and not a bit had melted in the frosty air. The brothers started walking around in it. Kili was keeping his promise, but Fili kept an eye on him in case.

"So..." Fili said, curiousity getting the better of him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Kili sighed, and looked at the white ground. "How was I supposed to say that? Besides, you didn't tell me about your little affair."

This was true, but honestly, Kili had never asked. "Were you wondering?" He asked.

"Well, no... but... your relationship is a bit more normal, and I totally called it! Even as kids."

Fili laughed at him. "That you did, Nadad... but still... I didn't think I could share it with anyone. Though, if I had, it would've been you."

Kili looked at the ground, and Fili realized he had made him feel bad. "I thought about telling you. When he told me to go the first time, but I was trying to protect him. I didn't want you to be upset with him for hurting me."

"I would have been."

"See?"

Fili smiled at him, but he really wasn't certain how he would've felt if Kili had told him something like. "I guess we both learned to trust each other more."

They continued their walk, avoiding the area below the balcony the incident had occurred on, even though it had all been washed away. They walked toward the drawbridge just as clouds started to move in. Fili stopped and looked up at them. They looked a bit menacing, and Kili noticed as well. The bothers looked up at the oncoming storm for a moment before Kili finally spoke.

"I guess we're getting more snow."

"I hope so." Fili said, cracking a smile. Now that Dwalin was home, and he knew he was safe, Fili welcomed the snow. They stood their ground for a moment, and a voice broke their gaze.

"Are you two going to stand out here and freeze..." They looked up to see Thorin and Dwalin walking towards them, "or would you like to come get dinner?"

Kili looked at his brother, and smiled, but then it faded. He looked into his eyes. "You are hungry, right?"

Fili gave him a look, but then nodded. " I could eat." He said, grinning.

They walked over and Fili looked up at Dwalin. He had shine in his eye as if he had been laughing and he could so tell by Thorin's calm smile that they had been having nice conversation. He walked very close to his consort, but the didn't hold hands. Kili had his arm around Thorin's but the way he was bouncing with his steps made it look more like father and son than lover's, but Fili already knew that was their dynamic.

They walked through the halls back toward the kitchen. Fili felt like he was just there, and even though he had not lied to Kili, he wasn't sure he could handle all of dinner... depending on what was served. He knew Thorin was going to have their meal in the Dining Hall, but Fili was looking forward to it, all the same. When they walked in Master Bombur smiled that broad grin that was always on his face.

"Your Majesty!" He bowed, "And Your Highnesses!" He bowed once more. He gave a slight wave to Dwalin and Fili giggled. Their interactions always made him smile.

"Prepare dinner for the four of us, please, Master Bombur. A bit of a special one." Kili smiled up at Thorin as he said it.

"Oh, special, eh?" Bombur nodded. "Of course. Shall I have that serve in the dining hall?"

"Please."

Bombur smiled and started his normal cooking rush. Thorin turned to them. "I'm going to prepare for dinner. I'll see you all there." He spoke more to Dwalin and Fili, than Kili, and when he walked out of the kitchen, Kili was right on his heels.

"He's gonna follow 'im around like a lost pup..." Dwalin said shaking his head, but there was a smile on his lips.

Fili nodded. "He always has."

Dwalin chuckled and returned his nod. "That, he has."

Fili sat down at the counter, and rested his elbows on it. "What are you making us, Master Bombur?"

"I was thinking of this nice turkey we cleaned last night. The normal fixing, of course. Any special requests?"

Fili shook his head, and rested his head on his arms, feeling it start to throb. He watched Master Bombur bounce around the kitchen. It was making him a bit dizzy. Dwalin sat beside him and looked down at him, but didn't touch him. "Are ya alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." The feeling was subsiding a bit, and it was replaced with a mild headache, starting in his forehead. He looked at Dwalin, keeping his chin rested on his arms, thankful the kitchen was dimly lit. "Just a headache..."

Dwalin nodded. "Not surprised..." He said gravely, and Fili couldn't help but hear the guilt in his voice. He lifted up, and was glad the dizzy feeling stayed away. He was going to take his hand, but when his eyes moved down to locate it, they paused on his muscular shoulder, and it just looked so inviting. He leaned down, and the stretch was a bit awkward for just a second, but Dwalin moved his chair over instantly, and draped his arm around him, placing the side of his head more on his chest than shoulder, but he was tall enough that it worked comfortably.

When Bombur bounced back towards them, the sight didn't seem to surprise him. In fact, it was if he didn't notice at all as he spoke to Fili: "You'll feel better when you eat, lad!" He waved that spoon at him, and Fili just smiled.

"Is food your answer for everything, Master Bombur?" He said, teasing, not lifting or looking at all.

"Done right? Aye, I think so!" He laughed, and Fili felt Dwalin chuckle a bit.

"Aye." He said, pointing with the arm that wasn't around his prince. "Ya can tell."

Bombur turned and crossed his arms. He shook his head, and then pointed his spoon back at Fili. "Honestly, you must have the patience of a saint, Master Fili..."

Fili had to laugh at that. He didn't think he took any amount patience to be around the warrior. Of course, he was starting to notice more and more that he had always been treated a little differently by him, and perhaps it had always had more to it than just his position as heir. He closed his eyes. He most almost like he could fall asleep, which was odd for him. He opened them again, and Bombur was walking to the other room to have some servants start preparing the tables, and collecting their food.

Dwalin gently lifted him up, and looked at him, both hands on his shoulders. "Are ya sure you're alright?"

"Yes, Dwalin. I'm fine. I'll tell you if I'm not, I promise."

Dwalin nodded, but he had that unconvinced look again. Fili just smiled at him. He stood with more ease than he thought, and walked well enough. They made their way to the Dining Hall, passing several servants, who glanced over at them more than once. They were not holding hands, but they were walking very close, and he was certain their favorite toymaker had made it his soul duty to tell every dwarf in Erebor.

When they turned in the Dining Hall, Kili and Thorin were already sitting there, and the last of the meal was being placed. They sat down. Fili on Thorin's right with Kili in front of him, and Dwalin by his side. He felt comfortable. He looked to Dwalin who smiled at him.

Kili was already tearing into a roll and filling his plate. They other three joined him. The dinner was happy and slow. They avoided talk of what happened and it seemed so far away now. They had hot coffee at the end of dinner, just to prolong their time together. Fili didn't care for it as much as Dwalin's, but he enjoyed it anyway. Finally, Thorin addressed them all.

"It seems we will all be embarking in a new chapter of our lives."

"A good chapter." Kili said smiling, and Fili returned it. He felt his leg brush against Dwalin's and it made a slight chill flow through him. He suddenly realized he could go to his home after dinner without any worry of who might see, or wonder. It made him think of how the warrior's hands felt on him, and he found it a bit difficult to listen to Thorin after the thoughts invaded him.

The King looked at all of them, one by one, in that way that he does that was so understanding and wise. Fili loved him, and knew the others did too, in whatever way it was, but he looked to his right, and let his eyes moved over Dwalin, finally, meeting his gaze. All the warrior did was smirk and his and shake his head, then they both looked back to Thorin as he started again.

"Let's put these bad times behind us... but may we be happier for them..." He smiled down at Kili. Fili looked up at Dwalin, and without intention the two couples shared a separate, yet mutual moment, and Fili couldn't help but lifted up to kiss him gently, letting what Thorin had just said sink in, but as soon as their lips connected, even though Dwalin did not seem hesitant, he realized who he was dining with, and he turned his head to gauge Thorin's reaction, but only that movement made him turn from Kili. The moment wasn't awkward.

After a bit longer of talking, and odd glances between Dwalin, and Fili, Thorin finally stood. "The hour grows late, and I must bid you all a goodnight."

Kili looked up and didn't hide his almost hopeful expression, but Thorin didn't acknowledge it, even though Fili knew he had noticed. Thorin looked from the prince to Dwalin, and bowed. "I'll see you in the morning." He said, and Fili had to smile at the fact he'd spoken to them as one. Thorin then turned and left. Fili expected Kili to follow, but he slumped back in his chair and looked at his brother. Fili questioned him with his eyes, but Kili just nodded his head and then stood himself.

"Well, I suppose I'll go. I suppose by now, I'm not above following him." He winked at his bother, and he shook his head.

"I think a little communication would be good for the both of you."

Kili just waved his brother off, and without any other goodbye, strolled out the same door that Thorin had disappeared through. Dwalin stood, and held his hand out to the prince.

"Come on..." He said, "Let's go home." A grin crept across his lips when he said it, and Fili's hand almost shot to the warrior's.

They walked with their hands laced together, and the guards avoided staring. As soon as they got to the door, Fili felt a giddy feeling rise up in him and he felt like a child. He had to let out a laugh. Dwalin looked down at him.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing..." Fili said, smiling. "I'm just happy."

Dwalin opened his door, and they filed inside. Fili walked, looking into the dark fireplace. The home was chili, but not too cold. Dwalin walked past him, with a gentle hand sliding across his back. He knelt down by the fireplace, and started build one. Fili took off his own coat, and sat in one of the chairs, watching his hands work expertly.

"I feel kind of odd..." Fili admitted, just making conversation.

"Why's that?"

"Everything changed so quickly... and now we're together. There's no hiding anymore... It was just fast."

"It was..." Dwalin lit the fire perfectly. "But you're happy, right?"

"Of course." Fili said.

The warrior stacked a few smaller logs, and sat in the other chair, giving it time to catch. Fili stared at his lover, who was watching the fire. His head was starting to feel a bit sore, as he felt the veil of fatigue start to fall over him, but he refused to allow himself to be taken by it. He had other intentions.

"Come here." He said, feeling a bit bold. Perhaps it was his new found peace, or maybe his cocky attitude was finally returning. Dwalin gave him a surprised look, but stood and took one step, and he was right in front of him. Fili lifted his hand, but he didn't have to make it to Dwalin's face, before he leaned down, braced himself on the arms of the chair, and they kissed. It was fiery, and there was a want in it, that made Fili melt, but then, in his way, Dwalin lifted back up.

"Ya need to rest..." He said, turning around, but Fili could tell it was to keep from kissing him again.

"Do we have to do this again?" Fili said, cheeky as ever. "You know we're going to."

Dwalin turned around, and even though there was a slight smirk on his lips he said: "Oh, ya think so?"

"I do."

"We really shouldn't."

"I've heard that before..." He smiled, and the warrior returned it, but shook his head.

"This time, I mean it. Ya feel ok right now, but ya got hurt pretty bad. The last thing ya need is be thrown around..." He trailed off. Fili couldn't tell he hadn't meant it to come off so alluring, but they both felt it. Fili stood, and walked over to him. He wrapped his arms around his neck, and sighed when the warrior's arms wrapped around his waist.

"Who said you had to throw me around?"

Dwalin chuckled and kissed him, but made sure to keep it short and sweet, avoiding Fili's tongue. "Let's just say, it would end up that way..."

Fili lifted up and started placing small, teasing kisses on his neck. "This is your way of telling me no?" He made sure his breath was hot, and obvious. "You're not very good at it."

His arms gripped tighter around Fili's waist, but his voice held it's tone: "I don't think I'll ever be too good at that..."

"Then why try?"

It was then Dwalin pulled back, but he didn't take his hands off the prince's hips. He leaned down, and kissed him, once again, keeping Fili from deepening it. "I just want to make sure you're alright..."

Fili shook his head, and took his head and started leading them toward the bedroom. Dwalin didn't resist him, but he heard a sigh that wasn't exactly sarcastic. He turned and pushed the warrior on the bed. He had hoped he would lie down, but he kept himself sitting up. Fili just took the chance and straddled his hips. Dwalin did crack at a smile, but he was holding back. Fili just kissed him, and encouraged his hands with his own to move up and down his body. Dwalin follow suit easily, and Fili dropped his quickly, tugging at his lover's tunic and belt, until he finally took them off.

As soon as the warrior's shirt was gone, it was like Fili saw the release. His arms wrapped back around Fili with a new force, and he pulled him into a steaming kiss, running his hands down the prince's thighs and around to his ass, which he gave a tight squeeze. Fili jumped just a bit, but kept the kiss going, now fumbling with his own top. Once gone, Dwalin had slowed down again, but Fili could feel he was fully ready, and it was rubbing against him in the most teasing way. He pushed him onto his back and leaned down, rubbing their erections together, and whispering to him: "Please don't make me beg for it..."

Dwalin pushed up with his hips, and captured him in another kiss, and Fili knew he had him now. He flipped them over, taking special care of how the prince's head landed. He kissed him, and moved his hands down, and pulled Fili pants, and boots off in one fluid motion. Fili shuddered as the chili air touched his skin. Dwalin ran his hands from his ankles all the way up to his hips. He kissed his hipbones, and Fili felt himself twitch, but he had no time to complain, as Dwalin's large hand wrapped around him and instantly starting pumping him fast. Fili had to grip the blankets below him, and tried to protest, but his voice wouldn't work.

Dwalin started biting and sucking on his hip, and Fili's hands shot down, almost fighting him. The warrior lifted up, finally slowing his hand to a gentle stroke, and kissed his prince. He used his free hand to push his own pants off. He reached up and grabbed his oil, and started rubbing it on himself, and used a bit to slick the hand around Fili's fully hard cock. He said nothing as he lifted up and placed himself in between Fili's legs. He kept stroking him, and reached down with his other hand and immediately press two fingers inside him. Fili arched and moaned, but it was much more pleasurable than painful. He moved him rhythm with both hands, and Fili had to steady his breathing to keep from loosing it, but Dwalin noticed, and started stroking harder, and pressed a third finger in.

"Gonna cum so soon?" He said from his place above the prince, not slowing at all. "I didn't know ya like to be fingered so much."

Fili felt his cheeks burn from the vulgar way he had said it, but a surge of passion flew through him, and a moan escaped him. Dwalin then pulled his fingers out and without any hesitation, pressed his large, hard cock into him, pulling his hips down with both hands, finally releasing his straining hard on.

"Ah..! Dwalin..!" Fili grasped the sheets, but wrapped his legs around his lover. They started moving in that same rough pattern Fili was falling more in love with every time he found himself in bed with the warrior. Dwalin stayed up, with his back straight, pumping into him with a lust that he couldn't get enough of. He reached up and started stroking himself, knowing that he wouldn't last with the way Dwalin pressed into him in that perfect way.

"Please... You're gonna make me..." He warned, but he was already stroking himself to completetion and jerking on his lover's hard muscle. Dwalin held him tightly around his waist as he came, only pressing in harder, but not faster. Fili fell limp in his arms, but Dwalin was in no way changed. He leaned over him and kissed him wildly as he gripped his hips hard. Fili wrapped his arms around him, and gripped his shoulders with the same force, as Dwalin started to speak.

"Ya know I love ya, right?" Dwalin sped up so he couldn't answer, but he moaned loudly and clung to him. "I'll take ya like this ... any time you'll let me..."

Fili kissed his shoulder, neck, jaw, cheek, and finally made it to his lips, letting his nails run down the warrior's back. Dwalin moaned deeply into the kiss, and his hips moved in a different angle and the thrusts became more shallow, and Fili kissed him deeper as he came, his hands only gripping him harder, and he felt like he was about to literally break in his lover's hands. Then, with a few lingering movements back and forth, Dwalin pulled back, and walked to grab a cloth, per their ritual. Fili watched him, trying not to let to let his head throb as it was threatening to.

Once they were clean, and Dwalin headed to the other room to take care of the fire he probably shouldn't have built, Fili fixed himself, cuddling in the blankets, and closing his eyes. When he heard Dwalin return, he didn't look, but he moved over and heard his lover chuckle. He climbed in the bed, and melted into Fili's back, taking him in his arms, and twisting their legs together.

"Do ya feel ok?"

"I'm wonderful." Fili answered, pressing into him, and smiling when he felt him place a kiss on the top of his head. Then he turned over, keeping their positions, jutst facing him now, and rested his head on his firm chest. "I love you, too..." Dwalin just tightened his hold, and for the first time in a very long time, Fili felt like he had something to look toward... something his own that he could invest in and feel good about... Finally, he had a reason to avoid death. He felt loved, protected, and most importantly, understood. There was something in the way the warrior was to him that just made him feel completely comfortable with himself, and he never wanted to let that go. He realized they were deeply in love, perhaps had been for a long time, and he could feel, in his heart, that nothing could take that away from him.

Fili lifted up and kissed Dwalin deeply, and the two drifted into sleep wrapped in each other's arms.

END


End file.
